I love a long nap after a beautiful weekend.
That said, someone has come back into my life and I am not sure what I am feeling anymore.
I care deeply for him, but also remember the way I was hurt by him. I cannot get it out of my head long enough to really look at whether or not I can make something work with him.
I hate that he tends to shut down when things go awry in his life and he literally makes himself unreachable. I cannot go through that again. If we are together, I cannot handle being shut out of his life if he has issues.
There is a lot of distance between us and that poses a problem too. I do not trust that given the physical distance, I am going to be the only one in his life. Back when we were together before, we were living a lot closer to one another and I found (after suspecting something for a while) that I was not his one and only.
Now, that thought resonates in my head when I think about trying to start something serious with him again. When I found out that there was another in his life, that made me feel completely inadequate. I know that I am not, but the insecurity that occurred still plagues me from time to time.
I just do not know that I can give him my heart again. I am afraid that the pieces missing will never be replaced.
.......
I don't know what to do.
That said, someone has come back into my life and I am not sure what I am feeling anymore.
I care deeply for him, but also remember the way I was hurt by him. I cannot get it out of my head long enough to really look at whether or not I can make something work with him.
I hate that he tends to shut down when things go awry in his life and he literally makes himself unreachable. I cannot go through that again. If we are together, I cannot handle being shut out of his life if he has issues.
There is a lot of distance between us and that poses a problem too. I do not trust that given the physical distance, I am going to be the only one in his life. Back when we were together before, we were living a lot closer to one another and I found (after suspecting something for a while) that I was not his one and only.
Now, that thought resonates in my head when I think about trying to start something serious with him again. When I found out that there was another in his life, that made me feel completely inadequate. I know that I am not, but the insecurity that occurred still plagues me from time to time.
I just do not know that I can give him my heart again. I am afraid that the pieces missing will never be replaced.
.......
I don't know what to do.
..........................I cannot go through that again...................