aegiswings

Today will be a 3-in-1 journal.

Part I - I Pimp out my roommate
A couple of days ago I discovered this Super Cool Disco Dance Floor. I was built by a bunch of MIT students. Those of you who are regular readers of Slashdot may recognize it. If you have the time, download the videos, they are mesmerizing. Anyways, it made me get all nostalgic for college when my friends and I used to do crazy projects like that (though nothing that cool). Also, it made me wish I had gone to MIT (my parents didn't want me to go).

Anyways, I showed this to my roommate Margaret and she though it was awesome too and suggested that we try and get invited to a party there. I asked her if I could use her to get invited, she said "sure", though I'm not exactly sure if she understood what I meant.

Here is part of the e-mail I sent:
> Let me just tell you that my roommate is a hott, female, 22-year-old
> recent BU grad. She is single (mostly) and loves nerdy guys! She was a
> biomedical engineering major at BU, so she's not so dumb herself! Just
> between you and me, she likes to party, if you know what I mean.
>
> Just in case a girl gets this, I'm a handsome 20-something guy who loves
> smart women! I like to party too.

I got the first message back from them today:
> I call dibs on your roommates hot female friend! [sic]
>
Well, obviously he didn't exactly READ the e-mail that closely - Marg is my roommate, not my roommate's friend, but we'll let that slide, he probably is under lots of stress from school. Anyways, I looked him up and found that he is actually the best looking of all the MIT guys who built the floor (in my opinion as a straight guy). Score!, for Margaret. I forwarded his pic to her, but I dunno what she thinks yet. He also has the l33t soldering skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Part II - I get bored at work
I dislike my job immensely, and I find it harder and harder to concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing. It's a long story that stretches over many many months, but lets just say my job is *not* a very happy place to be.
So, I decided to make a list of all the single women that I know, that are of the appropriate ages and that I'm at least the slightest bit interested in. I had about 20. Then I listed them again, except this time in the order of desirability, and one last time in order of how attainable they are. Now, I figure there must be some formula I can plug this data in that well tell me the best way to spend my time. ..

Yes, I realize this is quite pathetic and perhaps a little bit misogynistic but it's also fuckin' hilarious. (heh, actually that applies to Part I too).

Part III - I get pissed off about Time Management Training
I copied the following from my Myspace journal...

I got this memo at work yesterday from my boss's boss informing me that I was selected, along with 5 other coworkers, to attend "Time Management Training." It's a series of both group and personal sessions totalling 5 hours over the next few weeks. A little investigation led me to discover that it was being run by this company This was this the first I'd heard of it. Now, if you know me, "training" classes like these are some of my worst nightmares. I'd do anything to avoid attending this class.

In an effort to get all this negative energy out of my system and produce a PBC (Positive Behavior Change), I decided to fill out the final questionnaire and survey in advance. Now, maybe I don't actually have to attend. I've pasted it below....

===========================================================

Thank you for attending our Time Management Training (TMT) tm seminar. I hope you've enjoyed your experience and implement the techniques you've learned here in your everyday life and career.

Please fill out the following questionnaire so we can evaluate TMT and improve it for future clients. All your answers will be kept confidential.


FINAL QUESTIONNAIRE AND SURVEY

1) Why did you decide to attend Time Management Training (TMT) tm?

Apparently, I witnessed one of my superiors breaking company policy in a way
that would surely get him fired. Sending me to TMT for reprogramming was his
way of reasserting his authority over me and making sure I never forget
who's "the boss".

2) What time-saving techniques have you learned that you plan on applying
now that you've completed Time Management Training (TMT) tm.

Well, I can think of a few things:

-I plan on parking in the handicap spots at the office and pretending to
limp into the building thus shaving precious minutes of my commute by
avoiding the long walk across the parking lot.

- I will stop washing my hands after using using the bathroom at work,
especially if its just a number 1, giving me extra time at my desk for
writing code.

- I will go back and delete old e-mails on my hard drive that I don't need
anymore so the nightly backups run faster.

3) Can you think of any situations where Time Management Training (TMT) tm
techniques would have helped you in the past?

Well, I can think of one way that I could have saved 5 hours...

4) What is the most important thing you feel you have learned from Time
Management Training (TMT) tm?

I've learned that I can make way more money by preaching to others in vauge
terms about "productivity" instead of actually doing real work.

5) Do you have any questions about the material covered in the Time
Management Training sessions?

I'm confused by this formula: girls = time * money, but we also know that
time is money, so time = money. We get girls = money ^ 2. But money is the
root of evil, so m.. evil ^ 1/2. That means girls = /-evil? I don't
quite get it.

6) Are there any Time Management Training (TMT) tm techniques that you feel
you still don't quite understand?

Yes, I am still a little confused about Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day
Time Cube. So you are saying that "Creation is cubic" and the hollow Time
Cube in which the 4 quadrant corners of Earth rotate, equates to your 4
corner bedroom?

7) Do you have any suggestions on how we can improve Time Management
Training (TMT) tm?

I think you should include more real life examples of the benefits of TMT.
For example, a case-study on how Mussolini made the trains run on time.

8) Do you have any questions about the Time Management Training course
materials (TMT) tm?

Yes, you know Judy, your hot assistant who lugged around all the course
materials? What a body on her! I'd like to ride that ass all night long.
Have you gotten with that yet? You must have. Not to be rude, but do you
think I could get her digits?

9) Finally, are there any other questions that you'd like to ask that were
not covered during the Time Management Training (TMT) TM sessions?

Yes, Is it really true that you live in a van down by the river?