ok first off
what the fuck are they doing to the layout
grrrrrrrr
for those of you whom are wondering what the rain was about
SPOILERS! (Click to view)i have a very small family
spread out all over europe
and as small as it is there still are family members i dont want anything to do with
then you have the family members that i would walk through fire and kill for
my mommy is one of those few people in my life
my mommy called me yesterday to tell me that hse had a "small" heartattack THURSDAY
i couldnt even be any good cause i just started crying and im on the other side of the world
i asked mom why didnt you call earlier or made my dad call me
her replye killed me
she knew it was robs birthday and didnt want to ruin the day
im crying as im writing this i cant even talk about it without friggin breaking apart
i do not know what i would do if something happened to my mommy
i really dont
it killed me that i couldnt be there in the hospital when she had the surgery
they did the balloon thing through her groind and then balloned up three of the heart vessels
at least that is what my mommy explained to me
i am so mad at life
ive busted my ass for at least 21 years
i started working at 13
i had major losses in my life
i was outcast as a teenager
and im pissed now
i watch all this idiots all these crackheads all these criminals
and i dont see anything horrible ever happening to them
im not a emo person
i am a positive strong and very impulsive person
im starting to wonder when life is gonna stop fucking with me and my life
i am just angry
and i am so fucking sad when bad shit happens to great people
btw
they say my mommy is going to be ok
she has to stop smoking
i told her id stop with her
life is so fucked up right now that sometimes i feel like i dont even want it cause god knows its never good things that come in three
first my foot
and that was done to mess with my head my independence my physical apperance
now my mommy
i am going to pull a falling down sequel if anything happens to my mommy
ok that is the rain in my life
and to all you guys whom offered me umbrellas or words of encouragment
THANK YOU
ive typed it so much
but its pretty wierd how somebody i dont know in person can read about what is going on in my life and offer me support
really THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart
love you guys
i was all down and upset and there is nothing like puppielove
this has to be the absolutely ugliest parafinelia (didnt know how to spell it)
help me with colorideas for my hair
and yes there is something good in my life
his name is rob
and sometimes i think life makes us encounter alot of assholes
because it has somebody special in mind for us
so this is for you
Rober M Levering
I love you beyong words
You know what? I see junkies and crackheads all the time and I think about how they just have a billion kids that they can't care for right and nothing bad happens to people they love how I can't have 1 kid and be a good mum to them.
I guess thats one of the things that totally blows about life these days..
*rubs your foot*