Ive been bored over the last few hours so I thought ild wander round google expanding my knowlage on USA. 
I know it sounds odd, and maybe kinda sad but I was kinda intreagued by you people. And theres been such a big wave of anti-Americanism around for the past few years, well decades. Mainly, in... the world... 
But I dont share that. I just hate your leader... Though, boy, alot of you guys are pretty fucked up! Sorry, I dont mean to tar you all with the same brush but there does seem to be a hell of alot of fuckin' idiots in your country.<insert your own Bush joke here> Now Ive got a hell of alot of American friends and I love them to pieces so dont get me wrong, its great country, but a strange culture. 
Its a country where tobaco kills 400,000 people a year...so you ban atificial sweeteners!? Huh!? I even saw an artical that stated you were thinking about banning toy guns... but keeping the fuckin' real ones!? But it seems to me that the US was built on double standards and thats where you faults orginated. I dont mean to nit-pic but just look at your history: Your country was founded by slave owners...who wanted to be free. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free so they killed a load of white english people so they could continue owning their African black people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people and move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop nuclear wepons on the yellow Japanise people!? You know what the moto of your country should be? "You give us a colour, we'll wipe it out!"
But then , its kinda understanable as you guys sure do love war
You're a War-Like people. Forget your foreign policey just look no further than your domestic retoric. If you dont like something you declare war on it. 'The war againts drugs' 'The war on poverty' 'The war on crime' 'The war against Aids' 'The war on cancer'...You've got the only national anthem that mentions fuckin' rockets and bombs for christ sake!!! But my favourate is what you call 'The war against terrorism' why? Because its abreviation is T.W.A.T! ...You really will elect anyone wont you, and thats what worries me. The fact that the mojority of you put your trust in someone who appears to the public to be clinicly retarded!? This guy can bearly form cohearent sentences for fuck sake! 
With that in mind ive come up with a list of people you should NOT trust. Ever.
First off, the obvious: Anyone involved with polotics, religion, teaching or insurence. This should go without saying.
Now the slightly more... obscure individuals:
Any airline pilot wearing two different shoes.
Gynecologist with poor depth perseption.
Any person who mentions Jesus more than 200 times in a 3 minute convosation.
All women who's hobby is breast feeding zoo animals.
Any boy scout leader who owns a sex shop.
All people who know the second verse to your national anthem.
Cross eyed nuns who drink gin.
People who have large gums and small teeth.
And finally, any guy whos arm hair covers his wrist watch.
There you go, hope it helps.
You know one thing that seems to be a bigger deal over in the US than here? Abortion. You dont really hear much fuss about it over here, and fare enough. But over in the States!...Wooooooh. Damn, you guys go nuts about it. Well, not all of you, just the bible fuckin' twats. See, there only really one religious groups I hate more than Christians... American Christians. Now I do respect all the major religions and even the minor ones (ie. Jedi) But I will say this, if you do belive any of it, you're a fuckin moron! And besides, theyre fuckin nuts, not to mention pissing your country away! Seriously, you really have to sort out the relationship between religion and government over there! You know what I think you should do? Tax them. Tax those mother fuckers. If theyre so interested in polotics and public polocy, let them pay their admission price like the rest of you! You, know the Catholic church alone could wipe out most of your federal budget deficite if all you did was tax them on their real estate holdings!!! But anyway, back to the abortions. The area where these narrow mind, self indulgent dip-shits seem to put so much pressure on. These same people who are pro capital punishment and anti gun control. The so called 'Right to lifers'... Bullshit! When they talk about right to life all they mean is THEIR right to choose who they want to live and die. Theyre not pro life, theyre anti woman. So these crypto-fasists, they're anti rock music, anti pornography, anti sex education, anti homosexuals, anti abortion... Well, answer me this. Who has less abortions than homosexuals!? You fuckin' idiots! I would have thoughy you'ld make good allies? At the end of the day its a question of priority. So heres a good way to piss off a 'Pro lifer'... Say to one (ideally a guy) "If you think a fetus is more important than a women, you try getting a fetus to give you a blowjob!" That'll crease him. Doesnt strike you as mildly ironic that most of these people who are against abortion are people you wouldnt wanna fuck in the first place!? But then, you cant look for consistency in religion so dont waste your time because the more you get sucked into this abortion debate the more you'll hear the phrase 'sanctity of life'. Do you beleive this in it? Personly it think its a bunch of shit. Life is sacred? Fuck off! Who said so? God? Hey if you flick back through history you'll see God is one of the leading causes of death! And has been for thousands of years, whether its Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians, theyre all taking turns killing themselve because God said it was a good idea. 'The sword of God' 'Blood of the land' 'Vengence be mine'...millions of dead motherfuckers. All because they failed the 'God question'. "Do you beleive in God"? "No". BANG, dead. "Do you beleive in God"? "Yes." "Do you beleive in MY God"? "No". BANG, dead. All the bloodiest wars too. All the ugliest, nastiest wars in history have been because of religious hatred. And thats fine with me. Whenever any of these holy motherfuckers wanna wipe each other out, im a happy guy! Just dont be giving me this sanctity of life bullshit.
So, on a lighter note, im on google typing in crap and then I noticed you guys have little slogans and stuff on the number plates of your cars! Thats great! And different states have different slogans. Some are good, some are shite and some just plain back up my theory you're all nutters. Now Pensilvaynia has: "You have a friend in Pensilvaynia" This kinda bugged me ...Ok, thats all very nice but the mojority of people who will get to read this live in Pensilvaynia so ofcourse they have a fuckin friend there! Hell theyve preoberly got a whole bunch of them, my guess is, if they fuckin live there theyre more than likely have at least on aquaintence! But ok, ok, at least its a nice thought. Unlike New Hampshires... "Live free...or die" Fuck! Well, im certainly not gonna visit there! I dont feel comfortably with any state that mentions dead right on the licence plate. Its a little unnerving.
So I know, the States arnt all bad. Hell, in ratio to us (England) we've prob got more assholes and fruitcakes per square mile. So weldone! The only reason you get so much bad press is because its on a larger scale.
So, in retrospec its not all that bad really if you think about it propotionatly. We're pretty much the same. Though there are still a few things I dont get about you guys. For example, it does make me wander when we, over here see clips from CNN of some reporter sounding supprised when some kid shoots up his high school... ... Well you do all have guns... And they have got a very limited range of household aplications. Dont get me wrong I love wepons as much as you. Oh, how I miss our firearms. But come on...
Well, I think im gonna leave it at that. Ive probley pissed a great deal of you off
and im tired.
Hally Ho'
xxx xxx
I know it sounds odd, and maybe kinda sad but I was kinda intreagued by you people. And theres been such a big wave of anti-Americanism around for the past few years, well decades. Mainly, in... the world... But I dont share that. I just hate your leader... Though, boy, alot of you guys are pretty fucked up! Sorry, I dont mean to tar you all with the same brush but there does seem to be a hell of alot of fuckin' idiots in your country.<insert your own Bush joke here> Now Ive got a hell of alot of American friends and I love them to pieces so dont get me wrong, its great country, but a strange culture.
Its a country where tobaco kills 400,000 people a year...so you ban atificial sweeteners!? Huh!?
I even saw an artical that stated you were thinking about banning toy guns... but keeping the fuckin' real ones!? But it seems to me that the US was built on double standards and thats where you faults orginated. I dont mean to nit-pic but just look at your history: Your country was founded by slave owners...who wanted to be free. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free so they killed a load of white english people so they could continue owning their African black people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people and move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop nuclear wepons on the yellow Japanise people!? You know what the moto of your country should be? "You give us a colour, we'll wipe it out!"
But then , its kinda understanable as you guys sure do love war
You're a War-Like people. Forget your foreign policey just look no further than your domestic retoric. If you dont like something you declare war on it. 'The war againts drugs' 'The war on poverty' 'The war on crime' 'The war against Aids' 'The war on cancer'...You've got the only national anthem that mentions fuckin' rockets and bombs for christ sake!!! But my favourate is what you call 'The war against terrorism' why? Because its abreviation is T.W.A.T! ...You really will elect anyone wont you, and thats what worries me. The fact that the mojority of you put your trust in someone who appears to the public to be clinicly retarded!? This guy can bearly form cohearent sentences for fuck sake!
With that in mind ive come up with a list of people you should NOT trust. Ever.
First off, the obvious: Anyone involved with polotics, religion, teaching or insurence. This should go without saying.
Now the slightly more... obscure individuals:
Any airline pilot wearing two different shoes.
Gynecologist with poor depth perseption.
Any person who mentions Jesus more than 200 times in a 3 minute convosation.
All women who's hobby is breast feeding zoo animals.
Any boy scout leader who owns a sex shop.
All people who know the second verse to your national anthem.
Cross eyed nuns who drink gin.
People who have large gums and small teeth.
And finally, any guy whos arm hair covers his wrist watch.
There you go, hope it helps.
You know one thing that seems to be a bigger deal over in the US than here? Abortion. You dont really hear much fuss about it over here, and fare enough. But over in the States!...Wooooooh. Damn, you guys go nuts about it. Well, not all of you, just the bible fuckin' twats. See, there only really one religious groups I hate more than Christians... American Christians. Now I do respect all the major religions and even the minor ones (ie. Jedi) But I will say this, if you do belive any of it, you're a fuckin moron! And besides, theyre fuckin nuts, not to mention pissing your country away! Seriously, you really have to sort out the relationship between religion and government over there! You know what I think you should do? Tax them. Tax those mother fuckers. If theyre so interested in polotics and public polocy, let them pay their admission price like the rest of you! You, know the Catholic church alone could wipe out most of your federal budget deficite if all you did was tax them on their real estate holdings!!! But anyway, back to the abortions. The area where these narrow mind, self indulgent dip-shits seem to put so much pressure on. These same people who are pro capital punishment and anti gun control. The so called 'Right to lifers'... Bullshit! When they talk about right to life all they mean is THEIR right to choose who they want to live and die. Theyre not pro life, theyre anti woman. So these crypto-fasists, they're anti rock music, anti pornography, anti sex education, anti homosexuals, anti abortion... Well, answer me this. Who has less abortions than homosexuals!? You fuckin' idiots! I would have thoughy you'ld make good allies? At the end of the day its a question of priority. So heres a good way to piss off a 'Pro lifer'... Say to one (ideally a guy) "If you think a fetus is more important than a women, you try getting a fetus to give you a blowjob!" That'll crease him. Doesnt strike you as mildly ironic that most of these people who are against abortion are people you wouldnt wanna fuck in the first place!? But then, you cant look for consistency in religion so dont waste your time because the more you get sucked into this abortion debate the more you'll hear the phrase 'sanctity of life'. Do you beleive this in it? Personly it think its a bunch of shit. Life is sacred? Fuck off! Who said so? God? Hey if you flick back through history you'll see God is one of the leading causes of death! And has been for thousands of years, whether its Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians, theyre all taking turns killing themselve because God said it was a good idea. 'The sword of God' 'Blood of the land' 'Vengence be mine'...millions of dead motherfuckers. All because they failed the 'God question'. "Do you beleive in God"? "No". BANG, dead. "Do you beleive in God"? "Yes." "Do you beleive in MY God"? "No". BANG, dead. All the bloodiest wars too. All the ugliest, nastiest wars in history have been because of religious hatred. And thats fine with me. Whenever any of these holy motherfuckers wanna wipe each other out, im a happy guy! Just dont be giving me this sanctity of life bullshit.
So, on a lighter note, im on google typing in crap and then I noticed you guys have little slogans and stuff on the number plates of your cars! Thats great!
And different states have different slogans. Some are good, some are shite and some just plain back up my theory you're all nutters. Now Pensilvaynia has: "You have a friend in Pensilvaynia" This kinda bugged me ...Ok, thats all very nice but the mojority of people who will get to read this live in Pensilvaynia so ofcourse they have a fuckin friend there! Hell theyve preoberly got a whole bunch of them, my guess is, if they fuckin live there theyre more than likely have at least on aquaintence! But ok, ok, at least its a nice thought. Unlike New Hampshires... "Live free...or die" Fuck! Well, im certainly not gonna visit there! I dont feel comfortably with any state that mentions dead right on the licence plate. Its a little unnerving.
So I know, the States arnt all bad. Hell, in ratio to us (England) we've prob got more assholes and fruitcakes per square mile.
So weldone! The only reason you get so much bad press is because its on a larger scale.
So, in retrospec its not all that bad really if you think about it propotionatly. We're pretty much the same. Though there are still a few things I dont get about you guys. For example, it does make me wander when we, over here see clips from CNN of some reporter sounding supprised when some kid shoots up his high school...
... Well you do all have guns... And they have got a very limited range of household aplications. Dont get me wrong I love wepons as much as you. Oh, how I miss our firearms. But come on...
Well, I think im gonna leave it at that. Ive probley pissed a great deal of you off
and im tired.
Hally Ho'
xxx
xxx VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
meredith:
hello! HIM fan?
meredith:
bam who?