againstmebomb

So me and my girlfriend broke up this morning. It's about the third time in 2 months. I think it's over for good though.

I feel like shit. We were together a long time. It sucks because this is the first relationship I have ever been in that was mutual. Most of my relationships are lop-sided, either I really like the girl and she only likes me a little or the other way around. Jessica and I actually love each other.

It doesn't help that I have been kinda depressed lately anyways. It also sucks because 2 nights ago we had one of those nights that are perfect. We sat around playing with her cats and trying to throw popcorn into each others mouths. Stupid but perfect.

Then today she said "we need to talk". I was just telling a friend the other day how I thought we got back together to soon. Turns out she was thinking it too.

I hate to admit it but most of our problems were about sex. I want it all the time and she seldom wants it. I know what your thinking, I must suck in bed right. Well I guess I'll never know. I thought the sex was great when she was in the mood. She does this insecure jealousy thing that I don't get. It drives me nuts. I think she is beautiful.

I have not been single in a real long time. I used to kinda like sleeping with strangers. But I really don't wanna do that anymore. I wish I wasn't so lustful.

Usaully people say sorry after writing such a long journal about how sad they are. But fuck that, you could have stopped reading after the first sentence.