just when i was thinking i should expand my social horizons, i rediscover how much i love my old friends. the friends that i've had since i was a teenager (or younger). my best friends, the ones i have ancient history with, that know me better then anyone...
i had a party at my place last night. made a couple of lasagnas, some salad, cookies. had a bunch of great people over. hadnt seen a few in too long, and it made me absolutely the happiest i have been in months. i cant remember the last time i laughed so hard that it hurt, and last night there were a few points where i was in tears. they're the only people i've been around who were drunk since i quit drinking that havent made me feel uncomfortable. everything was so perfect, i couldnt have asked for anything more. the only hitch in the evening was being reminded of how much history i have with one friend, the one who i havent seen in too long. he lives 3 hours away now, and we rarely get to see each other. we always seem to just miss each other. he's ready, im not, im ready, he's not. since i was 14 years old it's always been the same. 10 years of back and forth. most of them spent secretly loving each other. it was almost awkward, but mostly perfect. maybe someday we'll figure it out, and meet somewhere in the middle.
maybe not.
either way, it felt great to be loved last night. it felt great to have hugs that MEAN something. i didnt feel self-concious for the first time in months. i was completely at ease, even though i was the only sober person here.
im rejuvinated.
tomorrow: children's museum with my sisters and nephew
thursday: boston with my sis. daytrip, visit friends. riding the train!
xo.
i had a party at my place last night. made a couple of lasagnas, some salad, cookies. had a bunch of great people over. hadnt seen a few in too long, and it made me absolutely the happiest i have been in months. i cant remember the last time i laughed so hard that it hurt, and last night there were a few points where i was in tears. they're the only people i've been around who were drunk since i quit drinking that havent made me feel uncomfortable. everything was so perfect, i couldnt have asked for anything more. the only hitch in the evening was being reminded of how much history i have with one friend, the one who i havent seen in too long. he lives 3 hours away now, and we rarely get to see each other. we always seem to just miss each other. he's ready, im not, im ready, he's not. since i was 14 years old it's always been the same. 10 years of back and forth. most of them spent secretly loving each other. it was almost awkward, but mostly perfect. maybe someday we'll figure it out, and meet somewhere in the middle.
maybe not.
either way, it felt great to be loved last night. it felt great to have hugs that MEAN something. i didnt feel self-concious for the first time in months. i was completely at ease, even though i was the only sober person here.
im rejuvinated.
tomorrow: children's museum with my sisters and nephew
thursday: boston with my sis. daytrip, visit friends. riding the train!
xo.