Loved and Lost....
On July 4th of this year (2010) I lost my best friend of over 12 years. She is the most real and beautiful person I have ever known. Her dad committed suicide when she was 12. I was there for her when she had to deal with the pain. He mother remarried when she was 17, had a baby boy within the year and died three months later of cancer. The babies father was an POS that showed up to the hospital when the baby was sick and the hospital called CPS because he was drunk. My friend had been fighting for custody of her brother ever since. Last December, right before the little boys birthday, she received custody of him. She was an only child, so having a sibling was all she could ever ask for, and getting custody of him was a blessing. She was attending community college, had a full time job and lived for that little boy. The sad thing is, that it could have went completely different. She smoked tough...all day and all night. It got to the point where she got caught with weed and almost lost the chance of having custody unless she sought treatment. She eventually quit smoking weed and saved the chance of raising her little brother. Unfortunately, both of her parents, had a history of alcohol abuse. She quit smoking weed, but turned to alcohol. She drank.....A LOT. It was sad, but she seemed to have a hold of her life at 21.
She had a boyfriend...a total POS. She called me one night telling me how the night before she picked her bf up from a friends house and he was trashed. They got into an argument and she pulled over and told him to get out of her car. He started to choke her and when she grabbed her phone to call her grandma, he grabbed the phone and beat her over the head with it. They did break up after that event, but over time they ended up back together and he eventually moved in with her. I was her best friend and I expressed what a POS he was but I didn't want to be the annoying friend talking in her ear, I've been there before myself. I called her one night to ask if she wanted to hang out, but her reply was, "I'm hanging out with HIM." She put and emphasis on the word "him". I was upset, but she was always such a strong person ( I've seen her fight!), that I let her have her time.
Two months later (July 2nd) I got a call at 2am from her cousin. My heart raced because I knew something was wrong. Her cousin told me that my friend was admitted into the hospital from alcohol poisoning. She and her boyfriend were house sitting for a family friend and he found her the next morning on the floor with dried blood in her nose and mouth, after a night of heavy drinking. When I got to the hospital she was in a coma. The doctors said she aspirated. She puked on her back and it choked her. She suffered a massive heart attack and it stopped. He lungs, liver, kidney and heart were done. She had internal bleeding and gained 40 lbs of water weight. It was the most sickening sight I have seen in my life. I puked. I hurt every day because I can't believe she is gone...my best friend. She knew EVERYTHING about me. She can never be replaced.
After the first day it seemed as though she would make it through, but she wasn't responsive except for a hand squeeze. I just can't believe she's gone.
Come to find out her blood alcohol level was .28 She only weighed 125 lbs. Her boyfriend has two different stories and I wish I could kill him, but I know it isn't his fault...but if he had something to do with it, I hope he rotes in hell.
I talk to people about what had happened to help me heal, but they are confused by the way I tell it. They say I tell it as if I was reading a book. It's that way at first, but then I break down after the fact. I just thought I'd vent and tell you her story and hope someone could connect on a similar level. Thank you for reading.
On July 4th of this year (2010) I lost my best friend of over 12 years. She is the most real and beautiful person I have ever known. Her dad committed suicide when she was 12. I was there for her when she had to deal with the pain. He mother remarried when she was 17, had a baby boy within the year and died three months later of cancer. The babies father was an POS that showed up to the hospital when the baby was sick and the hospital called CPS because he was drunk. My friend had been fighting for custody of her brother ever since. Last December, right before the little boys birthday, she received custody of him. She was an only child, so having a sibling was all she could ever ask for, and getting custody of him was a blessing. She was attending community college, had a full time job and lived for that little boy. The sad thing is, that it could have went completely different. She smoked tough...all day and all night. It got to the point where she got caught with weed and almost lost the chance of having custody unless she sought treatment. She eventually quit smoking weed and saved the chance of raising her little brother. Unfortunately, both of her parents, had a history of alcohol abuse. She quit smoking weed, but turned to alcohol. She drank.....A LOT. It was sad, but she seemed to have a hold of her life at 21.
She had a boyfriend...a total POS. She called me one night telling me how the night before she picked her bf up from a friends house and he was trashed. They got into an argument and she pulled over and told him to get out of her car. He started to choke her and when she grabbed her phone to call her grandma, he grabbed the phone and beat her over the head with it. They did break up after that event, but over time they ended up back together and he eventually moved in with her. I was her best friend and I expressed what a POS he was but I didn't want to be the annoying friend talking in her ear, I've been there before myself. I called her one night to ask if she wanted to hang out, but her reply was, "I'm hanging out with HIM." She put and emphasis on the word "him". I was upset, but she was always such a strong person ( I've seen her fight!), that I let her have her time.
Two months later (July 2nd) I got a call at 2am from her cousin. My heart raced because I knew something was wrong. Her cousin told me that my friend was admitted into the hospital from alcohol poisoning. She and her boyfriend were house sitting for a family friend and he found her the next morning on the floor with dried blood in her nose and mouth, after a night of heavy drinking. When I got to the hospital she was in a coma. The doctors said she aspirated. She puked on her back and it choked her. She suffered a massive heart attack and it stopped. He lungs, liver, kidney and heart were done. She had internal bleeding and gained 40 lbs of water weight. It was the most sickening sight I have seen in my life. I puked. I hurt every day because I can't believe she is gone...my best friend. She knew EVERYTHING about me. She can never be replaced.
After the first day it seemed as though she would make it through, but she wasn't responsive except for a hand squeeze. I just can't believe she's gone.
Come to find out her blood alcohol level was .28 She only weighed 125 lbs. Her boyfriend has two different stories and I wish I could kill him, but I know it isn't his fault...but if he had something to do with it, I hope he rotes in hell.
I talk to people about what had happened to help me heal, but they are confused by the way I tell it. They say I tell it as if I was reading a book. It's that way at first, but then I break down after the fact. I just thought I'd vent and tell you her story and hope someone could connect on a similar level. Thank you for reading.
I lost my buddy of years and years to stomach cancer. It was ridiculously fast and ridiculously brutal and I was so angry at everyone and everything.
But then one day it hit me like a brick; fuck the anger and sadness for that cheapens the memory.
So now most of the time (I can't honestly say all) the memories I savor are the positive ones.
There are times that I'm sad and upset/angry about the loss, and that's only natural because we have emotional highs and lows but those good times eventually trump the bad.
Hang in there and, always, feel free to holler if you need a metaphorical shoulder.
-Scotty
This is a very sad story and I wonder why it all happened that way. When I lost my brother, many years ago, he was 4 year old and I was 16, to all effects I took care of him like if he was my son (my father was not around very much). I was devastated but I could not cry. It was just too much to cry. Many years later, I had a second chance (with a son of mine).
I am convinced these things happen for a reason. And the question now, I believe is what does it mean for you? You will never know what it meant for your friend. What are the beautiful things that this friendship brought to you? What did it teach you about yourself. Maybe you can, re-live the whole story of your friendship in your head and in your heart. You can do this to honour your friend and the gifts she brought to you and also to make sense of your own life.
What will happen now of the little brother?
A big hug (from a fellow human being)
Marc