agentblack

It's been a funny old couple of weeks - Let's have a recap.

There's been a lot of empty talk concerning the migration of polish workers into the country. I tend to not comment on stuff like this, because I think it's fairly apparent that Britain has always been and will always bea mongrel nation, and all this PANICKED HYSTERIA merely reveals who the pricks are. There is nothing wrong with expanding the gene pool.

Also pretty! polish girls called Ludmilla are SUPER COOL.

A little closer to home, Gran is still staying with us. I've noticed that she doesn't have a clue who I am. Generally I get home before everyone else after I finish work, and Gran will stare at me when I walk in with this crazy worried look on her face - I think she thinks I'm a burglar or something - until I say "Hello Gran", at which point she realises I'm a grandson and says hello and asks how my day was.

Notice however, I said "A Grandson". I'm fairly certain she has no idea who I really am, and I've got a feeling she doesn't know anymore how many grandchildren she has. When she first turned up, she kept mistaking me for my youngest brother, which sort of wound me up; I'm the first born, I should be the one that get's remembered damn it!

Now though I just appreciate it's comic potential. Obviously it'd be bad form to just straight out ask "Do you know how I am?" No one likes being called out, especially not a frail old widow, but I'm considering coming home and not calling her Gran, and seeing what she makes of me.

The last couple of weekends have been sort of busy, and sort of quiet. This weekend just gone, Myself and Farmboy Ben did outdoorsy boy things, driving around the general Essex area in a battered land rover getting pallets for what will be the AWESOMEST BONFIRE EVER.

With the amount of fireworks we're obtaining, If some one doesn't lose a thumb or at least a fingertip by the end of the night I'm going to consider it a total failure.

I was supposed to go to a Fancy Dress hallowe'en party, but I hate the toxic little dwarf who's party it was, so instead I went out and made some friends.

The weekend before was similar, Rolling around Essex with Farmboy Ben doing outdoorsy firewood collecting, and swearing and being manly with bits of rope. We also decided it'd be a Killer Idea to get some people round, and have a bit of a roast, so we made some calls and got SOME SHIT HAPPENING.

After we'd all eaten loads (Crackling is crunchy salty happiness in pig skin flavoured form) we decided it'd be a good idea to have a party, so a bunch of people went on a booze run, and the rest of us cleaned up the house.

HOWEVER - Unknown to me, someone on the booze run decided it'd be a good idea to get some hallowe'en masks, for the express purposes of fucking with me.

Apparently it's fairly common knowledge that I can be a touch... nervy when roused from sleep, especially when some sort of shock is involved.

So, at about half four when everyone else was playing the fun game "Take the pills that were left over from Fabric" I crashed out on a spare bed. Some point later in the night, I woke up to find a bunch of sinister figures looming over me, with terrifying faces that were NOT OF THIS EARTH.

At which point I totally lost my shit, which they recorded for posterity and posted on youtube, the fucks

I have friction burns on my arm where I skidded across the floor trying to get away from them.

Fuckers.