Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

agentblack

United Kingdom

Member Since 2004

Followers 43 Following 46

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Thursday Dec 14, 2006

Dec 14, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Let's begin.

First order of business - JO! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN.

A brief Summary - Yes, I've turned 25. Halfway to fifty, a whole quarter century. I ain't dealing with it at all well. I'm still living at home, and I have no real career. I am unable to maintain long term relationships* and I have more interest in compulsive exercise than in getting on the property ladder.

But I've got tattoos and a hearty stockpile of top class fireworks, so I don't really give a shit.

In conclusion - Looking back over twenty five years, I think the main lesson I can take from my dissolute life is that there is no fucking excuse for being miserable. Change your fucking situation.

I have come a long fucking way. I found some pictures of me at 12/13 when I was a strange, pallid scrawny fucker, with no friends and less social skills. If you're lucky, I'll stick some up here.

I used to be a hideous, hideous nerd - Boring, Withdrawn, Mumbling, and Geeky (not the funny kind, the "sweet fuck, get the fuck away from me" kind) with a milky white complexion and soft, weak flesh on bone thin arms.
And now I'm totally fucking awesome.

If you're unhappy with your weight, do some exercise - no one starts out the supreme athlete. I began doing press ups on the bathroom floor until I couldn't move my arms any more. Now I climb mountains. FUCK YES.

I used to be so immature and lacking in social skills that my younger brother was getting girls whilst I sat at home reading Warhammer 40K rule books on a friday and saturday night. Now I am a massive slag. FUCK YES. True, I had to deal with a massive amount of rejection and crushing failure, BUT SUCH IS THE PRICE PAID TO WALK THE PATH TO GREATNESS.

So yeah, stop your whining. and stuff. Better living through press ups and girls of obvious low character and virture.

To Conclude - Pretty! Girls!


I want to make her my Bond Villaness - She would fly a black helicopter and be called Lady Europa. She would be an expert knife thrower and make me cheese on toast.

*There's a book out at the moment by Paul McKennna (who looks like he has AIDS now, by the way.) called "I can make you thin". If there are any girls out there that fancy shifting a few pounds but don't like the idea of giving this creepy fucker any money, drop me a line, and I'll help you loose a tonne of weight.

It's a fool proof technique called "Being my Girlfriend". The majority of the weight loss is caused by enduring highly stressful situations that will cause your heart rate to shoot through the roof, increasing the amount of calories you burn.

You'll also pick up a plethora of key phrases, that will help reinforce and heighten the stress reactions.
These include, but are not limited to;

"Where the hell have you been?"
"Why are your pockets full of broken glass?"
"Where did you get that dog?"
"Who is Chloe and why does she keep phoning here?"
"How did you get that black eye?"
"Why is your brother here, and where are his clothes?"
"What are you doing with those matches?"
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mat8drb:

If you're unhappy with your weight, do some exercise

Yep, I finally figured that out this year.

Also, why don't helicopters come in more colours? Why is there never a gold one?

Dec 16, 2006
its_matt:
Im going to lose weight in 2007. Im gradually beginning to realise time isnt on my side when it comes to attracting a mate, hopefully bigger guns will draw attention away from my various flaws.
Dec 17, 2006

More Blogs

  • 02.18.09
    3

    Wednesday Feb 18, 2009

    Oh Oh My. There has been an awful mistake.
  • 10.15.07
    5

    Tuesday Oct 16, 2007

    Things that are good about the internet: Google Cache! Put simp…
  • 10.07.07
    2

    Sunday Oct 07, 2007

    Upon his grandfather's death, the First Prince had declared himself i…
  • 09.17.07
    5

    Monday Sep 17, 2007

    Read More
  • 09.04.07
    7

    Tuesday Sep 04, 2007

    I've been spending a lot of time at work - whilst I'm not stabbing cu…
  • 09.01.07
    4

    Saturday Sep 01, 2007

    Back from Switzerland! It was awesome, and also shit. But an bala…
  • 08.19.07
    2

    Sunday Aug 19, 2007

    I walk through a fine palace, through a succession of fabulous roo…
  • 06.19.07
    17

    Tuesday Jun 19, 2007

    Inspellen's plan would succeed. There was no risk of failure there. H…
  • 05.30.07
    12

    Wednesday May 30, 2007

    The rest of the week I spent shuttling between The Administration and…
  • 04.25.07
    17

    Wednesday Apr 25, 2007

    The subterranean levels of the Institute building were legendary. All…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
6
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,598 SuicideGirls
  • 1,116,294 followers
  • 14,937,563 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,436,624 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo