affecta

It took a near-Herculean effort, but I got VIP package tickets to Tori. I am so thrilled over the moon. I don't think my brain has taken it all in yet, as it took almost all of yesterday and part of today to secure these. I have never met Tori and now I will get to. Words fail me.

I cannot believe that I am still headed in the career-direction I'm headed in. When I was 16, I tried to quit my first job and they wouldn't let me. I stayed until it became too much for me to take. Now over 12 years later, I want to walk and I'm too afraid to do it. I'm headed for success but it's not the...
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I love the west coast.
It feels like home.
The air is beautifully sharp
and the tap water is delicious.
Too bad I actually live in the east.
I don't think I will for much longer.
There's a history in the west.

Sherman Alexie autographed a book for me.
Kim Addonizio's new book sits on my nighstand, next to Natsuo Kirino's.
I never thought I'd...
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It's awful when the personal collides with the profesional, donthcha think? I loathe it. It's tacky. It's like waiting for a special day to wear your best jewelery or dress. Tacky. Turns out, if I speak my mind at work - They actually listen. Who knew?

I like my home kept immaculately clean yet I've no time to clean. And the three minutes I'm typing this won't buy me any more time. I used to have to-do lists that could be finished within a day, now I can't finish them in a week. 16 working days until vacation. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself when I don't...
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You are ten feet away from me playing sad songs and I am weeping inside. Outside, I am stoic and lost again. Exes three times over call me and tell me stories of their current affairs gone sour and I am picking up the pieces of your life when I cannot remember where I left mine.

I sat underneath that tree and everything seemed so easy and clear. But that's how things always feel when you detach. Real life isn't as poetic because we never have the time to stop and see it. We step back with a movie or a song or a break and we remember everything that we used to believe in and then we realize we are...
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I am leaving again this month - heading out west where I have an amazing oppurtunity through my job. It feels amazing.

Everything in life is cyclical. It's funny how it works that way. It's also interesting to me how your thoughts that go out into the universe come back to you.

I am exhausted. I work too much. Crazy, novel thought, but true. What I'm doing is a "labor of love". People say that. It's a term they use when they think their work is important. Yes, the curriculums I'm adding to my work are important, but they're professionally important. We're not eliminating poverty or world debt here. We're not even growing free range chickens. SO...
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When I post a new blog, it says: You are Affecta, it should say: You are Affected. By everything - the wind blowing, the seaons changing, the swing of a mood.

Some people amaze me with their seemingly endless capabiltiy to forgive, to move on, not to dwell. I dwell. I hold onto things for forever. Not tangible things. I don't keep charms or bits...
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Flip me upside-fucking down. I think I had a mini-breakdown today. A mini, mini, baby one. I hate it when people see me vulnerable. Hate it. And just like that - she can knock me over with a pin and I want to freak the fuck out. We all have a niche a "specialty" if you will. Fuck. Let me do mine. Accept that someone...
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