akiva

"Sadness is for poor people"

I have a pair of tests today and a pair of presentations. The presentations are for my thesis, one to each of my advisors. The tests are for American government and Arabic. Over the past few weeks, my work habits have changed, such that I don't feel nearly as much pressure and I'm much more confident when I go to class. It used to be that I would come home, heat up some left overs, pour a glass of wine and fuck around for a few hours till I got tired and went to sleep. Since I started therapy, I've taken an inventory of my life and, surprise, surprise, found that things that make me superficially happy (e.g. watching porn, surfing the net, chatting online), don't make me happy in the long run. Since I'm not prepared for classes, I end up doing my work right before class starts, so I never understand the lesson and feel like a jackass for not knowing anything. Over the past week, that's all changed. I go home and do my work, see my profs in their office hours for questions, and know what's going on in class. Thus, I feel less stress than I normally would. It's a bit silly that it took me so long to figure this out, but some people go through their whole lives never understanding why they're unhappy.