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I just spent 2 hours adding three roses to my chest and armpit. I felt my chest piece need some love and color so off I went to sit. oh i love the pain?

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So Beckah just flew down here for another weekend. This girl kills me as one moment she is way not into me and the next talking about Reno style. She is made cool for sleeping with me on a pull out as no one wants me as a roommate. We hung out here at my brothers place as I did made amounts of work.
There...
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Ghost in
Hearing her laugh after being so angry
making her see she is off the clock
I began to loose control of my lock
That section of promises forgotten
Look where we have gotten
I didn't want it to be here
I'm just a jealous guy
I didn't mean to make you cry
Swallowing my pain I hide away
tssh tssh find me under...
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So another one comes and goes. Beckah says its selfish to continue dating over the distance and I didnt disagree. I always let the girl guide the ship as I dont want to be the asshole. I have a full load at school and will only have a day off a week and that isnt enough to get to portland n back nor is it...
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A week in portland and I didnt come on so here is what I wrote. While spending a very lovely week in Portland with Beckah....... I heart my cupcakefrenchfries.....

Karma
I listen to her voice messages saved
Hearing her little noises
sounds so cute I cant help but want
I wont stuff it away
I love her
I have loved her since the last life...
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She drove 8 hrs to talk to me and now Im riding 8 hrs to spend my last week of vacation in portland. I hope its not to cold for this californian softy. Finland was cold enough for one year.

New Year
I so glad the holidays are over. I feel this year is going to be a great one for once. I ended 07 right and brought in 08 kdb style. I have to say that it hasn't rained like this since before Alida. I'm a whore once again. Its nice to know that there were all these pieces just waiting for me to...
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The other night a dream came true. I dated this girl back in h.s and we hit it off great. I mean I was a puppy dog about her. She was everything I wanted in a girl. So we fooled around in h.s but only once had sex. I was this little mod on a vespa and she was this doll of perfection. It was...
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Life is in a good but weird place. I havent ever felt so comfortable with being me and without anyone. I do need a new tattoo but am glad that all are finished on me. I have some great friends yet not a dollar to my name. If I didnt know any better I would think something was about to happen.

Syrup

For now two friday nights running I have gotten into loads of trouble. I love being back in the places that love me.

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For Xmas I want my life to be sweeter then before. I like sweet things. Well with a heart broken and back in sf my life took a nasty turn. Last night got in a nasty street fight and way too drunk. Almost crashed and my heart is still really cold. Im sleeping on the floor of a friends place for a month or two....
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