adrastea

today the world and i reached a halt.
a sand storm that fell down and turned into rocks.
i became so sleep deprived
that my sense of care must have lost itself.

I graduate on Saturday from nursing school.
Exciting and scary.
I have another job interview, this time in Florida on the 22nd.
[what to do about the nursing license]
my brain hurts.
no more classes, no more school work.
I am finally free of the stress of school.
I can perhaps breathe.

My roommates, the ones that wanted me so desperately to move in with them
decided to move out on me. One of them's lease ends...the other two...are leaving.
They are moving to another building in the apartment complex
because their lease is as long as mine.
Without reason. They just said they were moving.
Their best excuse..was my cat...the one that stays locked up in the room.
Their next excuse, was opposite schedules. Nice try dear, but it isn't true.
Why they are leaving, I'm not sure.
What I did wrong, I wish I knew.
But I think the fact that I thought and saw these people as friends...
and they are fucking me over and leaving me without reason,
never spoke to me about anything I could have possibly done wrong...
really kind of hurts.
But at last, I am moving on to bigger, better things in life.
And some people you just need to let go of.
Sigh.

It's cold outside.
I miss your touch.
It gets lonely here.
lonely and everyone seems
to be disappearing.

I can't wait to see the waves crash on shore next week,
even if it is cold outside.
It will be ten degrees hotter there, at least.

My father is coming to my graduation.
It seems he can only see me when I graduate.
The last time I saw him was my high school graduation.
I'm not even sure what he looks like anymore.
This could be interesting.

I need sleep.
But I'm still trying to stream Misfits TV show.
Oh how I hate my internet.

Sometimes I write
and sometimes it makes no sense
but it only matters to me.
I have letters from the Pen Pal group to write back to.
I'm a slacker.

Love is just a metaphor
for when our hearts yearn for something more.

Nightmare will go back to my friends tomorrow in Montgomery.
I will miss her. she's a fat ass cat though.
I think she will be happier there, and not in my small room.
Thank goodness she is able to go there right now.
Especially when my roommates are shitting on me.

I really love this song.


this song hits home.
it's beautiful.
and i can relate to most of the lyrics.
it plays on repeat lately.

I feel like i'm d i s t a n c i n g myself lately
from everyone.
because those who i don't distance myself from
seem to poke at my heart.
or hurt me.

What I have, I do not want.
What I want, I cannot have.

I am not sure who you are anymore.
Our distance is becoming more distant.
I'm not sure who I am either.


this world is to big
to big for my shoulders.

I really love the show Misfits.
It reminds me of Heroes, but not.

I've also been listening to The Black Keys a lot.
A big change from Mayday Parade.
Their CD 'Brothers' has been where my happy place is.
I enjoy all of their songs from that cd.
They really change my mood to much better.
It's some good jammin' change your mood music.
So The Black Keys have been more on repeat than anything.


I hope to get my life on track soon.
This is a new beginning.
a new start to my life.
a scary one.
one i'd rather not do alone.
one I hope I make the right decisions on.
at least I no longer have school work to worry about.

Anyways, I must sleep now. <3
Have a good day.
PS. It's over due time for a video blog...what should I do one on?