oh my, what a day. Some of me wishes today never happened, but other parts of me realize that it probably was for the best. I've learned a bit about negative side of people and I've learned that I have to be more careful with my heart and I have so closure to at least one episode in my life.
,..
I'm recovering from a bad cold so I slept late today. In fact, I woke up at about 1pm when Sarah called me and asked if I wanted to go shopping with her. I reluctantly said yes and she gave me some time to shower and get ready. We ate lunch together and went to the mall.
I got home in the evening with just enough time to shower again so I could pick {MEMBER=Sid] and take her to Toast. Toast was uneventful, except I learned that one of my friends who worked there was fired today and in response my other friend (her boyfriend) quit. I was a bit upset about that. They decided to have a party tonight in order to forget about the recent events and they asked me to find people to bring to the party. Toast was kind of empty but I noticed a guy who was with three very attractive women and I could tell he wasn't really *with* any of them. I kind of wanted to talk to the cute one, but I was far too shy, so I asked my friend to invite them to the party. He did, but found out that they had already been invited (yay
). Sid and I left the club a little early and headed to the party.
The party was quiet at first but then the guy and the cutest of the three girls showed up (the one I wanted to meet). I was really happy and I started talking to them -- I got them beers and introduced them to the others at the party. Now, I can act a bit effeminate when I am drunk and it became obvious to me that the guy with the girl was gay. The girl was his roommate, he said, and I learned that she was straight and single and lived just down the street from me. He was very protective of her and since she was probably the only single, straight woman there, he needed to be. I was distracted from talking to some other people and when I went back to talk to her, there was this guy talking and talking to her. Anyone could tell that she wasn't really into talking to him, but he was being persistent and annoying, He was also a bit drunk. In the meantime, her gay friend began to hit on me
. He asked me to have a smoke with him and so on. I gave it some time, figuring that the annoying guy would give up and I could chat with her some more. But after a while, I think she just got annoyed and they began to get ready to leave, without me ever getting a chance to talk to her again. I made a last ditch effort and talked to her briefly and asked if she was on myspace (she wasn't) but it was apparent she wasn't in really the mood to talk to anyone at that point and they quickly left. I was pissed! This happened to me at my party too. I'm always being foiled by these creepy obnoxious guys who scare away all the single women. I'm making sure none of them show up at my next party. I'll probably never see her again and I didn't get as much as a e-mail or IM address. Oh well, you know, it didn't seem like she was that into me either.
Afterwards, I went back to talking to the other partiers and I met this cute girl who my friend Josh told me was straight and lilely single. We talked a little bit and seemed to be hitting it off and then she told me she was a lesbian. I didn't believe her at first (Josh had said otherwise) and I joked about it but she kept on insisting that she was. I talked to her a little more and then gave up, because it was apparent that either she was or didn't want me to think she was straight, and I really didn't know what to say to her then. Still, up to that point it was not such a bad night, but then...
She showed up... by "she", I mean the girl who I had hooked up with at Toast last month. To make a long story short, we met at Toast right before Thanksgiving after talking and flirting and making out a bit, I ended up going back to her place and spending the night (we fooled around, but no sex). The next morning she gave me her number and I told her I would call. I called her a couple of days later and left a message. Then at the end of the week I left another message. She never responded, so I decided to give up. But then, the next week she saw me at the gym and she approached me. We chatted for a little bit and I mentioned that I called her, but never heard from her. She told me that she had had a really busy week and she hadn't been returning any calls - that it just wasn't me. And she said that I should text message her next time because she always responded to text messages. And that she hasn't been in a good mood recently, but I should drag her out sometime anyways. So I waited till the end of the week and I texted her. Still no answer. So a couple of days later I texted her again. And then one more time. She never responded. Still confused, I decided to give up. That was about 2 weeks ago. I never tried to contact her again.
And now tonight, she walks into the party and I want to just run and hide, but I figured I'll be polite and wave hello. I say 'hi' to her and she comes up to me and gives me a quick hug and tells me she just got off work. She then goes and talks to some of her friends. I wait for a time to approach her alone so I can talk to her if she seems interested. Before I can, my good friend Josh comes up to me and tells me that her friend told him that I shouldn't approach her or try to talk to her because it would make her feel awkward. I was like..."wtf??!!" I seriously felt like I was in junior high school or something. Now I was the one who was feeling awkward. I was thinking about everything I could of done wrong and I wanted to let her know that if she *wasn't* interested in me, it was ok, and I wouldn't feel awkward. But now, by telling her friends that I shouldn't go near her or talk to her, it was making me feel very uncomfortable. I had to spend the rest of the night on one side of the room avoiding her and all the people she was talking with, while she actively avoided me. I felt like I had split the party in two, and I was pissed. I was good friends with both women who were hosting the party and she had never even been to their house before, but they were all talking with her and I felt abandoned by my friends. I was really angry and really hurt. Not because I felt rejected by her. Not because she didn't want to talk to me. I had given up on that long ago. But because now the whole party seemed to be avoiding me. And several of them retreated into a bedroom with her while I was left out in the living room alone, with the drunks and the passed out. I wasn't sure where I was welcome anymore and who I could talk to and who I couldn't. And I had no idea what she was telling the other people at the party about me or about what happened. Apparently, I was some kind of pushy jerk who just didn't get the point and kept on calling her? I dunno. I would have left right then but I wasn't sober enough to drive yet so I needed to chill a little bit more.
Many hours later when she and her friends left, she politely waved at my friend who I was talking to at the time but totally ignored me, and the polite wave I gave to her. After she was gone, my friends, who had talked to her, just told me to forget about her. I told them I had -- I just wanted to know what the deal was and why I was made to feel like an asshole. If she had just been mature about it...hell if she had just ignored me, it would have been fine, but why did she show up and ruin my evening? Why did it have to be so ridiculuous. I fucking never did anything to her. What a fucking bitch.
I know it's stupid for me to be pissed, but I feel like I go out of my way to be nice to people and sometimes I just get treated like shit. Even worse she is the last girl I've as much as kissed in months, since the summer,
and if it was just a fling, fine, it's just a fling, but don't act like a child.
Yeah, and btw, this "gir"l is THIRTY. You think she'd be an adult by now. If been told I should pursue more "mature" women - women older than me. I guess age really doesn't mean anything. I'm tempted to text message her and let her know how I feel, but I know I shouldn't. Still it would help to get this off my chest.
The party ended when I had a long discussion with Shoes about his relationship with Sarah. I had never really heard all of his side of the story before and the story he told me made me really sad for him and really upset about how Sarah had treated him. I can't say that I am surprised, given what I know about her now, but I still don't *want* her to be that way. He's finally given up on her and is beginning to move on. I'm happy for him.
,..
I'm recovering from a bad cold so I slept late today. In fact, I woke up at about 1pm when Sarah called me and asked if I wanted to go shopping with her. I reluctantly said yes and she gave me some time to shower and get ready. We ate lunch together and went to the mall.
I got home in the evening with just enough time to shower again so I could pick {MEMBER=Sid] and take her to Toast. Toast was uneventful, except I learned that one of my friends who worked there was fired today and in response my other friend (her boyfriend) quit. I was a bit upset about that. They decided to have a party tonight in order to forget about the recent events and they asked me to find people to bring to the party. Toast was kind of empty but I noticed a guy who was with three very attractive women and I could tell he wasn't really *with* any of them. I kind of wanted to talk to the cute one, but I was far too shy, so I asked my friend to invite them to the party. He did, but found out that they had already been invited (yay
). Sid and I left the club a little early and headed to the party.
The party was quiet at first but then the guy and the cutest of the three girls showed up (the one I wanted to meet). I was really happy and I started talking to them -- I got them beers and introduced them to the others at the party. Now, I can act a bit effeminate when I am drunk and it became obvious to me that the guy with the girl was gay. The girl was his roommate, he said, and I learned that she was straight and single and lived just down the street from me. He was very protective of her and since she was probably the only single, straight woman there, he needed to be. I was distracted from talking to some other people and when I went back to talk to her, there was this guy talking and talking to her. Anyone could tell that she wasn't really into talking to him, but he was being persistent and annoying, He was also a bit drunk. In the meantime, her gay friend began to hit on me
. He asked me to have a smoke with him and so on. I gave it some time, figuring that the annoying guy would give up and I could chat with her some more. But after a while, I think she just got annoyed and they began to get ready to leave, without me ever getting a chance to talk to her again. I made a last ditch effort and talked to her briefly and asked if she was on myspace (she wasn't) but it was apparent she wasn't in really the mood to talk to anyone at that point and they quickly left. I was pissed! This happened to me at my party too. I'm always being foiled by these creepy obnoxious guys who scare away all the single women. I'm making sure none of them show up at my next party. I'll probably never see her again and I didn't get as much as a e-mail or IM address. Oh well, you know, it didn't seem like she was that into me either.
Afterwards, I went back to talking to the other partiers and I met this cute girl who my friend Josh told me was straight and lilely single. We talked a little bit and seemed to be hitting it off and then she told me she was a lesbian. I didn't believe her at first (Josh had said otherwise) and I joked about it but she kept on insisting that she was. I talked to her a little more and then gave up, because it was apparent that either she was or didn't want me to think she was straight, and I really didn't know what to say to her then. Still, up to that point it was not such a bad night, but then...
She showed up... by "she", I mean the girl who I had hooked up with at Toast last month. To make a long story short, we met at Toast right before Thanksgiving after talking and flirting and making out a bit, I ended up going back to her place and spending the night (we fooled around, but no sex). The next morning she gave me her number and I told her I would call. I called her a couple of days later and left a message. Then at the end of the week I left another message. She never responded, so I decided to give up. But then, the next week she saw me at the gym and she approached me. We chatted for a little bit and I mentioned that I called her, but never heard from her. She told me that she had had a really busy week and she hadn't been returning any calls - that it just wasn't me. And she said that I should text message her next time because she always responded to text messages. And that she hasn't been in a good mood recently, but I should drag her out sometime anyways. So I waited till the end of the week and I texted her. Still no answer. So a couple of days later I texted her again. And then one more time. She never responded. Still confused, I decided to give up. That was about 2 weeks ago. I never tried to contact her again.
And now tonight, she walks into the party and I want to just run and hide, but I figured I'll be polite and wave hello. I say 'hi' to her and she comes up to me and gives me a quick hug and tells me she just got off work. She then goes and talks to some of her friends. I wait for a time to approach her alone so I can talk to her if she seems interested. Before I can, my good friend Josh comes up to me and tells me that her friend told him that I shouldn't approach her or try to talk to her because it would make her feel awkward. I was like..."wtf??!!" I seriously felt like I was in junior high school or something. Now I was the one who was feeling awkward. I was thinking about everything I could of done wrong and I wanted to let her know that if she *wasn't* interested in me, it was ok, and I wouldn't feel awkward. But now, by telling her friends that I shouldn't go near her or talk to her, it was making me feel very uncomfortable. I had to spend the rest of the night on one side of the room avoiding her and all the people she was talking with, while she actively avoided me. I felt like I had split the party in two, and I was pissed. I was good friends with both women who were hosting the party and she had never even been to their house before, but they were all talking with her and I felt abandoned by my friends. I was really angry and really hurt. Not because I felt rejected by her. Not because she didn't want to talk to me. I had given up on that long ago. But because now the whole party seemed to be avoiding me. And several of them retreated into a bedroom with her while I was left out in the living room alone, with the drunks and the passed out. I wasn't sure where I was welcome anymore and who I could talk to and who I couldn't. And I had no idea what she was telling the other people at the party about me or about what happened. Apparently, I was some kind of pushy jerk who just didn't get the point and kept on calling her? I dunno. I would have left right then but I wasn't sober enough to drive yet so I needed to chill a little bit more.
Many hours later when she and her friends left, she politely waved at my friend who I was talking to at the time but totally ignored me, and the polite wave I gave to her. After she was gone, my friends, who had talked to her, just told me to forget about her. I told them I had -- I just wanted to know what the deal was and why I was made to feel like an asshole. If she had just been mature about it...hell if she had just ignored me, it would have been fine, but why did she show up and ruin my evening? Why did it have to be so ridiculuous. I fucking never did anything to her. What a fucking bitch.
I know it's stupid for me to be pissed, but I feel like I go out of my way to be nice to people and sometimes I just get treated like shit. Even worse she is the last girl I've as much as kissed in months, since the summer,
and if it was just a fling, fine, it's just a fling, but don't act like a child.
Yeah, and btw, this "gir"l is THIRTY. You think she'd be an adult by now. If been told I should pursue more "mature" women - women older than me. I guess age really doesn't mean anything. I'm tempted to text message her and let her know how I feel, but I know I shouldn't. Still it would help to get this off my chest.
The party ended when I had a long discussion with Shoes about his relationship with Sarah. I had never really heard all of his side of the story before and the story he told me made me really sad for him and really upset about how Sarah had treated him. I can't say that I am surprised, given what I know about her now, but I still don't *want* her to be that way. He's finally given up on her and is beginning to move on. I'm happy for him.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
surprisingly, id say this cuz i am thirty and i am still like alittle child lolol. but when it comes to relationship, i know my deal tho
well mr..u know what ur worth, u are worth million bucks kiddo. fuck the women who treat u like shit. dont even give them a satisfaction of letting them know that it even bugs u. it shouldnt. actually u should feel bad the fact that they basically have insecurity problems and that they have to talk shit about other people to feel good about themselves.
I think u are a great guy and fuck, thats all that matters what your friends think of you!!!