question posed (not by I) :
Is it possible to forgive and forget a serious betrayal by a loved one? Can you ever move completely beyond or does the incident remain buried just beneath the surface?
My answer?
let me explain.
it is past 1am. we make tea, and take it on the rug in our bedroom. we wear oversized white bathrobes. they're good quality and they are cosier because we didn't buy them. the tea cups have a fox hunting motif on them that reminds me of a lampshade from childhood. i try to see if they are good china by lifting the saucer above my head. elizebethan staffordshire. hmm.
the other day someone rang the doorbell. for as long as i have lived here no one has ever rung the doorbell. we were about to have dinner. i answered it. an attractive boy carrying a big grocery bag talked a lot at me. i looked at his face, and at his bag. he held out some socks. i felt hungry for something new. i want the socks[/] i thought. i waited for him to finish talking. i don't know what sob story it was. i gave him money and he gave me three pairs of socks. i felt elated. if nothing else, when i wake up sad tomorrow, i will have new socks[/]. others thought i was easily deceived.
before we were on the rug, we were on the bed. i was crying, we were talking. each saline line silently making its way down my face ripped invisible wounds through him. each wound that opened caused another tear. we talk for hours. i lay on his chest and he plays with my hair. i tell him the most painful things for him to hear, just because i know i can. this time it is me and not him at the bottom of the empty well. and then suddenly something tilted the balance, something was said that caused the rocks to shift. we were laughing. i was laughing so hard i was crying again. all this laughter loosened something inside me. like a rock that has been stopping the water flow and causing it to trickle, now that it had been dislodged, the well filled with water, and i float on the water and ride it to the surface. openness and fresh air, the excitement of possibility.
the answer to the question is, you cannot forget completely. but you can forget for moments at a time. at first these moments are short and infrequent, but as time goes on, they last longer and occur more often. it's like any hurt. it never goes away completely, and if you think about it you will still feel it acutely. but you don't always think about it.
Is it possible to forgive and forget a serious betrayal by a loved one? Can you ever move completely beyond or does the incident remain buried just beneath the surface?
My answer?
let me explain.
it is past 1am. we make tea, and take it on the rug in our bedroom. we wear oversized white bathrobes. they're good quality and they are cosier because we didn't buy them. the tea cups have a fox hunting motif on them that reminds me of a lampshade from childhood. i try to see if they are good china by lifting the saucer above my head. elizebethan staffordshire. hmm.
the other day someone rang the doorbell. for as long as i have lived here no one has ever rung the doorbell. we were about to have dinner. i answered it. an attractive boy carrying a big grocery bag talked a lot at me. i looked at his face, and at his bag. he held out some socks. i felt hungry for something new. i want the socks[/] i thought. i waited for him to finish talking. i don't know what sob story it was. i gave him money and he gave me three pairs of socks. i felt elated. if nothing else, when i wake up sad tomorrow, i will have new socks[/]. others thought i was easily deceived.
before we were on the rug, we were on the bed. i was crying, we were talking. each saline line silently making its way down my face ripped invisible wounds through him. each wound that opened caused another tear. we talk for hours. i lay on his chest and he plays with my hair. i tell him the most painful things for him to hear, just because i know i can. this time it is me and not him at the bottom of the empty well. and then suddenly something tilted the balance, something was said that caused the rocks to shift. we were laughing. i was laughing so hard i was crying again. all this laughter loosened something inside me. like a rock that has been stopping the water flow and causing it to trickle, now that it had been dislodged, the well filled with water, and i float on the water and ride it to the surface. openness and fresh air, the excitement of possibility.
the answer to the question is, you cannot forget completely. but you can forget for moments at a time. at first these moments are short and infrequent, but as time goes on, they last longer and occur more often. it's like any hurt. it never goes away completely, and if you think about it you will still feel it acutely. but you don't always think about it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
glad you enjoyed the movie too
i do like fillet steak myself, but just before christmas i had some vouchers to spend at river cottage, which is a farm owned by a chef. i used my vouchers to obtain masses of beef so i've dined on fillet steak, sirloin steak, ribeye steak, fine lean mince, coarse mince, and stewing steak for quite some time. i enjoy cooking immensely so i'd made lots of dishes with each.
my diet is coming along ok. i didn't cheat yesterday, although fajitas aren't exactly low in calorie content, but i'm still eating way below the recommended adult average. i think next week i'll drop it even lower, just for a week, to see what results i can gain.
my breakfast this morning consisted of a glass of water with an apple & bran muffin (84 calories) that i baked. mid morning i have a black coffee (5 calories), and lunch time i shall possibly have a tiger roll with 2 slices of chicken (220 calories). for the afternoon i will have another black coffee and perhaps another apple & bran muffin, alternatively a banana although that has a higher calorie content (105 calories). i'm unsure as to dinner tonight, but perhaps fish with steamed broccoli for which i may treat myself and make a thai style dressing
so when do you exit sweden, and where are you going? my offer still stands for anime watching