I'm sorry, i suck at words lately......not in a slurping noodles sense of the word suck, but that did just come to mind......i have been so bad at using words lately that things like "suck" are stuck at the forefront of my vocabulary. That makes me angry at myself.
I also feel sort of shut in, emotionally. I'm not sure what wants to get out. The other day i felt like i was going to cry at work because someone tossed out my hot chocolate. I'm not PMSing and i don't know why i feel emotionally tender right now, but....i do. I've been a bit snippy and overreactive with Greg lately too, although i am not sure he has noted that.....*sigh* he probably has.....sorry my love.
I am stressed......in mind and body. I am all sore and tense and i could really use a masseuse which just isn't going to happen. Maybe i will hit up Greg for a back popping and a massage, if he's willing.
Honeslty, i am still upset at the whole friend conflict issue i talked about before. I had a long talk with Greg about it, and i feel better about things, but not perfect. And i am talking to the other friend in question again, but i still haven't been able to formulate my thought enough to write him a letter. I'm sorry i can't explain this better online. I want to talk about it but it feels sort of weird, like i should leave some things private. But i want support from impartial parties at the same time. My friend Riddle did talk to me about it, which helped my thought processes on the matter muchly. I am going to write a letter to clarify myself to the friend. However, i think i will end up starting and giving up on said letter at a few more times before i can deliver it.
I have been stressed about Kristana moving in, not because i am worried about her in the least, but things are not put away or cleaned as well as i would have liked at all. I am super slow at organizing things. Greg and i are such horrible pack rats. I suppose i will be one of those ladies who has magazines piled to the cieling by the time i die. Actually, i hope i can get over this affliction. I just tend to squirrel things away incase i can use them for future projects, like fabric, clothing, art stuff, etc. And i tend to be aesthetically geared in my head, so i am one of those "Oooh look pretty" people who picks up all manner of crap from garage sales and then doesn't know where to put it. Non-existant God help me.
Ok, if you have made it this far in my journal post, then i love you.
I have been out taking lots of photographs lately. Many bad pictures of myself and some good ones (ha ha you don't get to know what most of the bad ones look like). If i look good in the pictures you see, just remember, its only a fraction of the time.
Actually, i think i just tend to make recockulous faces when i am photographing myself most of the time.
Ohhhhhkaaaay now PIK-TARRS!
]
WHOOO dats a lotta PICK-CHORRS!!!
Um, no, I am not a Pict Whore. I am only part Scottish.
I don't know what is with me today. Anyway, i also though i would answer this survey thing i've seen spreading around faster than the common cold. Here it is......its long.......i warned you....okay.
1. First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Wall, i think.
2. Last person you kissed: Greg.
3. Last words you said: "Come over again soon" or something like that to mister Trustpixellust.
4. Last song you sang: "a pair of brown eyes" by the Pogues
5. Last person you hugged: Trustpixellust
6. Last thing you laughed at: somethingpositive.net
8. What's in your CD player: Medieval Baebes tight now.
9. What socks are you wearing: dark heathered grey wool.
10. What's under your bed: ugly carpet
11. Current status: tired, anxious, slightly pervy
12. Current taste: empty mouth flavor
13. Current hair style: my hair is frizzy and loose right now. Black at the bottom, orange in the middle, and an inch or two of my natural brown roots.
14. Current clothes: Baggy dark blue jeans, tshirt from tshirthell.com that reads "Anthrax, the other white powder, tight fitting pinstripe quartersleeve blazer coat.
15. Current Job: Cahier / Float
16. Current longing: To move to Portland, to get a better job, to go back to school, to continue to have lots of sex preferably soonish.
17. Current desktop picture: a neat face with braches coming out of the head by Cam De Leon.
18. Current worry: That i'll end up living in this town forever / that i'll get fired.
19. Current hate: Anti abortion laws.....Grrrrrrr.
20. Story behind your username: last half of my actual name.
21. Current favorite article of clothing: tshirt that says "this is my dinosaur shirt" with little pictures of dinosaurs on it.
22. Favorite physical feature(s) of the opposite sex: Eyes, longish hair, strong facial features, slightness of frame (i.e. skinny guys), lips, smile, feet, and obviously some cock too.
23. Last CD that you bought: Jaco Pastorius (s/t)
24. Favorite place to be: In my head
25. Least favorite place: In my head
26. Time you wake up in the morning: Unfortunately it seems like i am averaging around 8 even though i don't need to wake up that early.
27. If you could play a new instrument: Violin, theramin, banjo, keyboard (piano), or accordion
29. Current favorite word/saying: Gosh!
30. Favorite book: American Gods - Neil Gaiman
31. Favorite Movie: this is too hard.
32. Favorite Song: also toooooo harrrrdddd
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: not really anyone.....i am not too nostalgic usually. It is futile!!!
35. Favorite day: Halloween
36. Where do you want to go: LOTS of places....Holland, Germany, Bretagne, Japan, Switzerland, Scotland, etc etc etc.......also in the states New Orleans, New York, Montana...etc etc etc.....
37. What is your career going to be: finding a way to live.
39. What kind of car will you have: i don't have plans for this yet. I could get excited about a hearse though.
41. A random lyric:
"Monday rowing,
Tuesday badmitton,
Dancing on a Friday night.
I got ping pong on Wednesday,
Needlework on Thursday,
Dancing on a Friday night,
With you......"
-The Darkness
I don't know i just think it is funny.
42. Eye Color: greenish-blueish-greyish.
43. Hair Color: black at the tips, orange at the middle, natural brown on the roots.
44. Righty or Lefty: Righty-o!
45. Zodiac Sign: I don't believe in this stuff, at all, but if you want to know then figure it out from my birthdate. I couldn't care less about horoscopes.
46.Innie or Outtie: innie
DESCRIBE...
47. Your heritage: Almost a 1/2 Dutch, some German, and on my moms side pure mutt!
48. The shoes you wore today: cheap brown airwalks.
49. Your hair: ok enough with the hair questions!!!
50. Your weakness: Ice cream (lately anyhoo), my hot skniiy Gregster.
51. Your fears: injections / having blood taken, eye exams, etc.....
52. Your dream: be self employed / not have to work.
53. Your most recent secret? ask me over email and maybe i'll tell you!
54. Your thoughts first waking up: Why do i keep waking up so early / gotta pee / Greg smells good....
55. The first feature you notice in the (your prefference here) sex: face / eyes
56. Your bedtime: read me a story first!!!
57. Your most missed companion: maybe Elizabeth
58. Your perfect pizza: kalamata olives, feta cheese, artichoke hearts, pesto, roasted garlic, roasted red peppers, and lots of parmesan and spices on top
59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: Can't i have it all at the same time?!?! No.....thats disgusting.
60. Single or group dates: beyotchez hangin all over me.
61. Dogs or Cats: cats and rats
62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither, wht the hell....
63. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate with chocolate chips in it.
64. Cappuccino or coffee?: neither....black teas.
DO YOU...
65. Smoke: Not since highschool
66. Curse: sometimes
67. Sing: Badly
68. Take a shower everyday: In the summer
69. Have a crush: Yes......
71. Think you've been in love: Uh, i KNOW it, bitch!
72. Want to go to college: i don't know what i want to major in anymore, but yes, i should go to school again.
73. Want more than what you' got: depends on what you are talking about here.
74. Want to get married: It isn't my goal in life. But if it seemed like the right person and right time, i would not be averse to the idea......i am too young though (i will probably continue to think this until i am 30).
75. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: uhhhhh......no (i'm sorry)
76. Think you're attractive: I think i am but then again i wouldn't want to have sex with myself.
77. Think you're a health freak: nope, no, not really....
78. Get along with your parents: yes.
79. Play an instrument: sadly no....
IN THE PAST 3 months:
80. drink: maybe twice.
81. Smoke:no
82. Done a drug: besides birth control, ibuprofin, and alcohol? No
83. Made Out: oh god yes many a time.
84. Go on a date: The Gory took me to go see Sin City....it was awesome!
85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: uhhhhh, no. That is disgusting.
86. Eaten sushi: uhh.....? No, i guess not. Sad....
87. Been dumped: No.
88. Made homemade cookies: no
89. Been in love: And continue to be so.
90. Gone skinny dipping: Heh heh heh no but that sounds fun.
91. Dyed your hair: No
92. Stolen anything: no
HAVE YOU EVER..
93. Had too much to drink: Yeah......grimace. Lets not talk about that.
94. Been caught cheating: Never have cheated.
95. Been called a tease: no
96. Gotten beaten up: Only emotionally. Girls are more into that than the physical stuff, for the most part.
97. Changed who you were to fit in: Back in middleschool, yeah, and then reactionarily went "goth".
98. Cried at something beautiful: I am a cheezball, so yeah, all the time....
99. Spent too much money on something you didnt need? Is $3.00 for a ceramic squirrel too much?
100. Cried when someone died: Yeah.
Okay, that was a really unecesarily long journal entry. congrats though, it is over! HALLELUJA!!!
I also feel sort of shut in, emotionally. I'm not sure what wants to get out. The other day i felt like i was going to cry at work because someone tossed out my hot chocolate. I'm not PMSing and i don't know why i feel emotionally tender right now, but....i do. I've been a bit snippy and overreactive with Greg lately too, although i am not sure he has noted that.....*sigh* he probably has.....sorry my love.
I am stressed......in mind and body. I am all sore and tense and i could really use a masseuse which just isn't going to happen. Maybe i will hit up Greg for a back popping and a massage, if he's willing.
Honeslty, i am still upset at the whole friend conflict issue i talked about before. I had a long talk with Greg about it, and i feel better about things, but not perfect. And i am talking to the other friend in question again, but i still haven't been able to formulate my thought enough to write him a letter. I'm sorry i can't explain this better online. I want to talk about it but it feels sort of weird, like i should leave some things private. But i want support from impartial parties at the same time. My friend Riddle did talk to me about it, which helped my thought processes on the matter muchly. I am going to write a letter to clarify myself to the friend. However, i think i will end up starting and giving up on said letter at a few more times before i can deliver it.
I have been stressed about Kristana moving in, not because i am worried about her in the least, but things are not put away or cleaned as well as i would have liked at all. I am super slow at organizing things. Greg and i are such horrible pack rats. I suppose i will be one of those ladies who has magazines piled to the cieling by the time i die. Actually, i hope i can get over this affliction. I just tend to squirrel things away incase i can use them for future projects, like fabric, clothing, art stuff, etc. And i tend to be aesthetically geared in my head, so i am one of those "Oooh look pretty" people who picks up all manner of crap from garage sales and then doesn't know where to put it. Non-existant God help me.
Ok, if you have made it this far in my journal post, then i love you.
I have been out taking lots of photographs lately. Many bad pictures of myself and some good ones (ha ha you don't get to know what most of the bad ones look like). If i look good in the pictures you see, just remember, its only a fraction of the time.
Actually, i think i just tend to make recockulous faces when i am photographing myself most of the time.
Ohhhhhkaaaay now PIK-TARRS!
]
WHOOO dats a lotta PICK-CHORRS!!!
Um, no, I am not a Pict Whore. I am only part Scottish.
I don't know what is with me today. Anyway, i also though i would answer this survey thing i've seen spreading around faster than the common cold. Here it is......its long.......i warned you....okay.
1. First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Wall, i think.
2. Last person you kissed: Greg.
3. Last words you said: "Come over again soon" or something like that to mister Trustpixellust.
4. Last song you sang: "a pair of brown eyes" by the Pogues
5. Last person you hugged: Trustpixellust
6. Last thing you laughed at: somethingpositive.net
8. What's in your CD player: Medieval Baebes tight now.
9. What socks are you wearing: dark heathered grey wool.
10. What's under your bed: ugly carpet
11. Current status: tired, anxious, slightly pervy
12. Current taste: empty mouth flavor
13. Current hair style: my hair is frizzy and loose right now. Black at the bottom, orange in the middle, and an inch or two of my natural brown roots.
14. Current clothes: Baggy dark blue jeans, tshirt from tshirthell.com that reads "Anthrax, the other white powder, tight fitting pinstripe quartersleeve blazer coat.
15. Current Job: Cahier / Float
16. Current longing: To move to Portland, to get a better job, to go back to school, to continue to have lots of sex preferably soonish.
17. Current desktop picture: a neat face with braches coming out of the head by Cam De Leon.
18. Current worry: That i'll end up living in this town forever / that i'll get fired.
19. Current hate: Anti abortion laws.....Grrrrrrr.
20. Story behind your username: last half of my actual name.
21. Current favorite article of clothing: tshirt that says "this is my dinosaur shirt" with little pictures of dinosaurs on it.
22. Favorite physical feature(s) of the opposite sex: Eyes, longish hair, strong facial features, slightness of frame (i.e. skinny guys), lips, smile, feet, and obviously some cock too.
23. Last CD that you bought: Jaco Pastorius (s/t)
24. Favorite place to be: In my head
25. Least favorite place: In my head
26. Time you wake up in the morning: Unfortunately it seems like i am averaging around 8 even though i don't need to wake up that early.
27. If you could play a new instrument: Violin, theramin, banjo, keyboard (piano), or accordion
29. Current favorite word/saying: Gosh!
30. Favorite book: American Gods - Neil Gaiman
31. Favorite Movie: this is too hard.
32. Favorite Song: also toooooo harrrrdddd
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: not really anyone.....i am not too nostalgic usually. It is futile!!!
35. Favorite day: Halloween
36. Where do you want to go: LOTS of places....Holland, Germany, Bretagne, Japan, Switzerland, Scotland, etc etc etc.......also in the states New Orleans, New York, Montana...etc etc etc.....
37. What is your career going to be: finding a way to live.
39. What kind of car will you have: i don't have plans for this yet. I could get excited about a hearse though.
41. A random lyric:
"Monday rowing,
Tuesday badmitton,
Dancing on a Friday night.
I got ping pong on Wednesday,
Needlework on Thursday,
Dancing on a Friday night,
With you......"
-The Darkness
I don't know i just think it is funny.
42. Eye Color: greenish-blueish-greyish.
43. Hair Color: black at the tips, orange at the middle, natural brown on the roots.
44. Righty or Lefty: Righty-o!
45. Zodiac Sign: I don't believe in this stuff, at all, but if you want to know then figure it out from my birthdate. I couldn't care less about horoscopes.
46.Innie or Outtie: innie
DESCRIBE...
47. Your heritage: Almost a 1/2 Dutch, some German, and on my moms side pure mutt!
48. The shoes you wore today: cheap brown airwalks.
49. Your hair: ok enough with the hair questions!!!
50. Your weakness: Ice cream (lately anyhoo), my hot skniiy Gregster.
51. Your fears: injections / having blood taken, eye exams, etc.....
52. Your dream: be self employed / not have to work.
53. Your most recent secret? ask me over email and maybe i'll tell you!
54. Your thoughts first waking up: Why do i keep waking up so early / gotta pee / Greg smells good....
55. The first feature you notice in the (your prefference here) sex: face / eyes
56. Your bedtime: read me a story first!!!
57. Your most missed companion: maybe Elizabeth
58. Your perfect pizza: kalamata olives, feta cheese, artichoke hearts, pesto, roasted garlic, roasted red peppers, and lots of parmesan and spices on top
59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: Can't i have it all at the same time?!?! No.....thats disgusting.
60. Single or group dates: beyotchez hangin all over me.
61. Dogs or Cats: cats and rats
62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither, wht the hell....
63. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate with chocolate chips in it.
64. Cappuccino or coffee?: neither....black teas.
DO YOU...
65. Smoke: Not since highschool
66. Curse: sometimes
67. Sing: Badly
68. Take a shower everyday: In the summer
69. Have a crush: Yes......
71. Think you've been in love: Uh, i KNOW it, bitch!
72. Want to go to college: i don't know what i want to major in anymore, but yes, i should go to school again.
73. Want more than what you' got: depends on what you are talking about here.
74. Want to get married: It isn't my goal in life. But if it seemed like the right person and right time, i would not be averse to the idea......i am too young though (i will probably continue to think this until i am 30).
75. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: uhhhhh......no (i'm sorry)
76. Think you're attractive: I think i am but then again i wouldn't want to have sex with myself.
77. Think you're a health freak: nope, no, not really....
78. Get along with your parents: yes.
79. Play an instrument: sadly no....
IN THE PAST 3 months:
80. drink: maybe twice.
81. Smoke:no
82. Done a drug: besides birth control, ibuprofin, and alcohol? No
83. Made Out: oh god yes many a time.
84. Go on a date: The Gory took me to go see Sin City....it was awesome!
85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: uhhhhh, no. That is disgusting.
86. Eaten sushi: uhh.....? No, i guess not. Sad....
87. Been dumped: No.
88. Made homemade cookies: no
89. Been in love: And continue to be so.
90. Gone skinny dipping: Heh heh heh no but that sounds fun.
91. Dyed your hair: No
92. Stolen anything: no
HAVE YOU EVER..
93. Had too much to drink: Yeah......grimace. Lets not talk about that.
94. Been caught cheating: Never have cheated.
95. Been called a tease: no
96. Gotten beaten up: Only emotionally. Girls are more into that than the physical stuff, for the most part.
97. Changed who you were to fit in: Back in middleschool, yeah, and then reactionarily went "goth".
98. Cried at something beautiful: I am a cheezball, so yeah, all the time....
99. Spent too much money on something you didnt need? Is $3.00 for a ceramic squirrel too much?
100. Cried when someone died: Yeah.
Okay, that was a really unecesarily long journal entry. congrats though, it is over! HALLELUJA!!!
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
mallory:
cute photos dearie!
ktsmurf:
I love you and will see you at work tomorrow!