afugazi

Well I am official retarded, it turns out that she was really busy with studying for OChem, but all of my sweetness I got freaked out and started thinking. When you are trapped in a single room in Boulder with Eli as your roommate and no money for gas to go anywhere, you start thinking about anything and everything.

So I am thinking like hey Jennifer probably just wasn't into me and I didn't know what I was doing and so that is probably the reason. After two days straight of just being trapped in the apartment, thinking about how I screwed up with the movie and Teahouse thing, I get the brilliant idea to send Jennifer a 3 page email explaining everything.

Now you have to understand two things, one that I was thinking way too much about the situtation for 2 days straight and two the email wasn't that bad, but it was 3 fucking pages. It was like this post, where I start rambling on a subject, but it was a little more focused than this post.

The email explained how I was overweight in high school (which she already knew from one of the nights we talked) and how I had never been on a date. But then I got to college and lost the weight, but I couldn't find a girl that was smart, funny, tall, and decent looking (if you question this part try seeing some of the girls in engineering that don't shower for like a week). But then I found her on facebook.com, which I thought was tacky, but I figure what the hell I just talk to her and see if I can just get a friend out of it, because we had a lot in common. But then I met her and she was everything I thought and more. So I asked all of friends for advice, and come to the conclusion that I should ask her out right way, even though that was against my gut instinct. I also explained that I was just really nervous around her, because I didn't want to screw this up and I was trying to remember all of the advice my friends gave me, and that I wasn't really myself, but more all of the advice that my friends gave me. Then the whole movie came about and how I thought the buying the movie tickets was a good idea at the time, but then I didn't know what I was doing at the movie. And then how the Teahouse was kind a vauge attempt at another date, but I didn't even know if the movie was a date and that I figured that it was better to let her know what was really going on and that I felt that I had screwed up the movie "date" thing. At the end of the 3 pages, I said that I felt that I rush everything, and that I really liked hanging out with her as a friend and maybe could just hang out sometime if she had some free time, if not I would totally respect her choice and no bother her again.

Now this was way to long of an email and I definitely sent it only 2 days after she said that she was going to be busy this week and she didn't know about next week. I don't know if it was way too much information all at once also, because we did talk lot about our childhood, families, beliefs, politics and a lot of other personal information, but it mostly likely was way too much info.

So for the past two days I have felt even worst, because I think I just sent her a really long, really weird email and she hasn't responded, which I don't blame her. It could be that she is just busy, but even if she has read the whole email, she is probably like what the fuck is this.

I had my friend Jon read the letter and he said that it was really personal, but I guess she now know how you feel, but it could be a little creepy. And then I had Max's girlfriend read the letter and she said that it was the sweetest thing that she has ever read, but a little long. So, I had one person saying it's creepy and the other person saying it's really good, just a little long.

So know I don't know what Jennifer thinks about it, but she probably won't talk to me again, because of my great 3 page email. And I don't want to bother her again, because I don't want to be just Eli and keep talking to girls that aren't interested, that's just creepy.

I just didn't want to fuck this up so bad, but now I think I pretty much did. I just wish I could take that email back, but what's done is done. From what I did get to know about her, she was everything that I was looking for, and not just because I really liked her and that blinded me, but because she actually did have everything that I was looking. I am sure there was somethings that I would find out that I didn't like about her, but she was the closest girl that I have found that was like me.

It's ironic that I waited and waited for the right girl to come along and now that I find her, I have no clue what I am doing and I do something sweet like this. In conclusion thinking is bad.

At least I won two tickets to the Lucero show on July 10th, if you read all of that and are still reading and want to go to the Lucero show with me just let me know.