This is a rant. Consider yourself warned.
I am completely insane.
But who isn't right? No, I am crazy. The first time I ever sat down with a shrink (not my choice), I was prescribed lithium (that's a long story, but that's all you need to know). I didn't keep it, I'll have you know.
My best friend is someone I have never even met before. I think he knows me better than I know myself.
Within a matter of an hour I can completely jump into an idea, so excited, and then go running the other way. I singlehandedly manage to scare the shit out of myself whenever I have something to look forward to. Like, I just know I will muck it up. That brain of mine, whoa, she's a doozy.
This best friend of mine, I hate when he is right. I was letting him in on everything going on with me lately, and how exciting and amazing it all is. Somehow that turned into the conversation about my brain. I mean, I know my way of thinking is a little strange, but when someone else realizes it....crap!! How the hell does he know me so well? (Okay, I'm letting my inner monologue out a bit, yeah...)
He says I just don't know how to be cautious, just defensive. Instead of being weary, I bring out the entire damn army, build walls and hide. I do. I know I do. "I think you're one of the types of people who have a trust problem & go all out one side or the other"
Damnit. Balance for me seems out of reach. It's always one or the other. I can never manage to find a healthy medium. ...but it's worked for me right? I'm doing good. I'm happy where I am and I'm smiling. That's a step in the right direction if you ask me.
Why don't I ever listen to me?
I'm passing 7am right now, and I'm wired. Damn him for spiking that conversation! I feel like I will never sleep again.
Focusss....
Scatterbrained. I didn't even eat any candy tonight.
I am completely insane.
But who isn't right? No, I am crazy. The first time I ever sat down with a shrink (not my choice), I was prescribed lithium (that's a long story, but that's all you need to know). I didn't keep it, I'll have you know.
My best friend is someone I have never even met before. I think he knows me better than I know myself.
Within a matter of an hour I can completely jump into an idea, so excited, and then go running the other way. I singlehandedly manage to scare the shit out of myself whenever I have something to look forward to. Like, I just know I will muck it up. That brain of mine, whoa, she's a doozy.
This best friend of mine, I hate when he is right. I was letting him in on everything going on with me lately, and how exciting and amazing it all is. Somehow that turned into the conversation about my brain. I mean, I know my way of thinking is a little strange, but when someone else realizes it....crap!! How the hell does he know me so well? (Okay, I'm letting my inner monologue out a bit, yeah...)
He says I just don't know how to be cautious, just defensive. Instead of being weary, I bring out the entire damn army, build walls and hide. I do. I know I do. "I think you're one of the types of people who have a trust problem & go all out one side or the other"
Damnit. Balance for me seems out of reach. It's always one or the other. I can never manage to find a healthy medium. ...but it's worked for me right? I'm doing good. I'm happy where I am and I'm smiling. That's a step in the right direction if you ask me.
Why don't I ever listen to me?
I'm passing 7am right now, and I'm wired. Damn him for spiking that conversation! I feel like I will never sleep again.
Focusss....
Scatterbrained. I didn't even eat any candy tonight.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
sauda:
I miss you too. 
It's been like, a week, but yeah I'm that clingy. 
It's been like, a week, but yeah I'm that clingy. 
davey_phoenix:
You ARE fucking crazy, but im not too sure all types of crazy are bad. Just keep going, its ok to be who you are.