A week in portland and I didnt come on so here is what I wrote. While spending a very lovely week in Portland with Beckah....... I heart my cupcakefrenchfries.....
Karma
I listen to her voice messages saved
Hearing her little noises
sounds so cute I cant help but want
I wont stuff it away
I love her
I have loved her since the last life
I have found something here
But I can sell it or show you it
But it is worth more to me then
Air.
Thursday-So I have been riding since I was about 13 when I got my first road bike and since then I have been pretty addicted. I took a few years off do to injuries and fear of traffic. The whole time I have always wanted a girl to go riding with that can take a spill, handle traffic, and give me shit.. oh and who is pretty much another me. Well here I am in downtown Portland with my new bike roxie, my old bike pearl, and Beckah (she bought pearl off me) and we are riding in some weather I usually stay in for. It's 32 degrees out with ice on the roads, traffic and a wind chill that makes your toes go numb, I look back over my wheel and Beckah is all over it which is so weird. I have made bikes for other girlfriends and I think my style of riding scares the shit out of them and even Joe who has been my riding partner for a few years says Im insane, so to have a hottie keep on it is almost dream like.
Portland is a pretty much like a mix of the mission and berkeley with a lot of young people and a strong community of hipsters. It also have a lot of bike riders which is nice. I could live in a place like this but for the cold. I really cant stand the cold. I am a spoiled bay boy... Beckah has been getting me to step out into this weather for great rides around a pretty city and stuffin me full of vegan delights.
This has been really nice but classes start on Monday and I will be back that evening. It's going to be a mixed emotion thing as this is rounding out my last bit of classes which I'm so stoked on, yet leaving a great chick and my pearl. My future is here and I have to do whats best for 10 years from now and not right now. I know we only have the moment we are in but its good to keep a plan for tomorrow. I also know we don't control shit and life puts things in your life for a reason. I find Beckah to be unbelievably comfortable to be around the thing that scares me is that she shares a lot of my other ex's behaviors which have been not so healthy. I dont know if I am ready for anything but there is a massive part of me that is dying to relax and let myself be with someone. My guard is on high and I know this is putting her off more then anything. I feel really damaged by life even though this is a dream. Sometimes my dreams are the worst thing for me. So in the end right now in this moment I am surrounded by things that I love. mmmm thank god for bikes.
Friday-Freezing
So today we decided to get Pearl in a better state of being which meant we had to go out in the rain. I fucking hate the rain the cold and ice is one fucked time, the freezin sleet is no good either. So Beckah is all just man up and get your rain gear on, so I do. The laughable part is the moment we get out the basement door; she has one of the coolest basement apartments ever. Ok so we hit the street and I haven't even got my leg over Roxie when Beckah says I think we should take the car. I just laugh and say "oh no we are riding, i didnt get this gear on for nothing". So she heads off like a bat out of hell towards our 4.87 mile destination of the bike farm. This is a co-op bike place where you can work on you bikes. It saves a lot of cash to do the work yourself. So with in about 2 miles the numb starts but we push on, to make a long story short we get to the co-op and the only stand they have for us is the one out side. My hands are frozen like red and hurting kinda freezin. I push past the pain and fix that black pearl up to were she needs to be. We both havent eaten and if you have been around me when that is the cause Im a raging asshole, well Beckah is 5 times the asshole when in that state. So we head to this veggie diner which has the eats, the eats were perfect. We both are looking like drown rats by this time and frozen ones at that; so we are holding our cups of coffee with both hands to warm the numb and snappy. I'm pretty sure the waitress was scared at first.
I have to say the Roxie is one foxy bike, she gets a lot of attention from passer when she is locked up. While I was suiting up after have a full meal the bartender comes over and we talk about how he feels like a pussy for taking his girlfriends car into work but the weather was just too much. He also mentioned for the second time how fancy my bike was. It's nice to be in a city full of bikes and girls and have the hottest rolling with me. We get our wet but warm gear back on and head back the now 5.8 miles back to home. Within about 5 blocks the numb is back in full force but I'm fat and happy and thinking this is going to be a ride for the books. Freezin, fixed, and sliding around like oiled up strippers wrestling is going to read well so I didnt let the numb hurt me. Well we hit some massive lake like puddles that soak the feet and now the wind is kickin so you can imagine the state of our feet. Beckah is like a fine vintage but she is new to this and has gone from never been on a bike to with in a week cutting in traffic, rain riding, and balls to the wall so I let her. I just laugh as I wouldnt even do this if she wasnt here. We hit her door, strip faster then prom dates and hit the shower to warm the now frost bitten parts. That shower was the saving. I will never do that again unless in an emergency or tomorrow for raw vegan delights. I really have to say Portland has the vegans covered and then some and I just wish I could find better places in the bay to compare too.
Tomorrow will be the last day in a place that actually feels like home, which I havent felt since August. Finland fucked me up and I finally feel closer to normal but its a slow heal.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'?
Calvin & Hobbes
Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife - birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes and dingoes - by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billion and eats them. This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative - and fatal - health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year, sends out cards praying for Peace on Earth.
David Coats, Old MacDonald's Factory Farm
http://www.afa-online.org/
Karma
I listen to her voice messages saved
Hearing her little noises
sounds so cute I cant help but want
I wont stuff it away
I love her
I have loved her since the last life
I have found something here
But I can sell it or show you it
But it is worth more to me then
Air.
Thursday-So I have been riding since I was about 13 when I got my first road bike and since then I have been pretty addicted. I took a few years off do to injuries and fear of traffic. The whole time I have always wanted a girl to go riding with that can take a spill, handle traffic, and give me shit.. oh and who is pretty much another me. Well here I am in downtown Portland with my new bike roxie, my old bike pearl, and Beckah (she bought pearl off me) and we are riding in some weather I usually stay in for. It's 32 degrees out with ice on the roads, traffic and a wind chill that makes your toes go numb, I look back over my wheel and Beckah is all over it which is so weird. I have made bikes for other girlfriends and I think my style of riding scares the shit out of them and even Joe who has been my riding partner for a few years says Im insane, so to have a hottie keep on it is almost dream like.
Portland is a pretty much like a mix of the mission and berkeley with a lot of young people and a strong community of hipsters. It also have a lot of bike riders which is nice. I could live in a place like this but for the cold. I really cant stand the cold. I am a spoiled bay boy... Beckah has been getting me to step out into this weather for great rides around a pretty city and stuffin me full of vegan delights.
This has been really nice but classes start on Monday and I will be back that evening. It's going to be a mixed emotion thing as this is rounding out my last bit of classes which I'm so stoked on, yet leaving a great chick and my pearl. My future is here and I have to do whats best for 10 years from now and not right now. I know we only have the moment we are in but its good to keep a plan for tomorrow. I also know we don't control shit and life puts things in your life for a reason. I find Beckah to be unbelievably comfortable to be around the thing that scares me is that she shares a lot of my other ex's behaviors which have been not so healthy. I dont know if I am ready for anything but there is a massive part of me that is dying to relax and let myself be with someone. My guard is on high and I know this is putting her off more then anything. I feel really damaged by life even though this is a dream. Sometimes my dreams are the worst thing for me. So in the end right now in this moment I am surrounded by things that I love. mmmm thank god for bikes.
Friday-Freezing
So today we decided to get Pearl in a better state of being which meant we had to go out in the rain. I fucking hate the rain the cold and ice is one fucked time, the freezin sleet is no good either. So Beckah is all just man up and get your rain gear on, so I do. The laughable part is the moment we get out the basement door; she has one of the coolest basement apartments ever. Ok so we hit the street and I haven't even got my leg over Roxie when Beckah says I think we should take the car. I just laugh and say "oh no we are riding, i didnt get this gear on for nothing". So she heads off like a bat out of hell towards our 4.87 mile destination of the bike farm. This is a co-op bike place where you can work on you bikes. It saves a lot of cash to do the work yourself. So with in about 2 miles the numb starts but we push on, to make a long story short we get to the co-op and the only stand they have for us is the one out side. My hands are frozen like red and hurting kinda freezin. I push past the pain and fix that black pearl up to were she needs to be. We both havent eaten and if you have been around me when that is the cause Im a raging asshole, well Beckah is 5 times the asshole when in that state. So we head to this veggie diner which has the eats, the eats were perfect. We both are looking like drown rats by this time and frozen ones at that; so we are holding our cups of coffee with both hands to warm the numb and snappy. I'm pretty sure the waitress was scared at first.
I have to say the Roxie is one foxy bike, she gets a lot of attention from passer when she is locked up. While I was suiting up after have a full meal the bartender comes over and we talk about how he feels like a pussy for taking his girlfriends car into work but the weather was just too much. He also mentioned for the second time how fancy my bike was. It's nice to be in a city full of bikes and girls and have the hottest rolling with me. We get our wet but warm gear back on and head back the now 5.8 miles back to home. Within about 5 blocks the numb is back in full force but I'm fat and happy and thinking this is going to be a ride for the books. Freezin, fixed, and sliding around like oiled up strippers wrestling is going to read well so I didnt let the numb hurt me. Well we hit some massive lake like puddles that soak the feet and now the wind is kickin so you can imagine the state of our feet. Beckah is like a fine vintage but she is new to this and has gone from never been on a bike to with in a week cutting in traffic, rain riding, and balls to the wall so I let her. I just laugh as I wouldnt even do this if she wasnt here. We hit her door, strip faster then prom dates and hit the shower to warm the now frost bitten parts. That shower was the saving. I will never do that again unless in an emergency or tomorrow for raw vegan delights. I really have to say Portland has the vegans covered and then some and I just wish I could find better places in the bay to compare too.
Tomorrow will be the last day in a place that actually feels like home, which I havent felt since August. Finland fucked me up and I finally feel closer to normal but its a slow heal.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'?
Calvin & Hobbes
Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife - birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes and dingoes - by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billion and eats them. This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative - and fatal - health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year, sends out cards praying for Peace on Earth.
David Coats, Old MacDonald's Factory Farm
http://www.afa-online.org/