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akisame

Nottingham

Member Since 2011

Followers 2 Following 4

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Wednesday Dec 28, 2011

Dec 27, 2011
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What the hell am i doing?

I'm almost finished with the most ridiculous freelance project ever, and while it will give me a nice big lump of cash, which obviously I'v already spent, most of the fucking thing is going to be land-filled by the middle of next year! Serious vanity project I'v signed myself up to help finish. The camera studio time is good, learnign the 'blads again after such a long time away is great, also working on my mat painting skills is good, the photography needs sky putting in etc. I detest making text corrections, for serious theres a switch from red pen to green by the editior because she ran out of red. It needs to be all finished by New year.

My two nieces were over yesterday, I'm not sure who was more shy me or them. I'm so uncomfortable around new people, I guess iv never felt happy in my own skin. Its one of those things they tell you not to worry about, 'you're just a bit shy, so what?' So it's never gone away. I'v tried to move it, but it wont go.

Examining the high points of my life, when i'v felt unstoppable, I see that these times were also when I didn't care what other people thought, I didn't feel a need for anyone or anything aside from to be making cool stuffs our just making myself better.

I see this whole SG thing as a step towards that, its all 'bout finding beauty in the places and ways most folks do not. So i'm here, what? trying to learn how to be different and happy with it? Most of the time I identify myself with how I don't fit into the current situation or my surroundings. How awkward do i feel in this particular situation? Usually very.

I suspect this is a be happy with yourself and the rest will l sort its self out thing. Iv dug out a Moleskin to work in, Im thinking typographic exploded narrative posters.

Less sulking more creating. I'm off for a quick bath before I go meet a friend for coffee.

Love and Biscuits

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