akiramai

WARNING - MAY BE TRIGGERING

Hey guys,

Tonight I wanted to write a blog post very close to my heart. About something that is unfortunately very prevalent in the world. Something that is a REAL issue, that we have to stop. After reading a few posts about “me too” (for those of you who don’t have access to much social media, this was the tweet that started it: "If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”)

The amount of women I have seen post “me too” in the past few weeks has ripped my heart out of my chest. Not only did it hurt to realise how many women in my life have been sexually assaulted, but how many women didn’t have the confidence to stand up or speak out until now; Silenced by their abuser or others who have victim blamed. Don’t get me wrong, sexual assault and harassment happens to men too, and the LGBTI community.

Every story and “me too” status I read, brought me back to the memories of sexual harassment and abuse in my own life. As much as it nearly brought me to tears realising that close friends and family members had experienced similar abuse to myself, I was not surprised - and that sucks.

I wasn’t surprised because I’ve had it happen to me before. I wasn’t surprised because I’ve got old friends who would laugh about these kind of things. I wasn’t surprised because in high school, girls would be sexually assaulted and made to feel like it was their own fault, by the boys.

I wasn’t surprised because I’ve overheard “locker room talk” that’s so prevalent in rape culture. I wasn’t surprised because I’ve heard the jokes some boys make, and laugh at you when you get offended by it.

We need to put an end to rape culture and misogyny now. We can’t keep putting it off.

This is a really important video that explains why this is not a “womens issue”. How did violence against women get turned into an issue that we, as women, are seen responsible for addressing? Why don’t men also feel responsible for addressing it?

Here are some things we can do RIGHT NOW, to help to stop rape culture and misogyny.

Teach your children about consent, especially young boys.

Education and being upfront with children is such a key point in improving this! Teach girls how to say no, and boys to understand what is consent and what isn’t consent. Stop telling little girls that boys who hurt them are actually showing them that they like them.

Call out problems in our media!

This includes rape jokes, song lyrics, and anything else that plays into our society’s rape culture.

Stop slut shaming and victim blaming.

I read one status this week, where a woman herself, called other woman attention seeking for publicising their sexual abuse by writing “me too”.

It’s too common for survivors of rape to be accused of “asking for it”

Stop catcalling

Seriously, nobody likes it and it certainly isn’t a compliment.

Stop normalising rape culture and sexual violence.

Stop trying to say it’s okay. It’s not okay. I’ve been assaulted before and had people belittle my experience and normalise it because (it’s happened to so many people) , (boys will be boys) , (he’s just a boy)

Stop shaming women who don’t report assault immediately after it happens.

Even if they don’t speak up for years, it doesn’t make their experience any less real.

Stop excusing predators, and don’t just stand by.

We need to start calling this shit out. No excuses.

Challenge conventional definitions of masculinity.

Challenge common misconceptions that assault is caused by “uncontrollable” male urges. Object to notions of masculinity that frame sexual aggression as a strong or admirable quality for men to strive forward.

We unfortunately live in a society that tells women “don’t get raped” instead of telling men not to rape. Let’s get the conversation going. We need to stop pretending like this doesn’t happen to people everyday. We need to stop being quiet, lets talk to our friends and family about consent.

All my love,

Akiramai

x

@missy @rambo