So fucking upset right now.Like a 2 weeks ago I left home against my fathers wishes to come and be a part of my cousins life.I mean she is the only one who seems to give a damn about me.For so many fucking years have we been denied axcess to each other.Feeling we were pulled apart for stupid reason.so I found her a bit ago and it was so amazing,one of my cousins who was searching to put our broken family back together.She saw my need and importance to have a stable and strong relationship with family,so I thought
I mean we talked for quite some time about getting together to hang out and well she offered for me to come see her now cause she had the money and I had the ride.I went with my uncle to his work out of town to get picked up by her boyfriend then off to her place.I was so excited,the thought of seeing her and her son who I havent met,welll was amazing.
Well its Saturaday and now my heart is hurting of so much I am sad because she is quite selfish and always doing things she wants to do.I have only been able to spend two days with her that was decient.I am trying to be patient but it tears me up that she is off doing things with other people than spending time with me.I have told her but she is at it again.I mean she works all day and I am here watching her son which is no problem.But when she goes off to party and not tell me what she will be doing yea it makes me mad.I am just ready to pack up and live on the streets.Like I have only tried to have that bond but she is making me grow is distant and mean.I don't know what to do.Like I have no were else to go and this is hurting alot to be treated as another shadow like I have been treated most my life.She is exactly like my cousin when it comes to family.good intentions verbally but when it gets to it shes afraid of being selfless.No one prob. will read this but I had to vent
I mean we talked for quite some time about getting together to hang out and well she offered for me to come see her now cause she had the money and I had the ride.I went with my uncle to his work out of town to get picked up by her boyfriend then off to her place.I was so excited,the thought of seeing her and her son who I havent met,welll was amazing.
Well its Saturaday and now my heart is hurting of so much I am sad because she is quite selfish and always doing things she wants to do.I have only been able to spend two days with her that was decient.I am trying to be patient but it tears me up that she is off doing things with other people than spending time with me.I have told her but she is at it again.I mean she works all day and I am here watching her son which is no problem.But when she goes off to party and not tell me what she will be doing yea it makes me mad.I am just ready to pack up and live on the streets.Like I have only tried to have that bond but she is making me grow is distant and mean.I don't know what to do.Like I have no were else to go and this is hurting alot to be treated as another shadow like I have been treated most my life.She is exactly like my cousin when it comes to family.good intentions verbally but when it gets to it shes afraid of being selfless.No one prob. will read this but I had to vent

As I have gotten older I have realized that you must make the best of the situation for yourself. I have 2 younger sisters and the sister that is 14 years younger then me I find that I am closer to her which is nice when we are together we have so much fun. She respects my opinion and asks for it often.
As a parent, I do feel that your dad should learn to respect you as an adult. My mom always tried to be my best freind instead of a mom. I had plenty of freinds what I neede was a mom and I still have some resentment towards her for that. I still feel like I am the responsible one in the family and had to learn how to take of myself. Out of sisters I am still a daddy's girl which is so weird because growing up we fought all the time over stupid things. My grandfather died a couple of weeks ago and dad looked at me for support not my mom or my sisters could say the right thing and I was able to help him. One day your dad will look to you when you least expect it and your relationship will be different you will crossover and be the child that has turned into an adult. When that happens he will realize that he will continue to live through you.
Take care sweetie.
Cari