aeryka

im pretty low today. i had to deal with my ex yesterday in order to get back some paints of mine. it did not go well at all. i had hoped that we could put aside all of our issues to make this quick transaction. i was hoping to also get some of the cavases since there is really no way to prove who paid for what when we bought all of them all those years ago. he was having none of that. plus we had done a painting together on a very large canvas. i had never had any inspiration to finish it and had felt that it was finished. lately i had thought of it and had some ideas and was hoping to acquire it in my interaction with him. in the end it turned into a he said she said fight leaving me in tears. and then a text fight with the usual cruel sayings. in the end he gave into giving me the painting. i tired to get him to see that he was getting out on top here with all the other oils, canvases and higher quality acrylics. but i just wanted my paints and the painting.

he put them outside on his porch and after i picked them up i texted him saying sorry this was so difficult but thankyou for this cuz i really needed it. to which i get a nasty reply of piss off. i dont get how i can try to be so nice only to get shit on again. i know that hes cutting me out of his life because its easiest for him to blame all his problems on me. he feels likes hes off the hook right now but sooner or later he will come to realize that his social issues are his own fault. one day he will see what hes done and how hes changed. its certainly not my fault the the cant get along with anyone in his life. but he isnt the man i felt in love with, he isnt the guy that all my good memories contain. not anymore.

and i couldnt stop dreaming about him last night. i kept waking up all on edge from dreaming about us fighting and him screaming at me. needless to say ive woken up feeling like ive run a million miles and cried a thousand tears in my sleep. plus i had another dream with several of my favorite guy friends in it and it was very stressful and things kept disappearing in the dream so i was upset and running around. everything out of my control. which i guess is how ive felt lately. things out of my control, with nothing that i can do.

work sucks but ill be making more money that i ever have in this new position once i learn how to do it.

in other news i got a new piercing! since i cant get any in my face due to my impending and hopefully soon apprenticeship and/or interview at a funeral home i decide to adorn my vagina.


i just realized how swollen it is in this picture. ill have to take another one when its healed. it will be prettier then.

according to Hank at Tattoo Factory in Chicago i have great labia for piercing but i dont know if i want anymore down there. i really like the way my vertical and horizontal look together. i think it hurt more than the vertical and the healing is def a little different and longer. its always fun when i meet someone new and we start to get busy and they find my piercing. now there will be two to find and get excited about! Hank is a great piercer and hes the only person i trusted to do this. while it cost a bit more than i was looking to spend i felt the most comfortable with him doing it.

well i hope everyone in SG land is well. Stop by Dorsal's page. She had a baby girl last week! Shes adorable!