alackofoxygen

it rains tonight and it rains in my heart. called several friends on the telephone... no one home.... so i just did tai chi... white crane spreads wings... felt little chi, like my usual abortive attempts with eastern religions, maybe I'm just too christian or white. played piano instead for hours, like many nights, the notes dull for some odd reason, so i left my studio apartment to the balcony of the complex to have a cigarette... it was the only pleasure I've had all day. life can be a cruel, cruel joke without reprieve. took my pills and now I'm going to go to sleep so I can wake up to the same shit. you'll never care to understand me or offer solace, cause that's what you already expect of everyone else. we're both the same... the only little part of our lives that we've held together is it's destruction.