adrenalynne

i hate xmas, because i hate that no one is ever satisfied. i got a shirt and a CD and new spacers. no seriously, thats all i got. oh, and $50. whatever. family get-togethers are retarded. there was fighting and randomness at my house as usual. and then on xmas day i ran into an old ex at the bar, and it was just drunk and random. i didnt do anything, but i cant help but feel like i made a fool out of myself. like, if he had've invited me home with him, i would have accepted, and i think i might have made that a little too obvious. haha.
dealing with stupid people at work is getting to me. i love the people who call and then when the person they are looking for is on holidays, they prattle off a random list of names of people who work here, like its a game of bingo or something. losers. im beginning to think these people arent interested in doing any business so much as they are lonely.
why am i even at work today?
i should have just taken brent up on his offer and went over to his place and got hammered. at least then having no work to do would seem far less boring, as i would be dealing with a monster hangover instead of reading about donating my eggs for money. although donating my eggs might actually be a good idea... hmmm...

new years resolutions? yeah, i guess ive got some, as this past year hasn't been the best (it could have been worse, but hey, it could have been a lot better).
-im going to be a better vegan this year. i mean, its hard, and sometimes i'll have a bit of a toblerone or a mozzarella stick when no one is looking ... but its not just the food thing. being vegan is a lifestyle, and i am going to incorporate it more into my daily life than before. and being vegan doesnt necessarily mean healthy, so i am going to live my life with my health in mind.
-this is the relocating my life year, and starting over. so moving to BC is in the resolutions, and so is keeping in touch with the people that i love, and severing ties with people who are poisonous to me.
-fire poi. fire poi. fire poi.
-no more drugs. im not going to say that im going to quit smoking pot, but im going to cut down on pot and drinking, but i am done with all that other shit. i have abused my body enough, and i dont think my brain can handle anymore chemically-induced imbalances. shit fucks me up, man.
-no more random hookups. and no sex outside of relationships. ive been doing okay with this abstinance thing so far (for now!), so its not really a new years resolution so much as it is something i need to do in order to stay sane. and i also need to stop getting so damned scared when potential relationships present themself to me. so no more running away from people who care.
-getting all my shit with money and debt sorted out, and getting my lazy ass back in school. i know what i wanna do so its all a matter of getting there.
-keep with the piano thing. im doing well for now i think, and i can only get better as long as i stay with it. its fun, and it makes me happy.
-doing things that make me happy is the only resolution i really need, but its all baby steps from here (hell) to happy (there)

there is more that i want to do than i realised. oh, how my fingers are crossed that this will be the best year ever.
i dont think ive ever put any weight on new years resolutions before, but i think that actually having a list is going to help me do what i want to do.
i should be hearing back about one of the BC jobs in the new year. hopefully early in the new year, so i can get all my shit sorted out quickfast. im so nervous, because once January comes, if i have this job, everything is going to start rolling so fast. im starting to question whether im even ready to go or not. i think i am...