ada

So I just got a letter that I have been pre-approved for a Capital One Platinum Visa card (etc, etc)...

And I'm like-- "huh?" I've been unemployed for almost a year and the two credit cards I already have are both overlimit and haven't been payed in many months. Are they somehow not aware of this? Should I bother to fill out the thing or just assume that they wouldn't accept it once they realized their mistake? I could really use a credit card right now...

I had to walk home from Adam's house yesterday morning, because although he left me his car key he forgot to leave the key to his club-thing, and I had no money for a cab. It's okay, though. I got excercise.

There are these huge dark clouds outside. The weather has been so ominous and foreboding today: greenish sky, wind blowing trash and leaves around in frantic circles, heavy oppressive clouds...

I'm just in a SUPER mood right now, really. I have no job (and no job skills) and no money and no friends and lots of debt and I hate my roommate and my boyfriend and I aren't getting along and my parents hate each other and keep trying to involve me in it and I can't just tell them to fuck off because they're giving me money and they're going to cut me off soon because I've been out of school for a year and have done absolutely nothing (I mean fuck-all) with myself since then... I am basically a waste of space these days. I swallow up people's money and time and food and give back nothing in return. I make promises I can't keep. I take on obligations I have no intention of fulfilling. I don't answer the phone or open my mail because I don't want to deal with any of it.

I am a fuck-up. I don't blame him one bit for resenting me. I'm not real happy with the person I've been lately. Can I be someone else now?