adamantium

You don't realize what you have until it's not there anymore. I think this really holds true. I got into a fight with Katie tonight over something I consider both stupid and serious at the same time. The stupid part comes with both of us being a bit immature about the situation. The serious part comes with me picking a night that is meaningful to both of us, to ask her something like I did...our anniversary. You see I've been hanging out with this girl that's had a crush on my for the last week and a half or so. It started out as just wanting to be friends with her, but the more we hang out, the more I start to like her. Now for the fun part. I'm still so in love with Katie I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in a rough spot. If I continue to wait for Katie to come back to me, I'm going to lose Jessie as a friend. But if I start dating Jessie, I'm going to lose Katie. AND if I choose to take some time to figure out what I want, I risk losing both of them. (gotta love that irony I'm at such a loss right now. I'm pretty sure that I lost one of my best friends tonight, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose another friend tomorrow when I talk to Jessie. I'm just so tired of hurting people and being hurt. Maybe I'll just become a hermit and go live somewhere in the mountains and have no friends...nah that'll never happen, I'm to attached to all the ones I have now. I'm hoping Katie accepts my apology and will possibly let me come up to talk to her for a little bit and have a civilized conversation with her tomorrow about this. (I say civilized, because everytime we fight lately it's turned into bashing each other with things that I at least don't really mean.) Hopeful thinking right now I guess. I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best.