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Give the Blade Another Spin
I've lived so many times, if only in my head.

I have felt sad about everything.

I have loved so many times because I couldn't love myself.
Cradling illusion, desire
A terror that blossoms, like a rose in the soul.

I've learned to better get along with the pain
and the fear that even joy strikes within...
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Erasing the Twilight
................

I have drank all their poisons

and my blood is soiled and silent.



I sit here as they erase the twilight



And I know..that there is no paradise.



That paradise was lost when it was created in the mind.



A cry in the dark.



I know now that peace does not exist,

that this word formed itself on the lips of...
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My God feels Cheated
I was sitting there in my childhood hour without time or god
Life or death
When someone handed me the measure of distance
And now I am lost.


I was playing in my childhood hour without hate or love

When some handed me a present from god.
And excited I opened it without hesitation
Inside was a layer of skin made...
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Locks


................


Some will believe the fashionable fantasies


And the fairy tale romances


But at the end of the day everything has locks on it


And at the
end of the day we all feel it where it hurts most.


.. ..


Hope is in the hands of those who find themselves tired and
empty handed


After a
long day of digging their own graves


.. ..


And looking down...
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Herstory: The Guilty Child

When I was young I use to shield myself from the sun.
Passion would burn me up.

I was made up of fear
And the silence covered everything
And the silence was too much.

The Guilt was spilled everywhere,
Like rotten milk.

And it felt good to be forgiven.
Forgiveness was a gift,
A light that I could endure.
A familiar...
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To Let Be
............

Its 5am in the morning....

Waiting for the dawn to show up....

Like a long lost friend....

.. ..

Reading bukowski under the first light ....

Feels so ....

Romantic and false....

.. ..

Romance is false....

Lets just jump into bed....

.. ..

My apartment has giant windows....

Looking out to nothingness, ....

Wasted years....

Broken teeth....

Burning flesh....

.. ..

A cool wind blows....

Mixed in with hard time....

.. ..

Its beginning...
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?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!
............

Tripping over my shadow again

Cant go to anyone,

Least of all myself.

.. ..

The world passes by outside

With the same indifference

Takes no responsibility for

The pain it has created.

.. ..

Madness creeps in slowly

Like A good sniper.

Im to tired to

Fight and

there are no good hiding places left.

.. ..

Maybe

Ill stand still this time

Just Maybe

I mean

Nothing is for...
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A kiss
............

So we lay there in the dark....

A raw and naked love burning between us....

All the secret rivers ablaze.....

Breathing in beauty....

Breathing out pain....

.. ..

A phantom of desire ....

A shadow with a smile....

.. ..

The invading stillness whispers ....

From an unknown world.....

Drinking from your image....

drinking from my own.....

.. ..

The scattered ashes once again rose to become ....

A burning phoenix, ....

Flooding...
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falling into it



Nothing left of you but egg shells

and

Nothing is fair in love or war.



The self is a false friend

that, like a shadow, stays only while the sun shines.



And here my door has too many keys

leading all to the same place.

Where ever slip is a fall.



How is it that I can live a life that I...
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