What does it actually mean to be an “adult”? I think that every single person will interpret this differently. I used to think that one day you’d just wake up and know, but it’s never that easy.
When you’re a child, there are all these guidelines laid out almost faultlessly for you, milestones when you’re ‘supposed’ to achieve certain things i.e. Learning to walk, Learning to drive at 16, Being able to drink when you’re 18 or 21, but what happens after that? and what really shapes us and defines us into an ‘adult'?
I’m sure many of you woke up on your 18th or 21st birthday to realise, that really, you didn’t feel any different to the day before or even the year before.
I think people transition into adults when their maturity grows, and when you solely rely on yourself. Unfortunately, I know for myself and many others that adulthood came early - especially with a difficult home life and realising you have to take care of yourself.
This does not mean that just because you’re an ‘adult’ now, that you can’t lean on other people or ask for a helping hand, I think it just means that you don’t rely on anyone else to sort your life out.
I guess beyond my psychological transition into adulthood, I noticed it most when you have to get a job and start supporting yourself. Suddenly you have bills and you can’t rely on your parents to clean up your mess, but I guess its more of a social construct, and it certainly determines who is legally eligible for their actions or not.
I think another identifying hurdle into adulthood for me was realising that my parents, are real, grown up… people?
I know it might sound strange but I feel like I realised I really was an adult when I realised that my parents were real human adults, too.
There is this sort of innocence when you’re a child, where you think your parents are always going to be invincible, but I guess when you reach adulthood you realise just how precious life is. Don’t get me wrong, my mum and dad will always be “mum" and “dad”, but they are also real people with real feelings, real struggles, hurdles, heartbreaks, successes and illnesses, just like ourselves. It’s that moment when they confide in you about their job or their struggling social life. It’s visiting them in hospital and realising that they won’t last forever, and it’s giving back to them. For me, it was even something as small as buying them dinner when they are struggling with money. (I’m sure thats the least I could do with all of my crazy teenage antics they’ve put up with over the years.)
For some people to see their parents as human - It comes easy, and almost natural, but for others it can even present itself in the cruelest way - having to be an adult too early. (wether you don’t have a primary caregiver, or you have sick parents and siblings to look after)
So what is the turning point for you in becoming an adult? is it age? is it knowledge? responsibility? independence? is it something else? I know a lot of kids that could triumph the intelligence of a particularly dull person approaching middle age, but does that make them more of an ‘adult’ than yourself?
Thank you @rambo and @missy
I really enjoyed this blog homework!
Lots of love,
Akiramai x
