aislin

Why is "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" so insightful?
Two quotes from Big Pete to warm one's heart:

"Why is it that when you miss a person so much your heart is about to disintigrate that you hear the saddest song on the radio?"

"And I realized that we were like a nuclear chain reaction that never got started. We could have exchanged neutrongs, and lit up the entire solar system. Instead, there was only darkness.""

Whoa.

So continuing with the whole not being over my ex thing, I have made a list of all the things that have reminded me of him. Many of these came up just in the past week. Ugh.

Here goes....Canada, curly hair, shoelaces, Superman, Batman, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Futurama, Family Guy, Mitch Hedburg, Emo Philips, swing music, musicals, Avenue Q, comic books (he still has my Johnny comics), Tom Cruise, Jude Law, movies starring either of them esp. Closer and Magnolia, Dickies, hugs, bracelets, gimp, Christmas, gingerbread houses, Twizzlers, the song Fade Into You, clowns, white cars, The Olive Garden, Rocky Horror, Gretchen Wilson and Redneck Woman, Converse, his smell, Playmobil, my black skirt, those boots he hated, the band Live, hats - esp. cowboy hats, the color yellow, The Life Aquatic, cuddling, hugging, corgies, Build-a-Bear, School of Rock, Scarlett Johansson, falling down on purpose, car rides, warm rain, happy couples, anime, rings, handmade gifts, the claddagh, brown eyes, most memories from the movie theater, white button-down shirts, feet, nail biting, my comfy sweaters/sweatshirts...even just getting ready in the morning reminds me of things about him.

How would you feel if you lost the only thing that could ever make you truly happy - forever - and you knew it was pretty much your fault? Yeah, THAT'S why I'm not doing too well. Even two months after it ended.

I was, and still am I guess, trying to chase happiness in other silly ways. It's not going to happen unless I start from the inside.