agata

Im wearing a suit...

I think I look pretty good: Black suit, black shirt, red tie, dirty converse etc. Who the fuck wouldnt wanna employ me!?...

Well, everyone it seems. Fuckers.
I realise I went at this all a big half arsed, I know. I look good, but only to me. Ive got no motovation. I know its no excuse, but, well, ...FUCK YOU im depressed. Bite me. Hell, on the way into town I stopped to buy another 20 marlbrough reds and a bottle of Jage' (12 from the Uni campus shop. Bargin) I figured today would be shit anyway, so im just as well pissing the last of my cash away and drinking myself into a coma. Ive already polished off all the free Jage' I got sent. I think im building up an imunity... I got through 2 packets of reds today too. And it occured to me just a few minutes ago, that I cant actully taste anymore. This worries me. I had become quite attached to my sence of taste. We got on well Well, at least I can drink grapefuit juice without pull a stupid face now. Hmmmm doesnt really count for much though, as noone in my house buys grapefruit juice.
Anyway... Yeah the guy in the job center reception didnt have a complete hand. That freaked me out. People with missing limbs etc ... Scares me. Not sure why, but it does. So this got me thinking, what to I do when I leave...? Say 'Thanks' and shake his hand? I cant just scream 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!'? I cant do that.... Thats not even an option!
In the end I decided to wave... Yes, I proberly looked like a prick.

Well, that was my ultimate desision of the day as I pretty much came straight home and started drinking. Well, technacly I started in the job center. Then walking through town... and on the bus. But lets not nit pick. Either way, Im pissed now.

So, I got home about 12.30 and looked through the post. Its getting delivered later and later recently. Im gonna have to paintball the postman again. Ive stuck a post-it note on the inside of the front door to remind me, and one on the outside to warn him. You know, give him a sporting chance. It reads :
"Mr Postman. It has come to my attention that your deliveries are begining to slip. Im not happy with this, so in my wisdom I have decided to act. If the post is not through our door by 9am I will be waiting by my window (arrow) with a paintball gun. Have a nice day. Love Jay"
Im thinking 'Love Jay' was a bit strong...?

I got some of my photos of my time in Thailand back... Luckily there were only a few with 'her' in. These were disposed of. Ive scanned a few in and put them in a new folder in my pics section. Theres also a couple of new pics in my friends folder too.

So that took all of about half hour so now, Im bored... and have blurred vison. I really cant find anything to do. Im making a couple of SG banners of the UK SG's Nadine, October etc. (I need to up my SG Army points) But even this is pissing me off cus I dont know how to animate them ...They're looking abit lame in compareson to everyone elses Im gonna give up on this i think.

I could go and make explosives in the kitchen. I found an old model train track upstairs a few weeks ago and Ive got some saltpeter and magnesium ribbon somewhere, so I could make Thermite. ...I just cant be arsed. Napalm's pretty easy though...

I need to do anything to take my mind off things... ANYTHING. I cant stop to think about anything because more and more bad thoughts slip into my head. I dont want that, Im down enough as it is

I need sex. Offers on postcard to... lol only joking...

...but really, any offers would be apprechiated


You ever get that little feeling. That vu ja'de. Not Deja vu. This is vu ja'de. The strange feeling that none of this has ever happened before... hmmmm





Current state: Bruised, battered and bleeding (and checking my teeth)