everything is so fucking weird right now in my life.
im finally starting to gain some of the confidence back that i used to have (it's only taken 3 years. bad relationships can certainly fuck you up for a longggg time).
i miss tom a lot. it's getting to the point where i really KNOW that he's gone, and it hurts.
so i think i just LOVE to make my lovelife incredibly complicated. it's just so much fun... or something. haha. i dunno. i guess i'm just looking for someone who can make me feel like he makes me feel. a good friend told me last night, "you're young. you know you wont feel like you do right now forever. you still have plenty of time to fall in love." i know that he's right, but it still doesnt make RIGHT now any easier to deal with. i'm sick of feeling cold. i am trying as hard as i can to take tom's death to a good place. tom would want me to stop being such a whiney baby about things, he'd want me to grab life by the balls and take what i want. i'm trying... i'm trying. tonight, i'm going to a show, so i can grab... life? haha. we'll see how it works out. i've had the hugest crush on this person for so long... let's see if i can get up the balls enough to ask him to go see a movie or something. yeesh.
life... is so weird sometimes.
im finally starting to gain some of the confidence back that i used to have (it's only taken 3 years. bad relationships can certainly fuck you up for a longggg time).
i miss tom a lot. it's getting to the point where i really KNOW that he's gone, and it hurts.
so i think i just LOVE to make my lovelife incredibly complicated. it's just so much fun... or something. haha. i dunno. i guess i'm just looking for someone who can make me feel like he makes me feel. a good friend told me last night, "you're young. you know you wont feel like you do right now forever. you still have plenty of time to fall in love." i know that he's right, but it still doesnt make RIGHT now any easier to deal with. i'm sick of feeling cold. i am trying as hard as i can to take tom's death to a good place. tom would want me to stop being such a whiney baby about things, he'd want me to grab life by the balls and take what i want. i'm trying... i'm trying. tonight, i'm going to a show, so i can grab... life? haha. we'll see how it works out. i've had the hugest crush on this person for so long... let's see if i can get up the balls enough to ask him to go see a movie or something. yeesh.
life... is so weird sometimes.