as im getting older im learning that it isnt your lovers or friends that can hurt you the most but the people you have considered family since you knew what family meant. the people you've grown up with your whole life have a special knack for making words and actions hurt 20x more simply because of who they are. and isnt it just a bitch when the "family" you've shared your life with suddenly fall off the face of the planet and decide you arent worth their time or the title of family because the individuals who made you a family have passed away.
also what is the point of a friendship if you cannot talk to the person about something that is bothering you and you dont even like them? is that really a friendship? why would you continue to plaster a smile on your face and laugh at their jokes?
why would you pretend to be happy to see someone who genuinely cares for you only to talk about them behind their back? how can problems be solved if no one talks? how can issues to resolved between loved ones if you simply fake your way through the interactions?
and fuck you internet, fuck you facebook, fuck you IMing fuck you email. screw all of it for making personal interactions difficult. for allowing recipients to take my words that have no sound and twist them into your own idea. for making writing a simple letter an arduous task because you have to think about what every sentence and phrase could possibly mean to the other person. for a simple letter/email/request to be made convenient is hardly worth the frustration caused by someones interpretation of my words. give me a phone or a face to face conversation because smiley faces do not make for emotion and the inflection of ones voice.
but of course they are all too busy to call. or scared to hear that emotion in my voice.
im going camping this weekend and im hoping the woodlands of central Wisconsin will help center and cleanse me of this frustration and hurt.
also there is employment in my horizon. not ideal but hours and paychecks will suffice at this point.
also what is the point of a friendship if you cannot talk to the person about something that is bothering you and you dont even like them? is that really a friendship? why would you continue to plaster a smile on your face and laugh at their jokes?
why would you pretend to be happy to see someone who genuinely cares for you only to talk about them behind their back? how can problems be solved if no one talks? how can issues to resolved between loved ones if you simply fake your way through the interactions?
and fuck you internet, fuck you facebook, fuck you IMing fuck you email. screw all of it for making personal interactions difficult. for allowing recipients to take my words that have no sound and twist them into your own idea. for making writing a simple letter an arduous task because you have to think about what every sentence and phrase could possibly mean to the other person. for a simple letter/email/request to be made convenient is hardly worth the frustration caused by someones interpretation of my words. give me a phone or a face to face conversation because smiley faces do not make for emotion and the inflection of ones voice.
but of course they are all too busy to call. or scared to hear that emotion in my voice.
im going camping this weekend and im hoping the woodlands of central Wisconsin will help center and cleanse me of this frustration and hurt.
also there is employment in my horizon. not ideal but hours and paychecks will suffice at this point.
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