affecta

How does it happen that people simply fall out of your life? You remember them when you hear a song or catch a clip of a movie, but their memory no longer fits in the daily routine of your life which is building a full-time career that includes 14 hour days and expense reports an trips to fancy conferences. Something resonates with me. I was text-messaging my work-obsessed father and he typed, "You're getting just like me now". I froze. Am I? Do I live to work? Do my personal relationships take a backseat to everything work? Absolutley. Not on purpose, but sort of on purpose. I wanted independence and suddenly it's there and in my face as I turn my palm on as we taxi back to the gate and I think why the fuck did I want to sell out so bad? The fancy clothes? The snobby connections? The jewelry? The new cars soon to follow. I remember being 21, naive as hell, and slipping fishnets under a skirt and turtleneck. I remember that girl sitting in the seats of the library at school and the pastry shops nearby and writing and reading poets until I was so full of lyric it was as if I was drunk on it. I don't know what happened to her or her aspirations. The best or worst part of it all is that this girl was absrtactly perfect and she never knew it.