agata

Here I am, woh woh, rock you like a hurricane! Come on', come on', come on' , come on'!

Sorry, just had to get that out my system So, yup im back, wo wo. I love New York, esspecially at Xmas... but I dont like airports. Theyre a pain in the ass. And everyones SO dull. They dont apprechiate jokes by the way. When asked "Did you pack you bag yourself?" I said "No." ..."Carrot Top packed my bag." I swear, the guy nearly lamped me But its not just that, when you've been waiting around in an airport for a good while, even the little things start pissing you off. You know all those announcments and things. Everyone telling you to get on the plane, get on the plane. Well, fuck you im getting IN the plane, let Evil Kenevil get ON the plane! Im coming in with you folks in uniform, there seems to be less wind in here! So this usually marks the start of the hour that REALLY pissed me off. I love flying, dont get me wrong but that first 45/60 mins where your waiting on the tarmac is fuckin' awful! First they tell you that you're on a 'Non stop flight" Well, I dont care for that at all, infact I insist that my flight stops! Ideally at an airport, one where I wanna actully be. Then its time for that goddamn safety lecture! "Please put your seat back forward." What!? I dont bend that way! I could put my seat back forward ild be in fuckin porn films! Now here's the bit I love. How to work the seat belt. Now im a simple man, I do not posses an engineering degree nor am i mechanically inclined. But come on, seat belt...high tech shit!? Its just insulting. Now the final bit of the lecture. "In the unlike event..." Woh, now wait a minute, this is a very suspect phrase, esspecially coming as it does from a company willing to lie about arival and departure times. "In the unlike event of a decrease in cabin pressure (roof flys off) an oxygen mask will drop from above. Place over your mouth and breath normally" Yeah, cause I always breath normally when im in a 600 mph uncontrolable vertical dive. I also shit normally! But here's the bit that cracks me up. They tell you to secure mask before helping your child with his/hers... I did not need to be told that. Hey, its just a little rubber band, not nearly as complex as, say, a seat belt. Anyway, now I got all that off my chest just wanna say sorry I havent been able to reply to all your comments (again) I didnt really bother trying to get on the net over there, but dont worry Ill swamp you all with stupid messages soon

Not really much else to report on. Im still a jobless slacker. Well now im a skint jobless slacker, spent way too much when I was away I bought a Dior Suit though! (see pic < I know, what you're thinkin' : 'bling, bling' yup! Damn, I should become a pimp! Yeah, that would ace, good income, drive a big car, get to wear a purple suit and have a top hat and cane. Sweet. ...Im gonna look into this... Do pimps still wear furry tophats?... I hope so. Oh, yeah, tis' illegal though. Bugger. Think about it though, 'selling's' legal, 'fucking's' legal, why is'nt 'selling fucking' legal? In a world where theres a retard running the largest country and invading everywhere (and 'justifying' it), giving someone an orgasm is hardly a bad thing.

What else...? Oh, I came to the conclusion im proberly a little bit fucked in the head Either that, of I just generally hate the human race. I found myself watching CNN solely because I wanted to see explosions and fires, shit blowing up and bodies flying around. Im not interested in the goddamn budget and I dont care where the fuckin Pope is. But you show me a hospital on fire and people on crutches are jumping off the roof, and im a happy guy. I wanna see a paint factory blowing up, I wanna see petrol stations explode, I wanna see a tornado hit a church on sunday! I wanna know theres a guy in Bumfuck Idaho running around a K-Mart with an automatic weapon firing at the clerks. I wanna hear about a nuclear meltdown, and the stock market dropping 2000 points in one day. I wanna see people under pressure! Sirens, flames, smoke, bodies, graves being filled, parents crying, exciting shit, my kinda TV. Its just the kind guy I am. You know what I love most? When big chunks of flaming concrete and wood are falling out the sky and people are running round trying to get out the way. That why I watch motor racing, im waiting for some accidents man. I dont care about aload of pricks in helmets drving in a circle, my brother could do that for christ sake. Doesnt impress me. But if you show me a guy running round with his head on fire punching himself trying to put it out, or a car doing a 200mph cartwheel im more than happy. And if a car flips into the stand and kills 50 odd spectators? Good, fuck em'! They paied to get in there, let em' take their chances like everyone else! Just means more fun for me. Hey, at least I admit it, I know all you guys love it to! Hell, if you were watching TV and you heard there was an explosion in China you'ld be like; "Awwwww" But if you heard there was one just down the road you'ld be like " Hot shit, come on lets got look at the bodies!" See, you know it.