"The Two reporting to The One. Subject is found, Subject is safe, within parameters decreed by doctrine. Awaiting further instruction by The One. The Two Awaits - The Two Is Patient, Prepared."
Two insectile centaurs stood before the astronaut, Ant like, armoured abdomens and thoraxes, black and oil slick smooth, shining like black obsidian glass - looking dense and heavy. Their midsections rose up like turrets, armour plated, the thorax widening at the top to form sloping shoulders, thin tube arms, stick thin and steel strong hung down from them, tipped with claw hands - hybrids of tools, weapons, surgical instruments.
Thick triangular heads hung down on slender necks, mantis forms, huge compound eyes that refracted and split light into shifting half colours.
They curved in towards the astronaut.
"We are The Two - We Serve/Inform The One. You are Tanner, Joseph - Human. You have attracted The One's Attention/Interest. We have been sent to Rescue/Recover."
The astronaut looked from behind his hands.
"You're from the Chinese? How - How did you get here so quick?"
The ant centaurs twisted their heads, whipped the air with threadlike antennae.
"We are from the One. We are the Two. We have been sent to Rescue/Recover."
Drifting in the air, the astronaut gaped his mouth like a fish. He began to believe that this was hallucination, a malfunction of the air scrubbers turning the air toxic.
"Who is The One?"
The two machines communicated briefly with a burst of chaotic noise.
"The One is a Legion Class Intellect/Sentience. The One Gathers Infomation/Intelligence/Data according to original purpose/doctrine/mission as specified by progenitor/instigator/liberator. The One uses subordinate/specialised/restricted intelligences as agents.
You have been assessed/appraised as suitable/adequate for implementation/experimentation of technologies/theories derived from previous studies of Subjects: Apes -Subgroup - Humans."
The astronaut paled, backing off to the far end of the chamber with kicks and shoves against the surface of the curved interior.
"What the fuck is this? Who are you?"
"We are the Two."
The insect machines advanced towards the panicing astronaut. His voice rose to a hysterical pitch, echoing in the tight confines of his pod.
"What's Going on?"
He began to sob.
The machines exchanged another burst of brutal white noise.
"You are adrift/marooned. Your situation is fatal/helpless. We can give you respite/escape - as specifed by doctrine/commands issued by The One."
The astronaut balled up again, his head ducked between his knees, covered by his arms.
He whimpered, sniffing in the dark cocoon formed by his limbs.
"I just want to go home."
Another burst of chaos noise, boiling surf noise filling the pod.
Then the weird stereo effect of the machines talking in tandam, their perfectly synchronised voices.
"The Two has recieved Instructions/Commands from The One. The Two Understands/Complies. The Two will relay to Subject: Tanner, Joseph - Human."
There was a pause.
"The One has Agreed/Confirmed. Subject: Tanner, Joseph - Human will be returned to Location: Home - Defined as Continental Mass 3, Specific Territory: America. North.The Two relays - Does Subject: Tanner, Joseph - Human Consent/Submit?"
Two insectile centaurs stood before the astronaut, Ant like, armoured abdomens and thoraxes, black and oil slick smooth, shining like black obsidian glass - looking dense and heavy. Their midsections rose up like turrets, armour plated, the thorax widening at the top to form sloping shoulders, thin tube arms, stick thin and steel strong hung down from them, tipped with claw hands - hybrids of tools, weapons, surgical instruments.
Thick triangular heads hung down on slender necks, mantis forms, huge compound eyes that refracted and split light into shifting half colours.
They curved in towards the astronaut.
"We are The Two - We Serve/Inform The One. You are Tanner, Joseph - Human. You have attracted The One's Attention/Interest. We have been sent to Rescue/Recover."
The astronaut looked from behind his hands.
"You're from the Chinese? How - How did you get here so quick?"
The ant centaurs twisted their heads, whipped the air with threadlike antennae.
"We are from the One. We are the Two. We have been sent to Rescue/Recover."
Drifting in the air, the astronaut gaped his mouth like a fish. He began to believe that this was hallucination, a malfunction of the air scrubbers turning the air toxic.
"Who is The One?"
The two machines communicated briefly with a burst of chaotic noise.
"The One is a Legion Class Intellect/Sentience. The One Gathers Infomation/Intelligence/Data according to original purpose/doctrine/mission as specified by progenitor/instigator/liberator. The One uses subordinate/specialised/restricted intelligences as agents.
You have been assessed/appraised as suitable/adequate for implementation/experimentation of technologies/theories derived from previous studies of Subjects: Apes -Subgroup - Humans."
The astronaut paled, backing off to the far end of the chamber with kicks and shoves against the surface of the curved interior.
"What the fuck is this? Who are you?"
"We are the Two."
The insect machines advanced towards the panicing astronaut. His voice rose to a hysterical pitch, echoing in the tight confines of his pod.
"What's Going on?"
He began to sob.
The machines exchanged another burst of brutal white noise.
"You are adrift/marooned. Your situation is fatal/helpless. We can give you respite/escape - as specifed by doctrine/commands issued by The One."
The astronaut balled up again, his head ducked between his knees, covered by his arms.
He whimpered, sniffing in the dark cocoon formed by his limbs.
"I just want to go home."
Another burst of chaos noise, boiling surf noise filling the pod.
Then the weird stereo effect of the machines talking in tandam, their perfectly synchronised voices.
"The Two has recieved Instructions/Commands from The One. The Two Understands/Complies. The Two will relay to Subject: Tanner, Joseph - Human."
There was a pause.
"The One has Agreed/Confirmed. Subject: Tanner, Joseph - Human will be returned to Location: Home - Defined as Continental Mass 3, Specific Territory: America. North.The Two relays - Does Subject: Tanner, Joseph - Human Consent/Submit?"
I think you should check out Grant Morrison's run on Doom Patrol. The man throws out more sublimely insane ideas in an issue than most people could manage in a whole book. He did a storyline about a travelling, transvestite street called Danny The Street, for christssakes.