Happy new year to everybody. Its been a while since I posted on this website and that's because my father died in August. and till recently (End of November) my mood turned as dark as it has for a very longtime and I became a social recluse.
You see I am defiantly my father's son I am spiting image of him looks wise and like him I developed the same mental health issues. I am a Manic Depressive or Bipolar disorder so I cannot control my moods with the use of medication even then I still have to be careful that I do not trigger an episode by sleep deprivation. After my father passed on the high mood I had due to sleeping a little (as I was going out drinking all the time to hide in people and then think what to do with myself) soon faded. I stayed in my flat with my flat mate playing computer games and only leaving to get food. Funny thing my flat mate has ME and up until the end of November he was more active than I was lol!
So what changed? Well with me I never get stuck in a mood forever there was just a few things that I found out when my Dad passed away that knocked me for 6. I am not going to go into those things here I've said enough about me for 1 blog :)
But I have dealt with a lot of the issues in my head, the one that kinda of upsets me a bit but I have to accept is that I could pass away in a similar manner. I know that its something like over 70% chance that I will develop Parkinson's like him what with being a Manic Depressive and his genetic descendant, I choose not to work out the correct percentage because it don't look good for me. My father was a highly intelligent, witty man with such a dry sense of humor but unlike me he had no social skills. He passed on when he wanted so that was cool but I know that if I develop Parkinson's like him I would also choose when I go as well, my dad Roy had started to become senile so was developing Alzhemer's which is a horrible condition for the way it effects the family.
At the end of November I emerged from my black cloud for my friend's 32nd birthday he's the guy in the leather jacket in my profile picture Vinnie (looks very much like Wolverine a great guy and single ;) ). It was his 32nd birthday he is into his Viking reenactment so I got him a plastic Viking helmet and a plastic sword that flashed different colours and made blocking sounds it was christened the mighty sword BOB! The photo posted is my favorite one near the end of the night.
My brothers birthday on the 18th of December was a bit stressful as he didn't give me any ideas for a gift till the actual day! Brothers what can you do with em :) So I had very little of my Christmas shopping done with a week to go only had my nephews sorted out had to still get gifts for my brother and my mum. I luckily was able to get some ideas out of them even though my brother gave the vaguest list you can get i.e. he wanted PS3 games, which ones? I had to go with my judgement luckily I choose correctly with gran Turismo 6. I had an excellent Christmas as my Nephew's made it really good for me what with this being Seb's 2nd Christmas as he's 18months and is bum shuffling around at a rate of knotts. Seb loves things that roll I got him a Police truck he can sit on and drive he loves it as its so light he can push it around. My other nephew Brendan has just turned 13 so is getting into his computer games so I got to play Xbox with him on Christmas day and boxing day.
My favourite game we played was James Bond Russia from Love, we had an epic death match together. I am better at computer games than him as I got the reactions, hand eye coordination and he's Autistic so he is not a creative thinker which the polar (don't pardon the pun) opposite of him. So I was beating him and he doesn't like to lose which is fair enough hes only young. But he finds the jet pack that has machine guns on it which follows was brilliant so all I have is a sniper rifle and my character has a bazooka with a few rockets. I am on the bottom level of the missile silo and hes attacking me from above. I am doing my best to dodge his attacks by using the roll button which I am doing quite successfully. After about a minute of dodging his attacks I say "Brendan I am coming for ya" and start my way up the walkway leading the silo. I roll off avoiding his firepower once and come round again after dodging for awhile continuing my rolling up the silo I make it to the offices indoors with half health. Brendan threatens to come in and get me I retort I'd just bazooka him. So I collect all the power ups I can find 1 restoring my health to full and head out onto the balcony that has a fixed machine gun. I fire back at Brendan's floating menace with at first my Bazooka. He kept moving and coupled with the roll button even when I put in lead I only get close to him once. I decide that I'll try the machine gun but soon realize that was a major mistake as I had lost what had kept me alive my maneuverability. I lost half my health with barely scratching his so I decided I had to try snipe him which requires aiming that makes me stand still, I fire off 4 quick shots as Brendan is shooting me with the machine gun on his jetpack. I kill him first with a sliver of health were one more bullet would have killed me! Not bad for our first deathmatch ;)
So after Christmas day and Boxing day spent at my Brothers I was staying with my Mum at hers. I found I just couldn't sleep very well at my Mum's. So after a late night out Christmas Eve were much alcohol was drank I lost my keys and my phone was stolen. The good news is I have insurance through my bank account and should be able to claim a new one :)
I decided to return to my flat so I wasn't sleep deprived but as my mood was slightly high and I had money I decided to party. I went out on the 27th the 28th had a few on the 29th and late on the 30th as its my mate's Marcus's birthday on New Year's eve. So I danced a lot and occasionally drank but mostly just went out for a good time :)
New years eve I had my costume ready from last year were Vinnie made it clear he didn't want to be seen dead as me as a Mexican with giant sombrero. I must make it clear Weymouth is the only place in the UK were 90% of the people out are dressed up in a costume of some kind this year I was a Mexican wearing a proper sombrero that I got for my brother's stage do. Whilst I have no photos of myself wearing the hat I do have a picture of Marcus wearing it :)
I wore that sombrero poncho and had 2 pairs of mariachis 1 pair I gave to Marcus as a birthday present that he stored at the bar he works at for getting rid of drunk customers. I headed onto Finns from that bar which is the local Rock bar. The band playing I knew as it included in the lineup my brother in-law on lead guitar, they are a local band called Bi-Proxy a good band. After headbanging/dancing with the sombrero which is not easy I left it on the head of my sister's in laws Mum as I went to the bar comeback and its gone :( How in 5 minutes she can lose a hat that big in a bar that small I have no idea.....
Well I didn't let it get my night down to much but she owes me something that hat cost good money and has memories as I took a group of them to Stoke with me for my brother's stag do. It was easier to sing and dance to the band without the thing on though, so swings and roundabouts. After drinking a very large amount of JD and coke I got merry not really drunk and when Finn's shut it was from bar to bar to get more alcohol I started sobering up big time and by the time afterparties were mentioned I really didn't fancy drinking anymore as I was sober ! The best thing I had at the afterparty I went to was the Cadbury's Caramel nibblets I got from my flat when I fetched my JD ;) After leaving the youngsters with my booze as they began on the wacky backy which I can't be around as it fucks my head up I literally laid down and passed out straight away lol
Yesterday I had a quite day played some League of Legends and World of tanks and cooked a lovely Cannelloni of my own creation with extra meat of German spiced sausage and other italian salami's. After eating that I was going to watch this film that according to Mum is really good called Sideffects which I bought but I fell asleep after about 30 minutes lol
This year I am hoping to do something with my life something I vowed when my Dad passed on. I don't know what I'll do looking at the music scene atm I play no instruments (although I have a lovely acoustic guitar) and have no musical training but I have rhythm and I can sing pretty much whatever I want vocally. But that would only work if I stay stable as with most things.
I will also continue to look for love. I would like to meet someone but I am a nice guy (you wouldn't like me when I am angry) which fails with a lot of women as they want bad boys or "cunts" as they are referred to locally. I will never describe myself by that horrible world, anyway I think its funny as to quote Vinnie when a friend called him a cunt "Thank you Rich, a cunt, what soft, moist and yielding" which runs through my head every time the guys say they are a cunt to sound edgy. If you going to call yourself anything at least be a Bastard it can be said 2 ways and sounds so much better. Well one of these days I'll find someone who wants to spend time with me and accept me for me warts and all and be strong enough to be with me and be in the similar place life-wise that its not all partying I don't ask for much lol
Well congratulations if you read this far again I wish you a happy New Year and hope this year is everything you wish for.
Alan