It means alot ot hear kind words in the darkest of hours for me it seems, for as so many of you know of my selfless compassion,care,and love,the fact I am kind and I believe in all of you,I do what I can to keep so many in faith of themselves,I do my work to inspire and warm people's hearts but as this day has unraveled I am so tired truely weak and worn out,I guess it's taken effecxt deeply on me.I am sorry to all of you for not being here more often truly I am
But as one eprson said that the anger she has for my mothers beastly activities to harm me long ago are not justified and that it is not right,I was able to forgive ehr cruel hand,to forgive all that was for in truth al the pain and suffering,the tears and my blood shed has come back to haunt her beer,and smoke poison her,and her will to live is nonexistant,just fading away my motheri s sadly ,but her health fades as wel lan I come to tend to herbut not a easy task.We have good times and wicked humor goals with us,I forgive her truly tis why I am here now isolated from thew orld in a universe of a roach infested trailer she lies dormant and sleeping right now,the hurt in her eyes,the wounds within her are vast,and yet I feel bad for it all for as of today hell was handed to me ,for my stepfather who treats her as a animal and me as well comes once a day to fee d his flock and gather what he wants"to get online",he has not heart for her or me,he uses her social security and name for his fmailies interesat in buying things as he is illegel,doesnt stay here only comes to feed and bitch,feed and bitch,now I have endured so much in my life truly and well it's nothing but a easy task to block,but when he goes down the dark path of calling me useless I grow angry,so much anger I have for him but silent it is for I fear what I will so to him if I break my order.SSo tdsay sick and exausted I was trying to get over Saturday,I didnt sleep much,and well he came as I drifted and began again ravenging my mind and energy to clean for him,to go an seriously rid the yard of leaves"no problem sure,least I can do since he feeds me and puts a roof over my head,even though he will nto proivide transpoirtation for me to weork and to take me into town"But I go to do so ,as I clean no rake,no broom,so I aks him what to do clean the floor with my hands and pick each leave up,well yes,I have to now,he demands me and I go out ot do the best tryign to avoid fighting knowing he will release it on my mother,well as I got inside I cleaned and cooked he sat on his t hrown wathc t.v and enjouniong his chips anbd drink.Miss a spot yelled out,can't say ntohing no where else to go,for time being,so I jsut keep on working to rid his cruel words,I go and watch a movie with my mother and she is ready to begin listening to the bitching she goes in there to check the food and he unravels she requests me to stay in the room in fear of me lashing out so I did so,but as he grew more louder I got off and he shut up,he dispises me but tolerates me cause he needs my mothers name and s.s.But as she sat there weeping he gets online like its nothing ,and she told me what his final words were "when your son leaves,I'm kicking oyuo ut"sadly it scares me for even though she once was a monster she has payed in so many ways for what was done and well morbidly obese and npo fmaily to turn to no firends I am left ot wonder what can I do.She wil be kicked out either way and I cannot help her,I hurt,I hurt badly cause I am undure what to do
I cried in to the nights once more.
But as one eprson said that the anger she has for my mothers beastly activities to harm me long ago are not justified and that it is not right,I was able to forgive ehr cruel hand,to forgive all that was for in truth al the pain and suffering,the tears and my blood shed has come back to haunt her beer,and smoke poison her,and her will to live is nonexistant,just fading away my motheri s sadly ,but her health fades as wel lan I come to tend to herbut not a easy task.We have good times and wicked humor goals with us,I forgive her truly tis why I am here now isolated from thew orld in a universe of a roach infested trailer she lies dormant and sleeping right now,the hurt in her eyes,the wounds within her are vast,and yet I feel bad for it all for as of today hell was handed to me ,for my stepfather who treats her as a animal and me as well comes once a day to fee d his flock and gather what he wants"to get online",he has not heart for her or me,he uses her social security and name for his fmailies interesat in buying things as he is illegel,doesnt stay here only comes to feed and bitch,feed and bitch,now I have endured so much in my life truly and well it's nothing but a easy task to block,but when he goes down the dark path of calling me useless I grow angry,so much anger I have for him but silent it is for I fear what I will so to him if I break my order.SSo tdsay sick and exausted I was trying to get over Saturday,I didnt sleep much,and well he came as I drifted and began again ravenging my mind and energy to clean for him,to go an seriously rid the yard of leaves"no problem sure,least I can do since he feeds me and puts a roof over my head,even though he will nto proivide transpoirtation for me to weork and to take me into town"But I go to do so ,as I clean no rake,no broom,so I aks him what to do clean the floor with my hands and pick each leave up,well yes,I have to now,he demands me and I go out ot do the best tryign to avoid fighting knowing he will release it on my mother,well as I got inside I cleaned and cooked he sat on his t hrown wathc t.v and enjouniong his chips anbd drink.Miss a spot yelled out,can't say ntohing no where else to go,for time being,so I jsut keep on working to rid his cruel words,I go and watch a movie with my mother and she is ready to begin listening to the bitching she goes in there to check the food and he unravels she requests me to stay in the room in fear of me lashing out so I did so,but as he grew more louder I got off and he shut up,he dispises me but tolerates me cause he needs my mothers name and s.s.But as she sat there weeping he gets online like its nothing ,and she told me what his final words were "when your son leaves,I'm kicking oyuo ut"sadly it scares me for even though she once was a monster she has payed in so many ways for what was done and well morbidly obese and npo fmaily to turn to no firends I am left ot wonder what can I do.She wil be kicked out either way and I cannot help her,I hurt,I hurt badly cause I am undure what to do
I cried in to the nights once more.
Please forgive my absence, I have missed talking with you. My AnnastasiaGrace@yahoo.com Yahoo! Messenger account has apparently been hacked over the past couple weeks, because I can sign in under an alternate account and see "myself" signed in and available in my friends list, but whoever it is refuses to answer, or sign off so that my password reset can take effect. I finally just got fed up with Yahoo! Ignoring my help request emails and phone calls, and created a third account for SG friends, AnnastasiaGrace@ymail.com. I sent you a friend request, but if you need to type it in, make sure to include the "@ymail.com," which is what distinguishes it from my original one.
In addition to dealing with Yahoo!, I have also been having a nightmare dealing with Sprint. I made the huge mistake of using their wireless update service to upgrade my BB's Operating System, and it killed my 4 and half month BB. They were supposed to overnight a new one, which turned into 5 day delivery of a recyled one. I had the Sprint tech do the upgrade, and it lasted all of 2 days, before crashing and displaying the same screen of death as the first. So, I have sworn off trying to upgrade the OS for a while, and am just starting the 3rd day of having my 3rd BB, so far, so good, knock wood, offering prayers to St. Isadore of Seville, the patron saint of computers and the internet, and the people who program and use them.
Hope to talk soon, Sweetie,
Annastasia