Now I must say, that for the most part I am you're average American male. I like superheroes and action figures, I have a crapload of tools, I eat junk food constantly, I'm always watching action and horror movies, I drive fast and will go Bruce Lee on your ass if need be. However, after much consideration I have come to an interesting conclusion...
I'M A STRAIGHT GAY BEST FRIEND!
Evidence...
1. While analyzing my friends it is glaringly obvious that I have more female than male friends. For some reason it's always been easier to make friends with girls. I always seem to be the friendly, caring ear and the shoulder to cry on. Also whenever a female friend is blasting all men everywhere for being a bunch of bastards, they always say "except for you!"
2. I gossip like nobody's business!
3. I'm a shopaholic, and I mean REALLY, REALLY bad!
4. I'm artsy/crafty. As far as art goes I'm more likely to throw down some superheroes more than anything else. On the other hand I scrapbook all the time and when it comes to the holidays I'm like all out, attention to detail, Martha Stewart level, crazy. I've got better homes and gardens everywhere and my Christmas presents are over the top with pretty, handmade, ribbons and bows, not to mention the calligraphy on the tags and cards.
5. If I didn't have chocolate I would die.
6. I'm constantly wanting to style hair and give fashion advice. When I was little I actually said that I wanted to be a hair dresser once and my dad almost had a heart attack. Now mind you, I hate shopping for clothes with my wife, but only because I'm the aforementioned shopaholic and want to go buy stuff for myself. Otherwise, unlike a lot of guys, when I am asked about clothes I have really strong opinions and will give fashion guidance at the drop of a hat.
7. I'm a happy homemaker. If you've been reading my blog then you've seen my kitchen and the random crap I've been cooking. Just to give you an idea of how far I go, think steam cooked asparagus with brie sauce. Who does that? Furthermore I'm constantly cleaning and making everything spick and span. If I had a lilting singing voice and a squadron of forest critters I'd be f'ing Snow White.
8. I'm halfway through the Twilight series and reading it at a breakneck speed. Can a person physically feel the testosterone levels dropping as they turn each successive page?
9. The word fabulous rolls off my tongue like water over the Niagara.
10. Tearjerkers/Romantic Dramas or Comedies = My ass in seat with popcorn, tissues and/or ice cream. Mind you, part of this is that I am a movie nut, but, where most guys run for the hills when their girl suggests a movie, I'm like a crackhead. Often my response also includes, do you want to watch a musical. OH THE MUSICALS!!!!!
Now taking into account my all of my masculine traits I guess that you can chalk most of this up to the fact that I was sick a lot as a child, and therefore became an artistic type to keep myself entertained. Moreover, I was a bit of a momma's boy to boot, and thus am something of the nice sensitive guy as well.
After realizing this and the subject coming up in conversation, the consensus among my friends seems to be that it is absolutely true. I am indeed a STRAIGHT Gay Best friend. In the end, it works out in my favor though. You see, unlike your GAY Gay best friend, I am obsessively in love with pussy, tits and ass, and as I have discovered from all of those romantic movies, the girl's caring and supportive male best friend, is the one who ultimately wins out.
Just ask my wife!
I'M A STRAIGHT GAY BEST FRIEND!
Evidence...
1. While analyzing my friends it is glaringly obvious that I have more female than male friends. For some reason it's always been easier to make friends with girls. I always seem to be the friendly, caring ear and the shoulder to cry on. Also whenever a female friend is blasting all men everywhere for being a bunch of bastards, they always say "except for you!"
2. I gossip like nobody's business!
3. I'm a shopaholic, and I mean REALLY, REALLY bad!
4. I'm artsy/crafty. As far as art goes I'm more likely to throw down some superheroes more than anything else. On the other hand I scrapbook all the time and when it comes to the holidays I'm like all out, attention to detail, Martha Stewart level, crazy. I've got better homes and gardens everywhere and my Christmas presents are over the top with pretty, handmade, ribbons and bows, not to mention the calligraphy on the tags and cards.
5. If I didn't have chocolate I would die.
6. I'm constantly wanting to style hair and give fashion advice. When I was little I actually said that I wanted to be a hair dresser once and my dad almost had a heart attack. Now mind you, I hate shopping for clothes with my wife, but only because I'm the aforementioned shopaholic and want to go buy stuff for myself. Otherwise, unlike a lot of guys, when I am asked about clothes I have really strong opinions and will give fashion guidance at the drop of a hat.
7. I'm a happy homemaker. If you've been reading my blog then you've seen my kitchen and the random crap I've been cooking. Just to give you an idea of how far I go, think steam cooked asparagus with brie sauce. Who does that? Furthermore I'm constantly cleaning and making everything spick and span. If I had a lilting singing voice and a squadron of forest critters I'd be f'ing Snow White.
8. I'm halfway through the Twilight series and reading it at a breakneck speed. Can a person physically feel the testosterone levels dropping as they turn each successive page?
9. The word fabulous rolls off my tongue like water over the Niagara.
10. Tearjerkers/Romantic Dramas or Comedies = My ass in seat with popcorn, tissues and/or ice cream. Mind you, part of this is that I am a movie nut, but, where most guys run for the hills when their girl suggests a movie, I'm like a crackhead. Often my response also includes, do you want to watch a musical. OH THE MUSICALS!!!!!
Now taking into account my all of my masculine traits I guess that you can chalk most of this up to the fact that I was sick a lot as a child, and therefore became an artistic type to keep myself entertained. Moreover, I was a bit of a momma's boy to boot, and thus am something of the nice sensitive guy as well.
After realizing this and the subject coming up in conversation, the consensus among my friends seems to be that it is absolutely true. I am indeed a STRAIGHT Gay Best friend. In the end, it works out in my favor though. You see, unlike your GAY Gay best friend, I am obsessively in love with pussy, tits and ass, and as I have discovered from all of those romantic movies, the girl's caring and supportive male best friend, is the one who ultimately wins out.
Just ask my wife!
heartbaker:
Your all sorts of win
afroshean:
Why thank you!