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I awoke 4 times last night. 10pm. 12pm. 2am. 4am.
I had dreams about making a movie and never working again. I dreamt Cia took me back, and I didn't want her. Then, I dreamt she walked by me as if she didn't know me.

I dreamt about STDs and plagues. I dreamt about nothing.

Lighting awoke me once, and I couldn't sleep after 4am. I played on the computer until 6.

Things are still the same, that is, there is nothing. By bills are paid, and I am not working out. My ears still hurt, and I have a cold. I have a doctor's appointment today.
My dick hurts.

I realize this isn't something YOU want to deal with, but my penis takes up a great deal of my life, especially in the shower. I am not the most paranoid person in the world, but I am paranoid about my genitals. My crotch isn't the center of the universe, but smaller celestial bodies do orbit it, and I believe I have the right to be concerned if I feel pain or abnormality in that region.

Upon inspection, there are no abnormalities, sores or discolorations. Just a weird, aching pain and a tingling sensation. Maybe itching. It's not happy.

I'm convinced it's herpes. The physician's assistant is convinced it isn't.
I had a herpes scare once, but the "sore" never came back. It was 4 years ago. The tests were normal, and I never had anything else happen like that. I haven't had sex in a couple of months, so this just sorta surfaced. I told the PA my life story, and we decided to check for everything.

"We'll do a chlamydia culture and a prostate screening."

"Okay, great..... wait.... what was that second thing?

Needless to say, it was my first. I'm young, and my prostate feels just fine, thank you. No other doctor ever asked to test, touch or push upon my prostate, and I didn't know if I wanted one to do so.
But, I also wanted to cover all the bases. This particular base is in a rather odd place, but my sanity was worth a little poking and proding.

The kind man was nice enough to lube up adequately for the job. His sense of humor was slightly comforting as well. "It's a shitty job" and "Try not to sing" did help the situation. "Just relax" might have been the funniest thing I ever heard.

My prostate was A-OK, and he was sure it wasn't herpes.

"So I'm going to treat you like you've got raging chlamydia, whether you do or not." This treatment involves antibiotics and an injection. My new friend left after some further discussion, and I was pleased with his..... um.... well..... for lack of a better word, services.
The nurse finally came in to give my injection. "I need a hip." That's all she said.

For those of you who aren't privy to what I have been talking about, "I need a hip" means "I'm going to stick this needle in your ass. Pull down your pants."

The word "might" means definitely, and "will not" means probably. Especially for women doctors and nurses. They get that from sex, but in reverse. "Yes, I will have sex with you" means "You might get lucky." "Maybe" is an absolute refusal. "No," and you're just alone for the evening.

For those of you who are really lost, "I want to do a chlamydia culture" is really "I want to stick a small q-tip INTO your dick. It will be very painful." "I want to do a prostate screening" translates roughly to "I want to sick my finger in your ass. It will feel very strange. Just relax."
After pulling down my pants, the nurse said, "This might hurt a little." (see above)

Done, done and done. I left with my drugs and a sore right flank. My member was intact, and still not festering in any way, shape or form. The K-Y Jelly was still present, and my butt cheeks glided against one another as I walked to the car. Strangely annoying, and yet very smooth. I felt like taking a shower and dancing like a ballerina at the same time.

Maybe I'll lube up before work tomorrow and frolick through the halls all day.