I posted earlier that I had an issue with porn. I went a week without porn and masturbation. It was intense. The urges to look at porn and masturbate were crazy.
With my other half, getting an erection isn't easy because of it. I need Viagra and even then, I don't orgasm. It's frustrating. I feel like I'm not good enough and I constantly worry that it makes her feel like she isn't attractive when she definitely is. Erectile dysfunction isn't fun. It's horrid. I reached a point where I need internet porn to reach orgasm.
I decided to download a book and read as much as I can. I think I know how to get out of this now. I know the reasons.
Boredom, fear, low self esteem and low self confidence. Before I got into porn, I was happy and outgoing as a boy. The porn problem started in high school as I wasn't very attractive and I was alienated. The porn started coming in and fantasies at 14. After that things changed. My grades slipped, I got fat. This reinforced the idea that I had of no woman wanting me. It's all this stuff that feeds into it.
I have made the choice that I need to kick this addiction to porn. It's permeating areas of my personal life. So I've set the goal of no pornography for the rest of the year. In that goal, is the smaller goal of the first week. Right now it's the first day. The dopamine kick is still in the brain so when that leaves this will be a fun ride.
Here I go