DRUNKEN BIRTHDAY RANT:
(the above is a warning, lol)
I totally came here planning on ranting about what a lousy day I had. But then I came here and found 4 "happy birthday" comments waiting for me and I didn't feel like ranting so much anymore. Thank you for cheering me up.
Now, for everyone else
So, I wasn't in the best mood today. I guess I was depressed, but not cause it was my birthday. A combination of a lot of things, I suppose. You know you are depressed when you spend all more at work surfing the web looking at
Giger paintings.
It started last week when the Yankees lost. Even though, I really didn't care so much, it set the mood for my whole week. And in Boston, it is impossible to avoid baseball. I can't wait until it is over and this city gets back to normal! I see everyone around me so excited and I really wish I could share in their excitement, but I cant, and that makes me feel left out and alienated.
Its been kind of stressful at work too. Huge deadline on Thursday, and I'm also coming up on my 6-month review (and I haven't finished my goals yet).
In two weeks, my ex-gf Mayumi is coming to visit from Japan, and I'm, um, well, kind of dreading it. Well, thats a strong word, but its going to be difficult. Its a really long story - I'll tell it sometime.
I hate being single! I think I decided that I don't like it a while ago. I'm at that unfortunate stage where I feel bitter towards people in happy relationships. I can't believe I actually flame on boston.com marriage forums. I really am embarassed about that. It is totally childish, immature, misogynistic, whatever. It is just so *satisfying* to put over-zealous brides in their place.
This is sort of a continual issue for me. So much so that if I actually *had* a gf, I wouldn't know what to do with my life. Sort of like if the Red Sox won the world series. They wouldn't be the underdog anymore...what now? Or after Inigo Montoya avenged his father's death....
More immediately, I was worried no one would show up for my birthday dinner today. Its sort of a tradition that my friends take me out to dinner on my birthday, and I judge the success of my life based on how many people show up. For the last 6 years, its been Japanese food. This year we went to Fugakyu which is the nicest Japanese restaurant I know of in Boston. Usually at least 6 of my friends come (I usually make the invite list and give it to my friend Shawn, who organizes it). This year, though, there was only 4 people, and one was Christina (Shawn's gf, so she doesn't count). Amy, Shawn's roommate said she couldn't make it, citing money issues and a test she has tomorrow, but I thought that was sort of a weird excuse. I was kind of unhappy about it. She did call me this evening though, to wish me a Happy Birthday, which made me feel a lot better. I mostly forgive her now. I also invited my roommate Margaret (see past entries for stories
) She never responded to the invite e-mail though. I didn't know what to think. I thought about asking Shawn to ask her again, but I thought maybe she had an issue like Amy and didn't want to spend the money, and I didn't want to pressure her.
When I came home this evening to shower and change, she was here watching TV and making herself some food. I didn't want to bring it my birthday dinner, cause I figured it could be an awkward situation and I wanted to save face. Isn't it so appropriate that I'm going out for Japanese food and so I try to behave "Japanese"? lol.
Well, when I came home tonight, Margaret was all like "was it your birthday???" and she came in and sat on my bed and apologized. It seems that she had forgotten, and that she had wanted to go and that she had meant to reply to the e-mail too. Knowing how much she loves "holidays", it makes sense that she'd want to come to a birthday party. But at the time, I couldn't tell whether I was putting her out by inviting her. Anyways, she felt guilty and she offered to take me out on Thursday for cake and booze. In hindsight, I kind of feel silly not reminding her, but honestly, it should be more fun hanging out on Thursday than my dinner was tonight
I don't quite understand Margaret. She's a friendly person, but sometimes she seems kind of remote, unfriendly, shy maybe, or cold. Of course, its ridiculous for me to say that because I can be incredibly introverted and shy myself. Anyways, on Saturday, I invited her to go apple picking. The intention was that I'd bring some friends along and she could bring some too, but no one else wanted to/could go so it ended up being just the two of us. Here is a (kind of blurry) pic I took of Margaret in a tree.
It was a lot of fun. Had it been a date, it would have been a good one. (Sad to say I think like that).
Margaret has mentioned in the past that she has issues being friends with guys. "They always try to get in my pants," she says. She has two sisters, and as far as I can tell, all her friends are girls. I don't think she really has had a guy friend that isn't a boyfriend. (Billy Crystal would say its impossible).
A little while ago, I decided I would take up the noble quest of becoming her first guy friend who didn't try to get in her pants. Of course, that means there is no chance for a more-than-friends relationship, but I'm used to that, and its probably a good idea since she is one of my roommates and everything.
Sara, my estranged roommate is still away in Jersey. Wow, its been like, almost 3 months now? Word is that she is coming back Friday to move back for good (she finally found a job!).
(the above is a warning, lol)
I totally came here planning on ranting about what a lousy day I had. But then I came here and found 4 "happy birthday" comments waiting for me and I didn't feel like ranting so much anymore. Thank you for cheering me up.
Now, for everyone else
So, I wasn't in the best mood today. I guess I was depressed, but not cause it was my birthday. A combination of a lot of things, I suppose. You know you are depressed when you spend all more at work surfing the web looking at
Giger paintings.
It started last week when the Yankees lost. Even though, I really didn't care so much, it set the mood for my whole week. And in Boston, it is impossible to avoid baseball. I can't wait until it is over and this city gets back to normal! I see everyone around me so excited and I really wish I could share in their excitement, but I cant, and that makes me feel left out and alienated.
Its been kind of stressful at work too. Huge deadline on Thursday, and I'm also coming up on my 6-month review (and I haven't finished my goals yet).
In two weeks, my ex-gf Mayumi is coming to visit from Japan, and I'm, um, well, kind of dreading it. Well, thats a strong word, but its going to be difficult. Its a really long story - I'll tell it sometime.
I hate being single! I think I decided that I don't like it a while ago. I'm at that unfortunate stage where I feel bitter towards people in happy relationships. I can't believe I actually flame on boston.com marriage forums. I really am embarassed about that. It is totally childish, immature, misogynistic, whatever. It is just so *satisfying* to put over-zealous brides in their place.
This is sort of a continual issue for me. So much so that if I actually *had* a gf, I wouldn't know what to do with my life. Sort of like if the Red Sox won the world series. They wouldn't be the underdog anymore...what now? Or after Inigo Montoya avenged his father's death....
More immediately, I was worried no one would show up for my birthday dinner today. Its sort of a tradition that my friends take me out to dinner on my birthday, and I judge the success of my life based on how many people show up. For the last 6 years, its been Japanese food. This year we went to Fugakyu which is the nicest Japanese restaurant I know of in Boston. Usually at least 6 of my friends come (I usually make the invite list and give it to my friend Shawn, who organizes it). This year, though, there was only 4 people, and one was Christina (Shawn's gf, so she doesn't count). Amy, Shawn's roommate said she couldn't make it, citing money issues and a test she has tomorrow, but I thought that was sort of a weird excuse. I was kind of unhappy about it. She did call me this evening though, to wish me a Happy Birthday, which made me feel a lot better. I mostly forgive her now. I also invited my roommate Margaret (see past entries for stories
) She never responded to the invite e-mail though. I didn't know what to think. I thought about asking Shawn to ask her again, but I thought maybe she had an issue like Amy and didn't want to spend the money, and I didn't want to pressure her.
When I came home this evening to shower and change, she was here watching TV and making herself some food. I didn't want to bring it my birthday dinner, cause I figured it could be an awkward situation and I wanted to save face. Isn't it so appropriate that I'm going out for Japanese food and so I try to behave "Japanese"? lol.
Well, when I came home tonight, Margaret was all like "was it your birthday???" and she came in and sat on my bed and apologized. It seems that she had forgotten, and that she had wanted to go and that she had meant to reply to the e-mail too. Knowing how much she loves "holidays", it makes sense that she'd want to come to a birthday party. But at the time, I couldn't tell whether I was putting her out by inviting her. Anyways, she felt guilty and she offered to take me out on Thursday for cake and booze. In hindsight, I kind of feel silly not reminding her, but honestly, it should be more fun hanging out on Thursday than my dinner was tonight
I don't quite understand Margaret. She's a friendly person, but sometimes she seems kind of remote, unfriendly, shy maybe, or cold. Of course, its ridiculous for me to say that because I can be incredibly introverted and shy myself. Anyways, on Saturday, I invited her to go apple picking. The intention was that I'd bring some friends along and she could bring some too, but no one else wanted to/could go so it ended up being just the two of us. Here is a (kind of blurry) pic I took of Margaret in a tree.
It was a lot of fun. Had it been a date, it would have been a good one. (Sad to say I think like that).
Margaret has mentioned in the past that she has issues being friends with guys. "They always try to get in my pants," she says. She has two sisters, and as far as I can tell, all her friends are girls. I don't think she really has had a guy friend that isn't a boyfriend. (Billy Crystal would say its impossible).
A little while ago, I decided I would take up the noble quest of becoming her first guy friend who didn't try to get in her pants. Of course, that means there is no chance for a more-than-friends relationship, but I'm used to that, and its probably a good idea since she is one of my roommates and everything.
Sara, my estranged roommate is still away in Jersey. Wow, its been like, almost 3 months now? Word is that she is coming back Friday to move back for good (she finally found a job!).
dudeidontknow