I don't know where I've been but I have all the scrapes and bruises to prove it. Jarrod and I have been spending money like crazy on actual stuff we need(for a change).
I have a downright passionate hate for christmas now. I've decided to not even bother with the whole fucking idea. I am not sure but I think I dislike my in-laws more than christmas. I am invalid.
I keep freaking out and losing control. I am going to see the doctor next week but I am not sure what to do until then. I almost broke my hand today, on purpose. Its all black and swollen now, which is making life pleasently uncomfortable.
Jarrod and I are having a dinner party this weekend. I am really not looking forward to it anymore. I am making Grasshopper Pie, I am looking forward to grasshopper pie.
I went and had a diabetes test today, everyone kept going on and on about how gross the gloucose drink was. It basically was orange pop, not that bad. The only annoying thing was the stupid nurse people ignored me for a fucking hour. They wouldn't even try to pronounce my name or approach me to ask if it was me. They wondered around asking everyone else if they were me until I finally go to so fed up I went up to the counter again. And they were all ditzy like we were looking for you tee hee. I was like I've been here the whole fucking time. (funny tho was I went up there they started calling me Naticka, which is totally how not to pronounce my name) I forgot about small town ummmm mentality. I forgot about being stared at and/or ignored by people. And all the shitty service just because my look doesn't come from cheap salons and costco clothing, I guess.
Its so stupid the biggest relief I've been getting lately is from playing Diablo, its so mind numbing. So wonderfully mind numbing.
O god first christmas party of the season this sunday
happy day moment, I got a hair dryer for my birthday from my dad today. I really wanted the sims...cause its like real life but its not real life, yep.
constant thought, losing control, it seems like forever since I was happy
I should stop typing and put my more ice on my hands.
Margaret bought me 2 packages of out favorite fizzle candy. Theya re bigger than the ones here. I packed one away to give to you as part of a non-christmas present if I see you this month. Hopefully the fizzle wont upset your belly, but, I think it will be ok. Well, I have test I am not prepared for.
Luv Luvs...xoxox~A