this is a 100% re-post of my myspace blog concerning my horrible/amazing weekend. here you go kids! hahaha.
my inability to control my emotions has led me to the question of why i am not longer being treated. again.
but if this is the way that my head works, then who am i to mess with it? or is it because i mess with it so often that it is the way that it is? would it even be any better if i didnt mess with it?
and there were so many other aggravating factors to my minor lapse from judgement this weekend that perhaps the fact that i temporarily lost it isnt as big of a deal as i had originally thought. it could have been worse though, and might have been worse, if there hadnt been someone with me to hold onto me, and tell me that it was okay. because it really was. i just cant believe that it happened. its been over a year since i freaked out anything close to that - oh, and i here i go: i now am going to stop myself from severly overanalysing all of my behaviours over this past weekend (which may prove difficult anyways, what with the swiss cheese memory i currently possess), and how they affected other people, and if i am being judged as a result. why do i even care!? (about being judged i mean, not about how my behaviour affects others - clearly a rhetorical question).
i think its just about time for me and weed to 'go on a break.' the last couple months have been fun, but my frequency has increased (esp after this past weekend), and i feel my STML intenisfying.
despite the terrible weather, i had a pretty decent time at the Treadlightly Music Festival this year. i have been rained on, and i have even slept with another person on a couple of chairs in a barn. with a damp sleeping bag. saw some decent bands though, and some wonderful people i havent seen or hung out with in ages (like MELLY!!!).
the highlights of the weekend (for me anyways) include walking through wonderfully carved forest paths, Martin telling me that he loves all of my cells (gotta love that MDMA!! hahahahahhaa), and kissing a certain someone who probably doesnt read this. but if he does read this, then he knows who he is (as he is the only person i have made out with in quite some time) and i dont need to say his name.
oh, and the Fairmont has been donated to Andrew. I no longer need it, and i think the fact it belonged to an ex is giving me bad camping karma. i now feel cleansed of that.
i am tired, and also i really wish that i wasnt at work. so much laundry. its all i have been doing since i got home.
notes: Melly is the sister of one of my friends. she is awesome. I have known Martin since high school. he is an oaf. we used to date. the fairmont is the hugest tent ever. it sleeps 12. STML = short term memory loss.
my inability to control my emotions has led me to the question of why i am not longer being treated. again.
but if this is the way that my head works, then who am i to mess with it? or is it because i mess with it so often that it is the way that it is? would it even be any better if i didnt mess with it?
and there were so many other aggravating factors to my minor lapse from judgement this weekend that perhaps the fact that i temporarily lost it isnt as big of a deal as i had originally thought. it could have been worse though, and might have been worse, if there hadnt been someone with me to hold onto me, and tell me that it was okay. because it really was. i just cant believe that it happened. its been over a year since i freaked out anything close to that - oh, and i here i go: i now am going to stop myself from severly overanalysing all of my behaviours over this past weekend (which may prove difficult anyways, what with the swiss cheese memory i currently possess), and how they affected other people, and if i am being judged as a result. why do i even care!? (about being judged i mean, not about how my behaviour affects others - clearly a rhetorical question).
i think its just about time for me and weed to 'go on a break.' the last couple months have been fun, but my frequency has increased (esp after this past weekend), and i feel my STML intenisfying.
despite the terrible weather, i had a pretty decent time at the Treadlightly Music Festival this year. i have been rained on, and i have even slept with another person on a couple of chairs in a barn. with a damp sleeping bag. saw some decent bands though, and some wonderful people i havent seen or hung out with in ages (like MELLY!!!).
the highlights of the weekend (for me anyways) include walking through wonderfully carved forest paths, Martin telling me that he loves all of my cells (gotta love that MDMA!! hahahahahhaa), and kissing a certain someone who probably doesnt read this. but if he does read this, then he knows who he is (as he is the only person i have made out with in quite some time) and i dont need to say his name.
oh, and the Fairmont has been donated to Andrew. I no longer need it, and i think the fact it belonged to an ex is giving me bad camping karma. i now feel cleansed of that.
i am tired, and also i really wish that i wasnt at work. so much laundry. its all i have been doing since i got home.
notes: Melly is the sister of one of my friends. she is awesome. I have known Martin since high school. he is an oaf. we used to date. the fairmont is the hugest tent ever. it sleeps 12. STML = short term memory loss.
is it a yearly thing?