agata

I totally forgot to put this in my journal, god knows how, I was crying with laughter when I heard!

Ok, theres a guy called Justin who works on the pot wash in the kitchen for the place I work for. Lovely guy, wouldnt say boo to a goose, but he's just a couple of clowns short of a circus... He's like that weird kid that would be in everyones class at school. You know, the one who was still eating crayons and mumbling to his imaginary friend even when he was in the last year...
So ok, Justin's pulled some wierd shit in his time here apprently. The only one ive ever been around for was the U-bend incident...

About 2 months ago, Justin, in all his wisdom decided it would be necessary to leave the kitchen and take appart the plumbing for the gents urinal... now this would maybe be ok if it wasnt for two points:
1. It wasnt blocked.
2. Its not even loosely corrilated to his job discription.


This didnt seem to phase him. But then one of the chefs, Lloyd... A big black guy and black belt in 2 martal arts went to, well, relieve himself...
Unsuspectingly he proceeded to piss all over his shoes.
When questioned by the furious, piss drenched chef why he did it, he simple responed: "It needed cleaning."
Yes! Justin strikes again!

I thought this was pure comedy gold. That was until I heard what he did last year...

Its 10:30pm and Justin's just clocking off. He grabs his stuff, puts his helmet on and gets on his motorbike. Now, I dont live a great distance away from him and it takes me no more that 15 mins to get to work of a morning. So, I know for a fact he lives less than 5 miles away. Not a problem eh? ...Not quite... On his way home, Justin discovers theres road works blocking his turning off the main road to and from work (A45). For anyone else this wouldnt be too much hassle as you can take the next turn only about 500m further down, but as we know, Justin's marching to the beat of his own drummer. It just appears that Justins drummer has one arm and is currently trying to fight off a swarm of killer bees.
He carrys on... and on, and on, and on. He's now firmly associated with the A45 and is heading towards Birmingham... About 15miles away!...

For reasons only known to himself he's now gone past Birmingham and somehow found his way onto the M6!!! Now would be a good time to point out that Justins never ridden on the motorway before, infact he's only just passed his test! So, like a bat out of hell he tears down the motorway at grand speed of 30mph, tired, cold, lost, and as ever, confused.

Its 2:15am and now theres flashing lights behind him. Heeding this mothers advise for riding at night, he doesnt stop... for anyone.

Its now 2:45am... Those darn blue lights are still behind him...He still hasnt stopped.

Then at 3am, the police decide they've had enough and throw a stinger trap infront of him!

3:05am Justin grinds to a halt.
The police cautiously stroll up and question his actions. Even thought asked, Justin refuses to take his helmet off.

3:10am Justin is arrested of dangerous driving.
When asked:
"Have you been drinking son?"
"Yes"
"What have you been drinking?"
"Coke"
Genius!
The police quickly realised that this kid hasnt quite got both awes in the water and let him phone his mom. Who has to wait till the morning to come and pick him up...


Now thats some journey! Bearing in mind, to scale, he shouldnt have even had to leave that green circle next to 'Warwick'!

I love Justin, he's a legend!

Anyway, in other news the single for How Much Can A Man Take? has been given a proposed release date. Im not saying when yet cause I dont wanna jinx it. Its all been fucked up from start to finish what with the video shoot and the tour, everything's been a legal roller coster ride. I still dont know if the vid is gonna be used. The song's kind of fitting due to the circumstances.

Your life, in exchange for the enemy.
In this life I want to be free.
I dont care what you think of me.
Theres noone to disgrace, should I wake up?

How much can a man take?

Fuck you! You lie and you love and you cheat!
Just to try and turn all your enemies on me.

You live in fear of my wrath.
Im reincarnated as the king of your path.
Now noone can see, that Im gonna crack.
Theres noone there to watch my fuckin' back!

How much can a man take!?