I GOT BIRTHDAY CAKE!!! And I didn't have to make it myself, so its sweet and looks pretty. Thanks sweetie 
Which also adds to my dismay of having absolutely nothing to wear and more temper tantrums. Yep, I packed away all my clothes today. I am left with weird random kindof fitting clothes. Actually I should get going to sew some pants. It's fucking cold out.
Jarrod took me to see the eclipse but only after he finished the level he was on in Diablo. So we saw the end of it. I didn't really mind though, I really like night driving or more of being a passanger at night.
We get to move in a week and try to hide our wormy cats from our new landlord. I am worried about being evicted but, Nanaimo is filled shitholes so I lied about having pets or more didn't bother to mention it. We paid for the full month of November for our current place and new place. A big source of stress and why I keep staying up for days. I've accepted that we have to pay twice what we normally pay this month, but it hurts. Then I am reminded of my condition and that I can't work and that my job fired me cause I missed two weeks from morning sickness.
I have to return my uniform, I really hate that place and I don't want to go there. But they still owe me some vacation pay, I'll just pretend I am in a happy place and hopefully Jarrod can restrain me enough from trying to strangle the manager.
I am almost done packing, it's weird it took very little time. So far like three or so hours and I am down to the kitchen. I expect something to go wrong cause it's just been way too easy. Well I do have to try to cram some big peices of furniture in my car.
But Jarrod's dad is hopeful that we can move everything in one truckload, and that just ain't happening. And our rental agreement says we have to be out by 1 pm of the last day. But I figure if we are paying until the 30th, I am giving myself until the 30th.
so much boring stuff to talk about.
I don't believe in Jesus at all.
I like room temperature drinks.
I talk alot to my cats.
I have a strong desire to hurt myself all the time.
I can play video games for an entire day and night. And I don't see anything wrong with that.
I go pee an average of once an hour.
I wear size 8/9 shoes, I own a lot of shoes, if I could I would buy more shoes.
I don't pick my friends or enemies very well, sometimes I think my enemies are better friends than my friends.
I talk nonstop for long periods of time or I don't say anything at all for days.
I don't think is much more intresting at all.
Which also adds to my dismay of having absolutely nothing to wear and more temper tantrums. Yep, I packed away all my clothes today. I am left with weird random kindof fitting clothes. Actually I should get going to sew some pants. It's fucking cold out.
Jarrod took me to see the eclipse but only after he finished the level he was on in Diablo. So we saw the end of it. I didn't really mind though, I really like night driving or more of being a passanger at night.
We get to move in a week and try to hide our wormy cats from our new landlord. I am worried about being evicted but, Nanaimo is filled shitholes so I lied about having pets or more didn't bother to mention it. We paid for the full month of November for our current place and new place. A big source of stress and why I keep staying up for days. I've accepted that we have to pay twice what we normally pay this month, but it hurts. Then I am reminded of my condition and that I can't work and that my job fired me cause I missed two weeks from morning sickness.
I have to return my uniform, I really hate that place and I don't want to go there. But they still owe me some vacation pay, I'll just pretend I am in a happy place and hopefully Jarrod can restrain me enough from trying to strangle the manager.
I am almost done packing, it's weird it took very little time. So far like three or so hours and I am down to the kitchen. I expect something to go wrong cause it's just been way too easy. Well I do have to try to cram some big peices of furniture in my car.
But Jarrod's dad is hopeful that we can move everything in one truckload, and that just ain't happening. And our rental agreement says we have to be out by 1 pm of the last day. But I figure if we are paying until the 30th, I am giving myself until the 30th.
so much boring stuff to talk about.
I don't believe in Jesus at all.
I like room temperature drinks.
I talk alot to my cats.
I have a strong desire to hurt myself all the time.
I can play video games for an entire day and night. And I don't see anything wrong with that.
I go pee an average of once an hour.
I wear size 8/9 shoes, I own a lot of shoes, if I could I would buy more shoes.
I don't pick my friends or enemies very well, sometimes I think my enemies are better friends than my friends.
I talk nonstop for long periods of time or I don't say anything at all for days.
I don't think is much more intresting at all.
Well.
Honestly you are the only other person that I care about as much as myself. And yes obviously it is out of habit and more a far stretch even...
I DO care about you. I care about how you feel, what goes on in your life, how you are feeling. But how am I supposed to really express that when you make no effort to contact me. I can only do somuch. Both of us have things going on in our lives and you may say yours is more important, but I say they are both weighted equal in very different ways. No, I cant understand whats its like to have a marriage or a husband or a baby...Im not there at all. and once, I tried to understand and you knocked me aside. So, what can I do?
Ive let you know over and over..If there is anything I can do...ask me. Ill do it. Ill be there.
It isnt that I dont care..that is far from the truth. But you know how I work..youve known me almost 7 years...we operate differently. Now I guess its just a matter if you want that still. If you want me to be there, to offer myself, or if youd rather extinguish all but a few of your relations with people and start over by yourself in your new world thats approaching. Honestly it is up to you. Ive sat by when you didnt speak to me for months and months, but Id rather know 100% where you are, because those months were torture and NOW the situation is entirely different.
I dont know how you are feeling because you dont tell me. And when you you a little..you make me feel below you be suggesting I am irrelivent and in the way...really.
Ack. So. Well. thats all for now I guess. So much is going on right now.
I know that you will probably take these words and think they are meaningless and stupid and such. But I dont care really. Ive said them. I mean them.Take them how you will. At this point Im totally numb to most anything and I cant really function efficiently in this world. This would just be the "creme" of sorts. Nothing would surprise me..It seems that no matter what I say here or any other time..you wont like what I have to say. You never do. Youve never liked anything Ive ever done or said. any idea Ive brought forth any mattter Ive brought up, and feelings Ive opened(which are true..I never lie) youve never liked/agreed with. I dont expect this to be any different. But this isnt about me. It is about you. and so you know where I stand.
I love you.
xo, A
I just moved, too, and it took me two days of solid packing to be done. Ugh. I hate packing like that. Hope it all stays easy for you!