I'm ridiculously tired.I was up until 4:30am or so last night which by itself isn't so bad but I was up until 5am on Monday and I think it's caught up with me.
I'm not in a terribly good mood. My roommate moved out today. She packed up all her stuff, and left me a check for the gas bill which is ten dollars less than it should be. Apparently she can't divide by two. Even worse, she seems to have packed up and taken my can opener. Which means I can no longer eat as all my nutrients come from canned food, mainly canned tuna. I don't have a new roommate yet so I'm all alone for now.
My parents were in town last weekend and they shampooed my rug for me Monday morning. Tuesday, when I woke up, I noticed that one of my cats had vomitted all over it.
I'm realizing this journal entry is sounding *really* weird. I think it's because I've just been reading The Worst Web Comic Ever Written. Yes, the art is horrible. No, it isn't funny at all and it makes absolutely no sense. And at times it is very very creepy. Very creepy. I don't recommend checking it out.
I'm depressed because I think the party I'm having on Saturday is going to be a disaster because no one is going to show up. But of course, I shouldn't say that here because then everyone will know it will suck and they definitely won't come making it even suckier. I have this weird desire to just uninvite everyone and have the party all by myself and drink and dance around and post pics of it all on flickr.
I'm going through this phase where I've been full of self-loathing recently. I try to mediate it by projecting my hate onto other people but it's not working. Ultimately, I just end up with a general dislike of others because my instinctiual reactions to social situations so often are just... wrong. For example, when I like someone, I tend to try to be nice to them to the extent that I neglect my own desires. It's true that can make for some strong friendships, of which I have at least a few, but it's a horrible plan in the dating world.
My mood is not helped by the fact that I'm listening to the most fucked-up music. Right now it's "Cosmic Dancer" by T. Rex. This song produces a very distinct mental image in my mind. Unfortunately, one that I am unable to put into words right now though. Before that I listened to Morphine which isn't exactly the happiest band in the world (I love them though). All of this music was downloaded onto my computer and introduced to me by Sarah last night at like 3am. She has the most interesting taste in music. I don't know anyone else like her. She is the only person I know who will hug and kiss me while simultaneously tell me how great her bf is. I think I need to take a pilgrimage down to Mark Sandman Square (an intersection in Central Square a couple miles from me). Sarah and I actually discovered it one drunken night last summer. Mark Sandman was the frontman for Morphine (he passed away in the late 90's).
I've decided to look and buy some music composing software for my mac. Nothing fancy, just something that lets me click and put notes on a musical staff. I used to have such a program when I was in college and I'd have a great time taking a melody from a song and arranging with my own harmony, and then extending it. And after working on it for a while - several key and tempo changes later - it would become unrecognizable. It was always a wonderous journey. So, I want to write some electronic music now. Mostly because I lack the coordination, sense of tone and rhythm to actually play an instrument adequately myself. But I have a very mathematical mind and I enjoy learning about music theory and experiementing. Does this make for good music? No, usually such a mechanical approach does not. But I enjoy doing it. I also want to write everything in just intonation which means I'd have to alter the frequency of all the notes everytime there was a key change. Perhaps I'll have to write custom software to do that. (I love writing software). I wonder how that would actually sound.
Now I've begun to ramble, so I'm going to save this entry now and get some sleep.
I'm not in a terribly good mood. My roommate moved out today. She packed up all her stuff, and left me a check for the gas bill which is ten dollars less than it should be. Apparently she can't divide by two. Even worse, she seems to have packed up and taken my can opener. Which means I can no longer eat as all my nutrients come from canned food, mainly canned tuna. I don't have a new roommate yet so I'm all alone for now.
My parents were in town last weekend and they shampooed my rug for me Monday morning. Tuesday, when I woke up, I noticed that one of my cats had vomitted all over it.
I'm realizing this journal entry is sounding *really* weird. I think it's because I've just been reading The Worst Web Comic Ever Written. Yes, the art is horrible. No, it isn't funny at all and it makes absolutely no sense. And at times it is very very creepy. Very creepy. I don't recommend checking it out.
I'm depressed because I think the party I'm having on Saturday is going to be a disaster because no one is going to show up. But of course, I shouldn't say that here because then everyone will know it will suck and they definitely won't come making it even suckier. I have this weird desire to just uninvite everyone and have the party all by myself and drink and dance around and post pics of it all on flickr.
I'm going through this phase where I've been full of self-loathing recently. I try to mediate it by projecting my hate onto other people but it's not working. Ultimately, I just end up with a general dislike of others because my instinctiual reactions to social situations so often are just... wrong. For example, when I like someone, I tend to try to be nice to them to the extent that I neglect my own desires. It's true that can make for some strong friendships, of which I have at least a few, but it's a horrible plan in the dating world.
My mood is not helped by the fact that I'm listening to the most fucked-up music. Right now it's "Cosmic Dancer" by T. Rex. This song produces a very distinct mental image in my mind. Unfortunately, one that I am unable to put into words right now though. Before that I listened to Morphine which isn't exactly the happiest band in the world (I love them though). All of this music was downloaded onto my computer and introduced to me by Sarah last night at like 3am. She has the most interesting taste in music. I don't know anyone else like her. She is the only person I know who will hug and kiss me while simultaneously tell me how great her bf is. I think I need to take a pilgrimage down to Mark Sandman Square (an intersection in Central Square a couple miles from me). Sarah and I actually discovered it one drunken night last summer. Mark Sandman was the frontman for Morphine (he passed away in the late 90's).
I've decided to look and buy some music composing software for my mac. Nothing fancy, just something that lets me click and put notes on a musical staff. I used to have such a program when I was in college and I'd have a great time taking a melody from a song and arranging with my own harmony, and then extending it. And after working on it for a while - several key and tempo changes later - it would become unrecognizable. It was always a wonderous journey. So, I want to write some electronic music now. Mostly because I lack the coordination, sense of tone and rhythm to actually play an instrument adequately myself. But I have a very mathematical mind and I enjoy learning about music theory and experiementing. Does this make for good music? No, usually such a mechanical approach does not. But I enjoy doing it. I also want to write everything in just intonation which means I'd have to alter the frequency of all the notes everytime there was a key change. Perhaps I'll have to write custom software to do that. (I love writing software). I wonder how that would actually sound.
Now I've begun to ramble, so I'm going to save this entry now and get some sleep.
at leas the part of the rug the car didn't throw up on is still clean?
my cat pissed on the stove once.... no actually twice... then we tried to make pasta and burned all the piss off and the house was filled with black smoke and reeked of urine for about a week.... yummm
i'll probably be coming to ceremony more often now that i've been there for the first time.