You ever had one of those days when you notice more things than others?... (if you know what I mean) Like, little things start bugging you out more than others. You know they've always been there but for some reason, today they're just pissing you off!
Well, today I kept noticing, like 'sayings'. You know, proverbs, expressions and well, sayings for christ sake. You ever stopped to think about these for a few seconds? I have. (Well, now ive got all this free fuckin' time on my hands, i gotta do something!) But really, we've all been saying this shit like it make perfect sence!... I was watching the TV earlier and someone say "Oh, now he's out walking the streets" You know, when a guy get a parole they say "now instead of being in prison this guy is out walking the streets"... How do you know? Maybe he's at home banging the babysitter? Not everyone who gets a parole is "out walking the fuckin' streets" Alot of the time theyre out stealing a car. So I guess we should be glad. "Thank god he stole a car, at least he's not out walking the streets". Yeah, he's just mowing down old people instead. But then, there always that interview on the news, you know with the nextdoor neighbour of the serial killer? And they always say "Well, he was always very quiet", then someone in your house will always, without fail come back with: "Its the quiet ones you've gotta watch" ...Hmmmmm,
to me this sounds like a very dangerous assumtion. I will bet you anything that, while you're watching a quiet one, a noisy one will fucking kill you! Suppose you're in a pub, and theres one guy sitting next to you reading a book and minding his own buisness and on the other side theres a guy banging on the bar with a meat clever sreaming "Ill kill the next mother fucker that comes in here"! ...Who you gonna watch...? Yeah. 
Then theres; "Lock em' up and throw away the key"!... This is really fuckin' stupid. Where you gonna throw it? Right outside the prison? His fuckin' friend are gonna find it!! I mean, how far can you throw a key, 50, 60 feet tops? Even if you hold it on its side and like skim it, you know, you'll only get like an extra 10 feet off it max. This is a stupid idea and need to be completely re-thought!
Anyway, this got me thinking, theres so many they just piss me off now...
"The greatest thing since sliced bread"...
So this is it huh? A few hundred thousand years of evolution...?... The fuckin' Pyrimids for christ sake! The Panomar Canal, The Great Wall of China... even a lava lamp, is greater than sliced bread to me. What the big deal anyway? You got a knife, you got a loaf of bread, slice the fuckin' thing! 
And get on with your life.
"Takes the cake" ...where? Where do you take a cake?
The cinema? You know where I would take a cake?... Down to the bakery, to see the other cakes. And how come he "Takes the cake"? why doesnt he take the pie? Pie's easier to carry than cake... "Easy as pie" Well, cakes not to hard to carry either I guess; "Piece of cake". 
Here's one. "Walking papers" You heard this? Some guy gets sacked and you ask whats happening and someone say "Oh, poor guy, yeah they gave him his walking papers". Have you ever got any 'Walking papers'? Seriously. I mean, hell in my life ive been fired alot of times, you can proberly tell, but i never got any walking papers. Come to think of it, i didnt get any papers at all. You know what I got? Some guy come up to me and say " Get the fuck outta here, you're fired"!... Guess you dont need paper for that.
Its like the "riot act". They keep telling you they're gonna read that to you. Has anyone actully heard this thing, at all? Its mainly when you're a kid. You get threatened with it. My mum would always say, "You wait till you're dad get home, he's gonna read you the riot act"! "Well, tell him I already read it! And I didnt like it either, I consider it wordy and poorly thought out. If he wants to read me something, how about the readers letters in the Razzel i found in his waredrobe"!
This is one that confuses me; "Undisputed Heavy Weight Champion"... Well if its undisputed...What all the fuckin' fighting about!?
Here's one that gets me. "More than happy". Everyone's said it. "Oh, ild be more than happy..." How can you be more than happy!? To me this sounds like a dangerous mental condition. "We had to put Dave in the mental home. He was, more than happy." ...I not gonna use this one anymore.
And finally, something someone said to me about a week or so ago. "You know where you can stick it"! ...Well, why do we always assume everyonoe knows where they can stick it? Suppose you dont know, suppose you're a new guy. You have absolutely now idea where you can stick it. I think there should be a government booklet entitled "Where to stick it". Actully, come to think of it I belive there is a government booklet along those lines. You usually have to fill it in and get it back before a certain date...
Well, thats me just about done. As you can see these are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.
Well, today I kept noticing, like 'sayings'. You know, proverbs, expressions and well, sayings for christ sake. You ever stopped to think about these for a few seconds? I have. (Well, now ive got all this free fuckin' time on my hands, i gotta do something!) But really, we've all been saying this shit like it make perfect sence!... I was watching the TV earlier and someone say "Oh, now he's out walking the streets" You know, when a guy get a parole they say "now instead of being in prison this guy is out walking the streets"... How do you know? Maybe he's at home banging the babysitter? Not everyone who gets a parole is "out walking the fuckin' streets" Alot of the time theyre out stealing a car. So I guess we should be glad. "Thank god he stole a car, at least he's not out walking the streets". Yeah, he's just mowing down old people instead. But then, there always that interview on the news, you know with the nextdoor neighbour of the serial killer? And they always say "Well, he was always very quiet", then someone in your house will always, without fail come back with: "Its the quiet ones you've gotta watch" ...Hmmmmm,
to me this sounds like a very dangerous assumtion. I will bet you anything that, while you're watching a quiet one, a noisy one will fucking kill you! Suppose you're in a pub, and theres one guy sitting next to you reading a book and minding his own buisness and on the other side theres a guy banging on the bar with a meat clever sreaming "Ill kill the next mother fucker that comes in here"! ...Who you gonna watch...? Yeah.
Then theres; "Lock em' up and throw away the key"!... This is really fuckin' stupid. Where you gonna throw it? Right outside the prison? His fuckin' friend are gonna find it!! I mean, how far can you throw a key, 50, 60 feet tops? Even if you hold it on its side and like skim it, you know, you'll only get like an extra 10 feet off it max. This is a stupid idea and need to be completely re-thought!
Anyway, this got me thinking, theres so many they just piss me off now...
"The greatest thing since sliced bread"...
So this is it huh? A few hundred thousand years of evolution...?... The fuckin' Pyrimids for christ sake! The Panomar Canal, The Great Wall of China... even a lava lamp, is greater than sliced bread to me. What the big deal anyway? You got a knife, you got a loaf of bread, slice the fuckin' thing! And get on with your life.
"Takes the cake" ...where? Where do you take a cake?
The cinema? You know where I would take a cake?... Down to the bakery, to see the other cakes. And how come he "Takes the cake"? why doesnt he take the pie? Pie's easier to carry than cake... "Easy as pie" Well, cakes not to hard to carry either I guess; "Piece of cake".
Here's one. "Walking papers" You heard this? Some guy gets sacked and you ask whats happening and someone say "Oh, poor guy, yeah they gave him his walking papers". Have you ever got any 'Walking papers'? Seriously. I mean, hell in my life ive been fired alot of times, you can proberly tell, but i never got any walking papers. Come to think of it, i didnt get any papers at all. You know what I got? Some guy come up to me and say " Get the fuck outta here, you're fired"!... Guess you dont need paper for that.
Its like the "riot act". They keep telling you they're gonna read that to you. Has anyone actully heard this thing, at all? Its mainly when you're a kid. You get threatened with it. My mum would always say, "You wait till you're dad get home, he's gonna read you the riot act"! "Well, tell him I already read it! And I didnt like it either, I consider it wordy and poorly thought out. If he wants to read me something, how about the readers letters in the Razzel i found in his waredrobe"!
This is one that confuses me; "Undisputed Heavy Weight Champion"... Well if its undisputed...What all the fuckin' fighting about!?
Here's one that gets me. "More than happy". Everyone's said it. "Oh, ild be more than happy..." How can you be more than happy!? To me this sounds like a dangerous mental condition. "We had to put Dave in the mental home. He was, more than happy." ...I not gonna use this one anymore.
And finally, something someone said to me about a week or so ago. "You know where you can stick it"! ...Well, why do we always assume everyonoe knows where they can stick it? Suppose you dont know, suppose you're a new guy. You have absolutely now idea where you can stick it. I think there should be a government booklet entitled "Where to stick it". Actully, come to think of it I belive there is a government booklet along those lines. You usually have to fill it in and get it back before a certain date...
Well, thats me just about done. As you can see these are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
glade to hear that ur well
we will have to chat soon - good luck on the job hunt
Way too much.