my new craigslist ad:
"i like to cook" m4w
Hello all,
I am looking for a woman who will participate in a similar situation.
We meet early afternoon, and proceed to my place. We cover my apartment with 2 ply industrial rolls of plastic. Previously during the day we have baked pastries and other spread to resemble condensed geographical locations from throughout the globe. we carefully place each eatable region about my abode creating a confection littered asylum that we are allowed to run carelessly throughout, from key lime cupcake california to lusciously warm lemon wedge washington DC. At this point, we vacation from our delectable tirade amongst casual conversation peppered with the occasional vulgar quip (I am as crafty with wit as I am with whipped cream), and begin tapping the 2 kegs of Wheat beer that I obtained the day before.
Finally mildly intoxicated I excuse myself into the next room (despite your staunch protests, after all I am, VERY charming) and return dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte. I proudly present you with your Lex Luthor outfit and suggest my drawn out plot for the ultimate ambrosia ambit of delicious world domination.
You unconsciously find yourself submitting an alluring nod in my direction, and a smore smeared smile creeps across your face.
Your find yourself dissolved in your evil character, discovering an itch to destroy the delicious sugar laced buffet beneath you. You are intoxicated with power. With a shot of thunder similar to Zeus you take Topica Kansas into your hands and begin devouring. I whisper in your ear "A throne is only a bench covered in velvet" fueling your hunger for saccharine sweet power as you move to devour southern Italy. I take photos of you moving across the Ligurine Sea smashing Siena into your Lips. I butter my face with thick icing, blindly thrashing through china. You notice my child like ecstasy as I devour Beijing and begin to pounce towards me. I headlock you into antartica. Slipping on fruit salad we flatten into eastern europe and roll around in the recipe that has become our defeated world.
"What a meal" you breathe into my ear.
"It's not over yet" I answer.
suddenly you hear the unmistakable sound equine nature. I have a small pony fitted as a unicorn rush into the room which we both mount for ride, and bust out my front door. Dripping with cake and other treats the beast throws back and gives me a approving glance. We head to Franklin Street and hit a few local bars, getting the pony just as drunk as we are.
Close to midnight we discover our tiny pegasus picking a fight with a nasty old man at the end of the bar. It seems our jackass has had too much to drink. Belligerent, my unicorn finishes his PBR and pukes into the mans lap.
revealing his large teeth he spits into the man's face "Hey bud, you gots a f*ckin problem wit me havin curtains in my pickup truck??"
the bar goes dead silent.
how the hell do we get our drunk unicorn off this guy?
What do we do?
You whip out your breasts in which you start shooting lasers from your diamond like nipples annihilating the pony and everyone else in the bar. This turns me on. we make out on the flaming bar, ash and smoke choking us as we copulate.
"tonight was perfect" you tell me
"i think i love you" I gasp.
i reach behind the bar, still burning and take out a 6 foot tall roll of tin foil. you pull out 6 pounds of butter, sour cream, bacon and chives. we wrap ourselves up and bake in the fire. like two potatoes, forever in love.
Sound perfect??
Contact me with pictures!
anyway, been working the past week or so, and drinking a lot. here are some pics from a night or two ago.
"i like to cook" m4w
Hello all,
I am looking for a woman who will participate in a similar situation.
We meet early afternoon, and proceed to my place. We cover my apartment with 2 ply industrial rolls of plastic. Previously during the day we have baked pastries and other spread to resemble condensed geographical locations from throughout the globe. we carefully place each eatable region about my abode creating a confection littered asylum that we are allowed to run carelessly throughout, from key lime cupcake california to lusciously warm lemon wedge washington DC. At this point, we vacation from our delectable tirade amongst casual conversation peppered with the occasional vulgar quip (I am as crafty with wit as I am with whipped cream), and begin tapping the 2 kegs of Wheat beer that I obtained the day before.
Finally mildly intoxicated I excuse myself into the next room (despite your staunch protests, after all I am, VERY charming) and return dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte. I proudly present you with your Lex Luthor outfit and suggest my drawn out plot for the ultimate ambrosia ambit of delicious world domination.
You unconsciously find yourself submitting an alluring nod in my direction, and a smore smeared smile creeps across your face.
Your find yourself dissolved in your evil character, discovering an itch to destroy the delicious sugar laced buffet beneath you. You are intoxicated with power. With a shot of thunder similar to Zeus you take Topica Kansas into your hands and begin devouring. I whisper in your ear "A throne is only a bench covered in velvet" fueling your hunger for saccharine sweet power as you move to devour southern Italy. I take photos of you moving across the Ligurine Sea smashing Siena into your Lips. I butter my face with thick icing, blindly thrashing through china. You notice my child like ecstasy as I devour Beijing and begin to pounce towards me. I headlock you into antartica. Slipping on fruit salad we flatten into eastern europe and roll around in the recipe that has become our defeated world.
"What a meal" you breathe into my ear.
"It's not over yet" I answer.
suddenly you hear the unmistakable sound equine nature. I have a small pony fitted as a unicorn rush into the room which we both mount for ride, and bust out my front door. Dripping with cake and other treats the beast throws back and gives me a approving glance. We head to Franklin Street and hit a few local bars, getting the pony just as drunk as we are.
Close to midnight we discover our tiny pegasus picking a fight with a nasty old man at the end of the bar. It seems our jackass has had too much to drink. Belligerent, my unicorn finishes his PBR and pukes into the mans lap.
revealing his large teeth he spits into the man's face "Hey bud, you gots a f*ckin problem wit me havin curtains in my pickup truck??"
the bar goes dead silent.
how the hell do we get our drunk unicorn off this guy?
What do we do?
You whip out your breasts in which you start shooting lasers from your diamond like nipples annihilating the pony and everyone else in the bar. This turns me on. we make out on the flaming bar, ash and smoke choking us as we copulate.
"tonight was perfect" you tell me
"i think i love you" I gasp.
i reach behind the bar, still burning and take out a 6 foot tall roll of tin foil. you pull out 6 pounds of butter, sour cream, bacon and chives. we wrap ourselves up and bake in the fire. like two potatoes, forever in love.
Sound perfect??
Contact me with pictures!
anyway, been working the past week or so, and drinking a lot. here are some pics from a night or two ago.
niobe:
That is very funny. If only my fantasy on my profile didn't say what it says. 
ava_jade:
so this lex luthor outfit...bald cap or should i show up with my my head razored?