Lots of things are happening, and I'm a busy girl. I was home for a little while - less than two weeks - just enough time to catch my breath. Then I went off on this family trip to Mississippi to see relatives I'd never even met. One day between that and flying out again. Now I'm in New Jersey, starting my internship in NYC tomorrow.
I have lots of worries about money and scholarships, etc. School, as useless at it is, costs SOOO much. I'll be in debt for a long, long time. I say it's useless, I don't know. A degree will help me get jobs verses having NO degree............stress is making me feel a little hopeless at times, that's all.
On the upside, my screenwriting professor gave me great feedback on my script. He really brightens students' days with glowing reviews. He was specific, though, which makes me believe whath e said and makes me feel good about my work.
The real downside to my current state is this: I keep thinking about my ex, even though he broke up with me in September. He was pushed out of my mind pretty well for a few months, but now I keep starting to think about him and having to stop myself. That would work if only I wasn't dreaming about him, too. I can't control it when I'm asleep. = ( I really love him, and deep down I still believe that with some maturing, we belong together. It's lame, I know. My friends will roll their eyes.
It hurts that he's on the other side of the world, with this new life, and I know he doesn't miss me. I'm sure I never even cross his mind. He has no desire to know what I'm doing. If he saw me again, he wouldn't think I was beautiful....it all hurts so much. It's been a really long time but that pain still comes back.
Does anyone know how to get rid of this?
Other than that, life is going really well. It's stressful, but sometimes it has to be. I forget to be excited about things. But slowly, I'm getting towards where I want to be, and someday I'll be there. I'm not saying I'll get to be a big movie director, but I'll do something with movies, the thing I love most. And it will be okay.
I have lots of worries about money and scholarships, etc. School, as useless at it is, costs SOOO much. I'll be in debt for a long, long time. I say it's useless, I don't know. A degree will help me get jobs verses having NO degree............stress is making me feel a little hopeless at times, that's all.
On the upside, my screenwriting professor gave me great feedback on my script. He really brightens students' days with glowing reviews. He was specific, though, which makes me believe whath e said and makes me feel good about my work.
The real downside to my current state is this: I keep thinking about my ex, even though he broke up with me in September. He was pushed out of my mind pretty well for a few months, but now I keep starting to think about him and having to stop myself. That would work if only I wasn't dreaming about him, too. I can't control it when I'm asleep. = ( I really love him, and deep down I still believe that with some maturing, we belong together. It's lame, I know. My friends will roll their eyes.
It hurts that he's on the other side of the world, with this new life, and I know he doesn't miss me. I'm sure I never even cross his mind. He has no desire to know what I'm doing. If he saw me again, he wouldn't think I was beautiful....it all hurts so much. It's been a really long time but that pain still comes back.
Does anyone know how to get rid of this?
Other than that, life is going really well. It's stressful, but sometimes it has to be. I forget to be excited about things. But slowly, I'm getting towards where I want to be, and someday I'll be there. I'm not saying I'll get to be a big movie director, but I'll do something with movies, the thing I love most. And it will be okay.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Everytime you make a real connection with someone it will get easier for you. You'll realize what an incredible world of possibilities we have.
Good luck!
xo
I think you're really beautiful btw.
/random journal stalk